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Science Proves Same-Sex Marriage Wrong!

So says a Nigerian grad student, who also claims to have discovered all kinds of other truths. Chibuihem Amalaha, a chemical engineering grad student, says he has proven using physics, chemistry, biology and mathematics that gay marriage is just plain wrong.

Then, he zeroed in on his research about gay marriage. He said: “In recent time I found that gay marriage,which is homosexuality and lesbianism, is eating deep into the fabric of our human nature all over the world and this was why nations of Sodom and Gomora were destroyed by God because they were into gay practice. That is, a man marrying another man and a woman marrying another woman.

“A recent publication on May 3, 2013 shows that France is the 14th country in the world that have legalised gay. I asked myself why should a man be marrying a man and a woman marrying a woman, does it mean that there is no more female for a man to marry or there is no more male for a woman to marry? And recently, Britain told Nigeria to legalise gay marriage of forfeit international aid. I thank God for our lawmakers who refused to sign the bill legalising gay marriage. And so God gave me the wisdom to use science as a scientist to prove gay marriage wrong.

“In the area of physics, I used physics with experiments, I used chemistry with experiments, I used biology with experiments and I used mathematics to prove gay marriage wrong.

“To start with, physics is one of the most fundamentals of all the sciences and I used two bar magnets in my research. A bar magnet is a horizontal magnet that has the North Pole and the South Pole and when you bring two bar magnets and you bring the North Pole together you find that the two North Poles will not attract. They will repel, that is, they will push away themselves showing that a man should not attract a man. If you bring two South Poles together you find that the two South Poles will not attract indicating that same sex marriage should not hold. A female should not attract a female as South Pole of a magnet does not attract the South Pole of a magnet. But, when you bring a North Pole of a magnet and a South Pole of a magnet they will attract because they are not the same, indicating that a man will attract a woman because of the way nature has made a female. Even in physics when you study what is called electrostatics, you found that when you rub particles together they don’t attract each other but when you rub particle in another medium they will attract each other. For example, if you use your biro and rub it on your hair, after rubbing, try to bring small pieces of paper they will attract because one is charged while the other one is not charged. But if both of them are charged they don’t attract, which means that man cannot attract another man because they are the same, and a woman should not attract a woman because they are the same. That is how I used physics to prove gay marriage wrong.

Fucking magnets, how do they work?

“In chemistry, I used chemical reactions and we have different types of chemical reactions. We have double decomposition reaction, decomposition reaction, neutralisation reaction and reduction oxidation reaction. But in chemistry I used a simple one known as neutralisation reaction which is a reaction where an acid reacts with a base to give you salt and water. For example, when you bring surphuric acid and you reacts it with sodium hydroxide which is a base you are going to have salt and water. That tells you that the acid is a different body, the base is a different body and they will react. But if you bring an acid and you pour it on top of an acid chemistry there will be no reaction. If you bring water and pour it on top it shows that there will be no reaction. If you bring a base either sodium hydroxide and you pour it on top of a sodium hydroxide you find out that there will be reaction showing that a man on top of a man will have no reaction. A woman on top of a woman will have no reaction, that is what chemistry is showing. Even in chemistry when you also use a process called electrolysis, which is if you use electrolysis of acidilated water, that is water you drop some droplets of acid on it, you found that the negative ions will be attracted to the positive ones while the positive ions will be attracted to the negative ones. So the negative ones are not attracted to their peers, they are all attracted to the positive electrode and the positive ones are not attracted to the positive electrode. Instead, the negative ion is attracted to positive electrodes and why is it that the negative is attracted to the positive? It is because they are not the same. Likewise a man cannot be attracted to a man as negative ion is not attracted to the negative electrode instead negative ion is attracted to the positive electrode. That is what electrolysis is showing us that gay marriage is wrong in the area of chemistry.

Okey dokey.

“In biology, I used simple experiments and I came down to a lay man. We have seen that the female of a fowl is called hen and the male of a fowl is called a cock. We have never seen where a cock is having sex with a cock and we have never seen where a hen is having sex with another. Even among lions when you go to the zoo you find out that lion does not mate with a lion instead a lion will mate with a lioness showing that a lion being a male will mate with lioness being a female. Now if animals that are of even lower creature understand so much, how come human being made in the higher image of God that is even of higher creature will be thinking of a man having sex with another and woman having sex with another woman? That shows that it’s a misnomer and when you come to real biological standard, when you see a lady you love there is what is called the follicle stimulating hormone. The follicle stimulating hormone in a man triggers what is called spermatogenesis through your brain which is called hypothalamus. It will send message to your brain when you see a lady you love and through the hypothalamus you will go after the lady. And it will trigger your spermatogenesis and the lady’s host follicles stimulating hormone will be triggered by the hypothalamus and it will stimulate her ovarian follicle. So in the man is the spermatogenesis, in female it’s the ovarian follicle. You find out that the sperm alone does not produce a child and the ovary alone in the female does not produce a child. They need each other for reproduction to occur and the follicle stimulating hormone in the man and that of the female promote different things. The sperm in the man alone doesn’t produce a child and ovary in the female alone does not produce a child, they need each other for reproduction to occur. So that shows how biology proves that gay marriage is wrong.

Except, of course, for the fact that we have observed homosexuality in hundreds of other species.

In mathematics which is another core area of science, I used what is called the principle of commutativity and idepotency. Commutativity in mathematics is simply the arrangement of numbers or arrangement of letters in which the way you arrange them don’t matter. For example, if you say A + B in mathematics you are going to have B + A. For example, if I say two plus three it will give five. If I start from three, I say three plus two it also give you five showing that two plus three and three plus two are commutative because they gave the same results. That shows that A + B will give you B + A, you see that there is a change. In A + B, A started the journey while in B + A, B started the journey. If we use A as a man and use B as a woman we are going to have B + A that is woman and man showing that there is a reaction. A + B reacted, they interchanged and gave us B + A showing that commutativity obeys that a man should not marry a man and a woman should not marry a woman. If you use idempotency, it’s a reaction in mathematics where A + A = A. Actually in abstract algebra, A + A =2A but we are less concerned with the numerical value two. We are more less concerned with the symbols A, you find out that A + A will give you A showing that the whole thing goes unchanged. It didn’t change unlike commutativity A + B give B + A there is a change. A started the journey in commutativity and A + B gave us B + A and B started the journey after the equality sign. But in the case of idempotency A + A will give you A showing that it goes unreacted. You started with A and you meet A ,the final result is A. Showing that a man meeting a man A + A will produce a man there is no reaction, it goes unreacted and in chemical engineering you have to send the material back to the reactor for the action to be carried out again showing that it goes unreacted. That is how mathematics has shown that gay marriage is wrong because commutativity proves that gay marriage is wrong. Idempotency also proves that gay marriage is wrong. So these are the principles I have used to prove gay marriage wrong in physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics and by the grace of God I am the only one that has proved this in the whole world.

Somebody get Tony Perkins on the phone. He has to hear this.

“If you go on the Internet to check whether there is anybody who has used physics to prove gay marriage wrong, you find out there is none. You go to Google or youtube check whether there is anybody that has used chemistry to find same sex marriage wrong, you find out there is none and the same applies to biology and mathematics.

“In general, same sex marriage is evil. It should be stopped by those practicing it. Now they are saying that they will go and adopt a child, the question is that if everybody shows interest in same sex marriage where would the child they are adopting come from?”

And now his works have earned him the respect in the world of science. He said: “At the University of Lagos where I currently study as a student you will find my publication on the notice board there. When you go to the Senate Building of the university you will see the same notice there and even recently my lecturer at the Department of Chemical Engineering, Profesor D.S.Aribuike pointedly told me that I will win Nobel prize one day, because he found that my works are real and nobody has done it in any part of the world. You know Nobel Prize is the highest award anyone could ever win and no African has won Nobel Prize in science. So I am aspiring to win Nobel Prize for Africa. Other universities have seen my work and sent me commendations. I have a professor friend who has seen the work I did and he sent me congratulatory message because of the originality of the work.”

Yeah, you might not want to hold your breath while waiting for the Nobel prize. I’m not an expert in physics, chemistry, biology and math like you, but I think you might die first.

Comments

  1. says

    As a true Muslim and believer im condemning this… our religion is flexible enough but no space for such rubbish… there is a detailed chapters in our religion book THE NOBLE QUR’AN in which you will find the story of ” People of LOT” who were involve in the same sin “The Homosexuality”, they all were destroyed b’coz of homosexuality…. Anatomy of anus is not fit for sexual act…. biology. Anus is endodermal in origin so its wound never heals. So, it becomes quite unnatural to get into anus. People find it disgusting to insert and move about the male executive organ into the anus, which serves to discharge the faeces.

    It’s all right to insert the same organ into the vagina, which serves only to void urine, discharge menstrual blood and various other defilements, and eject the occasional baby followed by the after-birth.There is no place for homosexuality Islam. There is no place for same sex marriage in Islam either. And there is definitely evidence of this ban in the Qur’an. Islam merely hates the sin – not the sinner. Islam definitely prohibits homosexuality. The conflict is not with the treatment of homosexuals. It is with whether or not a same gender relationship is acceptable for a practising Muslim. Just like it is not acceptable/permissible for a practicing Muslim to drink alcohol or smoker have pre marital sex, it is not permissible to engage in a same gender relationship. Muslims don’t deny the natural urge of people but have rules to prevent these urges from being fed.

    It seems pretty obvious to anyone who “uses their own brain” to recognise that without procreation there is no culture, society or the future of humanity. No society will be sustainable unless this basic and fundamental act of procreation is recognised. You may, because of your ideological persuasion and over stating of rights and equality beyond their healthy parameter , think all marriages and union are the same, but that doesn’t make it so. Gay marriage/union maybe the same as traditional marriage in their love but don’t tell me they are the same in their social value, cultural value and civilizational value. One union is essential the other is optional

    Homosexuality is an insult to women. Men and women get sexual and emotional satisfaction from each other. Without them the human race is not going to survive. This is the main reason why Islam is against homosexuality. It is nothing to do with equality. Muslim community, Imams and Muslim schools must teach that homosexuality is a sin and against the teaching of Islam. Multiculturalism is not about integration but about cultural plurality. It is not about separation but about respect and the deepening awareness of Unity in Diversity. Each culture will maintain its own intrinsic value and at the same time would be expected to contribute to the benefit of the whole society. Multiculturalism can accommodate diversity of all kinds – cultural, philosophical and religious – so that we can create a world without conflict and strife. Britain can assume the role of accommodation and concern for all peoples, for our planet and indeed for our survival.

    Why are we constantly hearing about an issue that effects less than 2% of the world’s population?!!! What about issues that effect everyone such as wealth inequality and dangerous banking? Obviously there’s nothing more important to society today than gay rights. Gay marriage is a subject being spoken about in America and France as well as here.( maybe in other countries as well) Now, This is not an important thing at the moment with everything else that is happening. I don’t see what difference it makes if you call it marriage or a civil partnership. It doesn’t mean that the relationship is going to last any longer or be a happier one.Why in this age should rights be bestowed because of birth? Where is the equality in this? Although, why “other grounds”, why not just “sexuality”? It’s not a swear word.Equal rights to marry a Catholic? Didn’t think so.

    Homosexuality doesn’t just go against the Bible, Quran, and whatever the Jewish book is called, It goes against Mother Nature as well. Here are some quotes from the koran regarding Homosexuals Homosexual acts are condemned as unnatural. (Will ye commit abomination such as no creature ever did before you?) 7:80-81 Male homosexual activities are condemned as unnatural. 26:165-6 Male homosexuals commit abominations and act senselessly. 27:54-55 Male homosexuals acts are condemned as unnatural. 29:28-29

    I can let most things go but the Gay lobby has gone too far with this nonsense… It is time to start fighting back, Our core values are being corrupted, How far before it’s too far, You answer that for yourselves.
    IA
    http://www.londonschoolofislamis.org.uk

  2. cptdoom says

    @ 1 – great snark. After all if only 2% of us are gay there’s no mathematical probability of ending reproduction when we treat LGBT as human beings.

    As for this original research Wayne Besen has already shown the magnet argument is plagiarized from Richard “hit the pillow with the tennis racket & pretend it’s your mother ” Cohen, one of the lead scholars of the “pray away the gay” movement.

  3. cptdoom says

    But bmiller, the posting was so completely nonsensical it could only be a Poe, right? I’d hate to have to point out how good Christians in this country could and do use similar arguments against those who choose the Islamic “lifestyle.”

  4. naturalcynic says

    (Will ye commit abomination such as no creature ever did before you?) 7:80-81 Male homosexual activities are condemned as unnatural. 26:165-6 Male homosexuals commit abominations and act senselessly. 27:54-55 Male homosexuals acts are condemned as unnatural. 29:28-29

    It seems surprising that Muhammed didn’t talk to goatherds and shepherds. He should have so he could have been apprised of what happens in nature.

  5. freehand says

    Well, sc_3c009ec47c8a092c2293d4a8ef6ed391, I am sorry that you find your lover’s body so disgusting. this may be at the root of your difficulties in treating women like adults, accepting your own sexual nature, or indeed, your dismaying inability to get any potential mate in even talking to you.

    It’s true that without procreation there would be no society, but it’s not really informative to say this – many people have discovered this for themselves. Did you know that treating your neighbors with respect is essential for a civil society? And loving one’s partner is necessary for true joy. Any educated person knows that loving truth more than certainty, knowledge more than ignorance, and the courage to be willing to pay any price to learn the truth are uncommon but admirable traits. Unfortunately, these sublime human characteristics are usually unreachable for authoritarian bullies and bigots.

    Your fears and need for certainty have made you …unpleasant.

  6. Trebuchet says

    He also discovered that Pi does not, in fact, equal 22/7 but is actually a transcendental number!

    I really keep wanting to apply Poe’s law to this, as well as to post number 1 in this thread. But I’m really afraid they are for real.

  7. noe1951 says

    Well, if he thinks that urine is voided by the vagina, he’s not as well educated as he’d like to believe. Geez, what a crock.

  8. eamick says

    You can also find plenty of species that engage in asexual reproduction (e.g., parthenogenesis) and hermaphroditic reproduction. And how exactly does a human construct like mathematics correlate to anything about biology? What a twit.

  9. says

    I asked myself why should a man be marrying a man and a woman marrying a woman, does it mean that there is no more female for a man to marry or there is no more male for a woman to marry?

    And I asked myself “Why would a lesbian want to marry a heterosexual man?” This lead me to its corollary, “Why does this heterosexual man want to marry a lesbian?”

    …and I came down to a lay man.

    …he said, knowingly. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

    “Except, of course, for the fact that we have observed homosexuality in hundreds of other species.”

    Stop clouding his argument with facts!

  10. says

    sc_3c009ec47c8a092c2293d4a8ef6ed391 “As a true Muslim and believer im condemning this… our religion is flexible enough but no space for such rubbish… there is a detailed chapters in our religion book THE NOBLE QUR’AN in which you will find the story of ” People of LOT” who were involve in the same sin “The Homosexuality”, they all were destroyed b’coz of homosexuality…. Anatomy of anus is not fit for sexual act…. biology. Anus is endodermal in origin so its wound never heals. So, it becomes quite unnatural to get into anus. People find it disgusting to insert and move about the male executive organ into the anus, which serves to discharge the faeces.
    It’s all right to insert the same organ into the vagina, which serves only to void urine, discharge menstrual blood and various other defilements, and eject the occasional baby followed by the after-birth.There is no place for homosexuality Islam. There is no place for same sex marriage in Islam either. And there is definitely evidence of this ban in the Qur’an. Islam merely hates the sin – not the sinner. Islam definitely prohibits homosexuality. The conflict is not with the treatment of homosexuals. It is with whether or not a same gender relationship is acceptable for a practising Muslim. Just like it is not acceptable/permissible for a practicing Muslim to drink alcohol or smoker have pre marital sex, it is not permissible to engage in a same gender relationship. Muslims don’t deny the natural urge of people but have rules to prevent these urges from being fed.”

     
    I can’t be the only one here who is more than turned on right now.

  11. escuerd says

    I doubt the author of comment #1 will even bother to read this, but they made me laugh a couple of times amidst all the facepalms, so I figure I’ll give it a reply.

    …the vagina, which serves only to void urine…

    That’d be the urethra.

    Anus is endodermal in origin so its wound never heals.

    lolwut? Did you learn that from some retarded da’i or other “scholar” who thinks that studying the Qur’an and da’wah rhetoric is a substitute for studying actual science? This sounds like some typical Muslim pseudoscientific garbage on par with Zakir Naik, Harun Yahya, or their rough Christian equivalent, Pat Robertson.

    Did you realize that much of the vaginal epithelium is also derived from the endoderm? And of course, endoderm-derived tissues can heal. This is leaving aside the fact that anal sex is not necessary for homosexuality (or even male homosexuality), and vice versa.

    People find it disgusting to insert and move about the male executive organ into the anus, which serves to discharge the faeces.

    Some people do. So what, though? The obvious solution is that such people shouldn’t do it. Also, LOL at “executive organ” and the explanation about the anus.

    It seems pretty obvious to anyone who “uses their own brain” to recognise that without procreation there is no culture, society or the future of humanity.

    Gay rights will not prevent straight people from procreating. It seems like you believe that if homosexuality weren’t expressly forbidden, straight men and women would all stop having sexual relationships with one another. Frankly, this sounds like the sort of thing that a closeted, self-hating gay person might believe. Thinking of all that hot gay sex they’d be having if only it weren’t forbidden by gaaawd.

    The conflict is not with the treatment of homosexuals. It is with whether or not a same gender relationship is acceptable for a practising Muslim.

    I’m calling pigshit on that one. In many Muslim majority countries, people who are discovered to be gay are brutally murdered. Some groups lure gay people on the Internet to murder them (this is not exclusive to Muslim-majority countries, but there seems to be a clear correlation). Same-sex relations are usually legally punishable by imprisonment at least for anyone in said countries. And even if this did only apply to practicing Muslims, the harsh punishment prescribed for apostasy (at least in the major Sunni schools of jurisprudence) doesn’t really make the situation as innocuous and multicultural-friendly as you make it sound. Of course, if you’re willing to condemn legal punishments for homosexuality an apostasy, then one could at least count you as honest in this matter.

    Homosexuality is an insult to women.

    ‘Isa H. Christ, what a stupid fucking statement. But coming from a religion that explicitly values the testimony of a woman half as much as that of a man, and details the circumstances where it’s permissible for a man to beat his wife, perhaps you have a skewed perspective on this.

    Men and women get sexual and emotional satisfaction from each other.

    You don’t think gay people of the same sex get sexual and emotional satisfaction from one another? That’s rhetorical, because it doesn’t really matter what you think. As a matter of fact, they can and do.

    It is strange, though, that you simultaneously seem to think that heterosexual relationships are so sexually and emotionally satisfying, but worry there won’t be enough procreation if gay people are not condemned and denounced by the rest of society.

    Without [men and women] the human race is not going to survive. This is the main reason why Islam is against homosexuality.

    That’s a rather stupid reason, so what does that say about Islam? Oh noes, we’re gonna run out of people! Breed more! We’re dangerously underpopulated!

    It is not about separation but about respect and the deepening awareness of Unity in Diversity.

    Your beliefs do not automatically merit respect. If you produce some evidence that they are a reflection of reality and not mere superstition, I would consider respecting them. But it’s quite clear from your arguments against equal rights for gay people that you aren’t sincere about respect.

    Homosexuality doesn’t just go against the Bible, Quran, and whatever the Jewish book is called, It goes against Mother Nature as well.

    I don’t really care what your holy books condemn (the primary Jewish one is called the Torah, for the record). As for “Mother Nature”, that’s a doubly stupid argument. Homosexuality is quite common in nature, and even if it weren’t that would have no bearing on whether it was immoral. Confusing natural with good is known as the naturalistic fallacy, and it should be obvious to anyone what’s wrong with it with just a moment’s thought (but if you need it spelled out for you, I would be willing to oblige).

    Why are we constantly hearing about an issue that effects less than 2% of the world’s population?!!! What about issues that effect everyone such as wealth inequality and dangerous banking? Obviously there’s nothing more important to society today than gay rights.

    Why are you talking about it if it’s such a minor issue? This is a stupid and disingenuous line of argument. You can apply it to almost anything “Why are we worrying about subject X when unrelated subject Y is so much more important?” *gag*

    It’s possible for people to pay attention to more than one issue. If you don’t think a certain issue is important, then focus on the ones that you think are. This issue is salient right now because many straight people’s attitudes are changing as they realize that this group that is condemned and denied equal rights includes people that they know and love, and isn’t just some faceless abstraction.

    Incidentally, I’m not certain it’s “less than 2%” of the world’s population, but it’s notoriously hard to get good figures on the percentage of people who are gay. But even if that were the case, it again contradicts your moronic hand-wringing about not having enough people for societal replacement. Even if it were on the order of 2%, that’s still quite a few people.

    Now, This is not an important thing at the moment with everything else that is happening.

    There’s always other stuff happening. What’s not important to you can be quite important to the lives of people it affects.

    I don’t see what difference it makes if you call it marriage or a civil partnership. It doesn’t mean that the relationship is going to last any longer or be a happier one.

    This topic has been beaten to death, but basically it comes down to having an equal legal status (in practice, civil unions don’t tend to have this, contrary to the rhetoric). Even if they did, it seems like a redundancy to have two categories that are equivalent in all but name, just to make sure that one group knows that their relationships are of lesser value than those of another. And if you are about to go on about the “value to society” of having children, then it’s curious that these arguments never seem to be applied to elderly couples, or ones that are known to be infertile. It only seems to come up when it comes to gay people, almost as if it were a post-hoc justification for plain old animus. Gee, imagine that.

  12. dingojack says

    Ed – “Chibuihem Amalaha, a chemical engineering grad student…” [emphasis mine]

    Well, there’s yer problem! :)

    escuerd – “Confusing natural with good is known as the naturalistic fallacy, … if you need it spelled out for you, I would be willing to oblige….””

    Allow me.

    The Asian/Indian tree Strychnos nux-vomica is completely natural, so it’s fruits must be good to eat.
    Bon appetit! (You first).

    Dingo

  13. C. M. says

    There is a universal theme in Islam and Christianity: apartheid, homicide, and genocide of gay people. Africa is a homophobic culture, where ignorance, superstition, bias, prejudice, and discrimination against gays lead to murder. Those whose mindset is transfixed in the Dark Ages tend to oppose marriage equality. What is the rationale for straight marriage, when we see divorce, adultery, over population, domestic violence?

  14. steffp says

    @ sc_3c009ec47c8a092c2293d4a8ef6ed391, #1

    What escuerd said. Just a little addition:
    sc_etc’s post is in fine Da’wah style – the “good message”, the propagandist way to impress unbelievers (aka Islam for dummies). In fact he has no right whatsoever to take part in a discussion about gay marriage. All he could rightfully say is: “it’s forbidden, and we whip, incarcerate, fine and execute homosexuals. Of course they can’t marry”.
    Islam does not only – in a somehow spiritual way – condemn homosexuality, it demands corporate punishment of gay activity. There is one predominantly Muslim country only, where homosexual acts are NOT criminalized – Indonesia, with the exception of Aceh (lashings and stoning to death for homosexual acts).
    The only European region where homosexuality is regarded a crime is the Turkish-occupied North of Cyprus.
    See the list of shame here

  15. Quantum Mechanic says

    Oh my, am I allowed to apply my expansive knowledge of physics, mathematics, and engineering to use unrelated physical phenomena in bad analogies? Let’s give it a try!

    They will repel, that is, they will push away themselves showing that a man should not attract a man. If you bring two South Poles together you find that the two South Poles will not attract indicating that same sex marriage should not hold. A female should not attract a female as South Pole of a magnet does not attract the South Pole of a magnet.

    Hmm… but gravitational charges of the same sign DO attract. Looks like the universe approves of homosexuality in at least SOME circumstances, yes?

    Commutativity in mathematics is simply the arrangement of numbers or arrangement of letters in which the way you arrange them don’t matter. [...] A + B reacted, they interchanged and gave us B + A showing that commutativity obeys that a man should not marry a man and a woman should not marry a woman.

    But who cares about addition! That’s boring. Now, multiplication… That’s a subject any staunch opponent of te’ dread ghey will uphold as of absolutely VITAL importance! So let’s look at multiplication of matrices. Alas, for matrices, A*B is only SOMETIMES equal to B*A. Worse yet, it is often not possible, depending on how the matrices are built. However, A*A^T is ALWAYS equal to A*A^T, and B*B^T is always equal to B*B^T.

    Instead, the negative ion is attracted to positive electrodes and why is it that the negative is attracted to the positive? It is because they are not the same. Likewise a man cannot be attracted to a man as negative ion is not attracted to the negative electrode instead negative ion is attracted to the positive electrode. That is what electrolysis is showing us that gay marriage is wrong in the area of chemistry.

    Neglecting nuclear chemistry? For shame! What about mixing solutions of enriched uranyl nitrate? Obviously, not much of a reaction will happen until you have more than a certain density of fissile mass in one spot. Once you ditch enough of the U238 and that nagging nitric acid solution, a TRULY hot time will be had by all!

    Trebuchet:

    He also discovered that Pi does not, in fact, equal 22/7 but is actually a transcendental number!

    Alas, I’m afraid the subject is irrational.

    I really keep wanting to apply Poe’s law to this[...]. But I’m really afraid they are for real.

    As much as I wish they were wholly imaginary, their angle’s pretty easy to spot… I fear the gentleman has a complex.

  16. dingojack says

    Quantum Mechanic – Ah yes but same-sex attraction << than repulsion.* QED!

    Surely simply rearranging terms should work with logic too. Let’s see:

    ‘I say what I mean’ (A=B) should be exactly equivalent to ‘I mean what I say’ (B=A)
    ‘I like what I get’ = ‘I get what I like’
    ‘I see what I eat’ = ‘I eat what I see’
    “I breathe when I sleep’ = ”I sleep when I breathe’
    right?
    @@

    Dingo
    ——-
    * even though attraction works over much longer distances

  17. colnago80 says

    Re Quantum Mechanic @ #18

    Until recently, it was thought that anti-particles would not have negative mass because of the TCP theorem.

  18. roggg says

    I’m conflicted…Under addition, commutativity proves gay marriage is evil, but under subtraction, it proves only gay marriage can be permitted. I say we appeal to euclidean geometry for the tie breaker.

  19. Nomad says

    I’m astounded that this gomer thinks “if you mix an acid with a base it tends to react violently” means mixing a male with a female is the only allowable thing to do. My counter example is really the same thing, only I take the rational interpretation. If you mix matter with anti matter, it blows up, the matter and anti matter annihilating each other in a burst of energy. Surely this proves that you should never mix the genders, or else they risk destroying each other.

    Also I have to comment on how adorable it is that there’s something about him posted on a bulletin board at his school, and that he thinks this shows that he’s getting recognition for his accomplishments. Perhaps it’s a peer reviewed bulletin board?

  20. Nomad says

    Sorry, one other thing. I missed the nugget of solid gold in that first wall of text comment. In the bit where he says the vagina doesn’t emit feces, only urine, in listing the other things that come from the vagina, he says that vaginas:

    eject the occasional baby

    Baby ejection!

    It’s almost cute that he’s confused about where women pee from. I remember when I was a little kid and that was a bit of a mystery to me too. I concluded that since they sat down to pee, it probably came from their butt. It’s a little less cute that someone who thinks he’s in a position to lecture the world on how to treat both men and women doesn’t understand it any better.

    Yep, apparently this whole Koran as a science text thing doesn’t quite work out in practice here either.

  21. birgerjohansson says

    Fetuses and urine leaving the body from the same orfice?

    I just realised; He thinks women are marsupials!
    This is better than I thought!

  22. dingojack says

    Nomad – I’m a little worried that he thinks vaginas ‘eject* the occasional baby’. What does he think happens to the majority of babies that don’t get ‘ejected’?
    Inquiring minds….
    Dingo
    ——–
    * just like an early-80′s Betamax VCR, no doubt

  23. Tony! The Immorally Inferior Queer Shoop! says

    Well I thought for a split second that sc-mess o’numbers was jerkin our chain.

    Uh uh.

    The FB page at his nym puts the lie to that.
    He really is that stupid.

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