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Kessler to Run for County Sheriff

Mark Kessler, the deranged extremist who is police chief of Gilberton, Pennsylvania for another few days at least, is anticipating being fired and has launched a write-in campaign for himself on the November ballot to be the sheriff of Schuylkill County. His Facebook page, which is really, really scary, makes the announcement:

we need a lot of volunteers, people who are willing to work polling stations all over Schuylkill county, November 5th, to assist in asking voters to write in MARK KESSLER for Schuylkill county SHERIFF,

This wont be easy, a write in campaign in almost impossible, but we hope all true patriots will come assist and turn the tide of this thuggery machine that has been destroying our constitution for decades & decades,

PLEASE HELP ELECT MARK KESSLER FOR SCHUYLKILL COUNTY SHERIFF NOVEMBER 5TH 2013

And Kessler adds his own brand of pseudo-macho idiocy:

when your back is against the wall, when the odds are almost impossible to overcome, that my friends is when we the people finally stand up and say , ENOUGH! so all I can say is this!, BRING IT YOU PACK OF SCUM SUCKING SHIT BAG POLITICIANS, i’m not politically correct , damn proud of that I must say! I don’t come with a smile and a bag of bullshit every four or two years, NEVER HAVE NEVER WILL!, I don’t need to suck the so called elected elites ass cracks to run for anything, or get the stamp of approval from the so called elected elites! I’m an AMERICAN, nothing more nothing less, I love my country, I honor our military who honor their oath, I honor all American Patriots, and all those who shed their blood of gave the ultimate sacrifice defending freedom whether on the field of battle or not! as for you scum sucking politicians from the left & right, WE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE COMING AND YES WE ARE PISSED OFF! so NOVEMBER 5TH 2013 WRITE IN MARK KESSLER FOR SCHUYLKILL COUNTY SHERIFF, one true american patriot! and lets give this CURRENT thuggery regime here in Schuylkill county & across the nation THE BOOT!

Such a brave hero. And I know this is rude and all, but when I see this picture of Kessler and his followers:

kessler

I want to say the same thing to them that I want to say to men who drive Hummers: Sorry ’bout your penis.

Comments

  1. tbp1 says

    I want to say the same thing to them that I want to say to men who drive Hummers: Sorry ’bout your penis.

    As I always say, “Nothing says ‘screw the future generations’ like commuting 40 miles each way to work day alone in a Hummer.”

  2. Chiroptera says

    He’s accusing other people of “thuggery”? He and his followers are the ones going around armed!

  3. howardhershey says

    Well, everyone got the message about the black t-shirt, but the standout in white didn’t have one and couldn’t afford to buy a new one. Spent all his money on guns and ammo to fend off the New World Order and their black helicopters.

  4. Synfandel says

    we need a lot of volunteers, people who are willing to work polling stations all over Schuylkill county, November 5th, to assist in asking voters to write in MARK KESSLER for Schuylkill county SHERIFF

    Are volunteers allowed to try to influence voters at the polling stations? Where I live that’s illegal.

  5. says

    “He’s accusing other people of “thuggery”? He and his followers are the ones going around armed!”

    This is surprising? Right-wing bullies always see themselves as the victims. That’s how they shut down those little voices inside their heads telling them what assholes they are. And the more dickish they behave, the greater the sense of persecution needed to rationalize it.

  6. eamick says

    Are volunteers allowed to try to influence voters at the polling stations? Where I live that’s illegal.

    Most places allow electioneering near the polling places, say, at least 100 ft. away. I seriously doubt even he means right at the voting machines.

  7. F [is for failure to emerge] says

    I wonder what any of that has to do with being sheriff, or what being sheriff has to do with defending the Constitution. Or what part of the Constitution is being destroyed, and what the “thuggery machine” is thugging up in his estimation.

  8. Synfandel says

    Are volunteers allowed to try to influence voters at the polling stations? Where I live that’s illegal.

    Most places allow electioneering near the polling places, say, at least 100 ft. away. I seriously doubt even he means right at the voting machines.

    Interesting. In the socialist country to your north, we don’t allow any active campaigning of any kind on election day. The most a candidate’s campaign is allowed to do on election day is offer rides to identified supporters to get the vote out. I suppose that policy would run up against constitutional freedom of expression rights in the US.

  9. says

    F [is for failure to emerge], he defends all of the Constitution (except the 14th Amendment), and the 2nd Amendment is being destroyed by the recent, mild, gun control bill that didn’t pass Congress (which the ATF’s jackbooted thugs are gearing up to enforce). Obviously.

  10. says

    “this thuggery machine that has been destroying our constitution for decades & decades, ”

    How long does it take to destroy a simple constitution? They’re not that big.

  11. bushrat says

    Yes, nothing says, “Combating Thuggery” or “Upholding the Constitution” like a bunch of semi-literate, gun-toting hillbillies trying to intimidate everyone into supporting them. There might be enough of the inbred idiots in that picture to form one complete set of teeth.

  12. Chiroptera says

    Synfandel, #12: I suppose that policy would run up against constitutional freedom of expression rights in the US.

    Is that a surprise? Here in the US, “freedom of expression” also means that rich people can pour as much money into the campaigns as necessary to obscure actual facts and confuse the electorate.

    I think it’s just a matter of time before “freedom of expression” means rich people can buy the voting machines so that your vote is already pre-cast for their preferred candidate.

  13. brandondavis says

    And who’s that guy with the white trash-doo (bald head plus goatee)? James Yaeger, fellow complete nutjob and danger to society.

  14. says

    “I don’t come with a smile and a bag of bullshit every four or two years….”

    Indeed. He comes with a bag of bullshit to work every day. |Don’t know about the smile.

  15. exdrone says

    In the photo, the sixth guy from the right looks like he’s holding (as if displaying an erection) a heavy machine gun that would be the pride of a technical vehicle in Libya or Syria. If penis compensation is relative, then this bubba should be moved to the top of the prosthetic waiting list.

  16. Erk12 says

    I don’t need to suck the so called elected elites ass cracks to run for anything, or get the stamp of approval from the so called elected elites!

    PLEASE HELP ELECT MARK KESSLER FOR SCHUYLKILL COUNTY SHERIFF NOVEMBER 5TH 2013

    *sigh*

  17. lochaber says

    exdrone> I think it’s some sort of large caliber sniper rifle, perhaps some variant of the barrett 50 cal? (I’m not very good with weapon ID). – the guy right next to him, twixt the ‘K’ and ‘E’ looks to be carrying about the same thing (the flash suppressor looks more typical of the barret).

    anyways, yet another reason why voting for law enforcement officers is not a very good idea…

  18. says

    I think it’s some sort of large caliber sniper rifle, perhaps some variant of the barrett 50 cal?

    Looks like a model 84 Barrett that has been blinged up by someone with no taste or sense. He should have spent that money on optics instead of that cheesy muzzle brake (the Barret’s stock brake is fine)

  19. says

    I do like the way that the guys with the .50BMGs are rocked back, holding the guns in their groins like they are massive erections, and they’re knocking them together like they’re duelling with their metaphorical penises. Totally no homoerotic undertones going on there, nooooooooo nooooooo noooooo…

  20. says

    I wonder if Herr Kolonel Kessler has read the oath of office that the sheriff is required to take?

    Not that lying, fucking asshole piece-of-shit sociopaths don’t already run a lot of police departments of one sort or other, just sayin’.

  21. brandondavis says

    FWIW, the one Kessler is holding is a Barrett M82 while the guy to his right is holding a Bushmaster 50BMG – both are sucktacular precision rifles.

  22. reasonbe says

    I’ve a friend who traded in his Hummer for a Ford Raptor pick-up. He regularly got flipped off when driving his Hummer. In his pick-up, which gets exactly the same mileage, he never gets flipped off.

  23. says

    a Bushmaster 50BMG

    Aaaahaahahahahaaa! I hadn’t realized Bushmaster had entered the .50 cal market with another POS based on an AR-15 action. It’s just the bloody worst design, ever, and I bet it scales perfectly to hyper-powered rounds. Not.

  24. says

    I’ve a friend who traded in his Hummer for a Ford Raptor pick-up. He regularly got flipped off when driving his Hummer. In his pick-up, which gets exactly the same mileage, he never gets flipped off.

    Most people probably don’t realize that pick-ups are worse offenders than SUVs when it comes to guzzling gas and being deadly to other motorists. And like SUVs, they rarely get used for their designed purpose. Also, the profit margins are massive, which means that 1) people are paying a huge premium to make themselves look like rugged working men, and 2) car companies will fight to the last to keep that market.

    But it’s all okay, because AMERICA.

  25. cgilder says

    I admit, I hate guns. I don’t like being around them, I think they’re a waste of metal and engineering. And yet, even I know that you’re always supposed to point your weapons at the ground unless you are aiming at something. I see a few guys on the left displaying their ridiculous penis-substitutes without directly endangering their (assumed) friends. Those other idiots on the right need to exchange those guns for safety scissors before someone dies.

  26. brandondavis says

    Technically, the term is “point in a safe direction.” Down isn’t always safe, then again these kinds of guys are why I really dislike a huge part of the gun culture in the States. They make up this weird mix of completely irrational people who are obsessed with guns but ironically don’t take them seriously or treat them like a professional. I suspect their crazy paranoia combined with dim wit make for a powerful “gun identity” issue for them that’s reinforced by unbridled emotion. Personally, I’m a retired Army veteran and very active in the competitive shooting community, and I can say that the majority of the folks I shoot with abhor nutjobs like Kessler and Yaeger. If anything, they make things very difficult for us and sadly become the public face for a sport we take very seriously.

  27. lorn says

    I hope he gets, remains, out of any official office. He strikes me as the sort who are so hung up on pushing their rights that they are always on the verge of crossing the line of legality, becoming a convicted felon, and losing all their right to keep their guns. I suspect that there is an unconscious desire to recreate the Dukes of Hazard story line. Kessler is one ragged out car, a confederate flag, and a pair of daisy dukes away from living out his secret fantasy.

    I will not declare his write-in candidacy won’t work. It is virtually impossible to underestimate the intelligence of the citizenry. I have a long record of assuming the people would know better. Dating back to the election of a B-movie actor whose main roles involve shilling for cigarettes, and a supporting role for very talented chimpanzee.

    I would like to think Kessler hasn’t a shot but somewhere between Ronnie and a certain former cheerleader becoming president I lost my faith in the ability of the people to see through the BS and PR.

  28. says

    In case anyone has forgotten, Kessler shot himself in the hand when trying to intervene, rightly or wrongly, in a bar fight.

    Gun safety is for liberal pussies.

  29. says

    Marcus Ranum “Aaaahaahahahahaaa! I hadn’t realized Bushmaster had entered the .50 cal market with another POS based on an AR-15 action”
    A cursory Googling shows it to be bolt action (with the action on the left, because left-handers are apparently taking over. Either that or left-side action was cheaper to engineer…).

    “It’s just the bloody worst design, ever…”
    It’s not to shoot. Think of the modern AR15 derivatives as Barbies. See all those rails? Those are for Barbie’s Barbie-brand accessories. Four rails on the front and one on top and two (or more) available barrel lengths and several different kinds of magazines and multiple flash eliminator options and standard or collapsible rear stock! It’s the Barbie’s Dream Castle of guns.

    brandondavis ” If anything, they make things very difficult for us and sadly become the public face for a sport we take very seriously.”
    That’s hippie speak, hippie!

  30. birgerjohansson says

    We Europeans remember this 1980s Brit TV series about helping parachuded allied fliers escape to safety. Guess what the SS standartenfuhrer was named?

  31. birgerjohansson says

    …and he even got a follow-up Tv series of his own (nazis in Paraguay etc.), named “Kessler”!

  32. says

    I misread the headline and I think I much prefer the misreading. A Kessel Run for Sheriff would be a rather entertaining way to fill the position, and would also mean we’ve invented starships that can do it in 12 parsecs.

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