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Sep 13 2013

Klingenschmitt ‘Discerns’ Atheist ‘Spirits’

Gordon Klingenschmitt declared on his “show” that atheists are terrible people, every single one of us. Because the Bible says so. Oh, Gordon…are you flirting with me?

19 comments

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  1. 1
    Lofty

    Yes I am a terrible person. To god fearing bible bashers that is. Next question?

  2. 2
    dingojack

    So I’m pocessed by some kind of demon, eh Fruity? OOOKAY.
    So what’s your excuse for being petulant and insubordinate then?
    Dingo

  3. 3
    Curt Cameron

    Anytime you see or hear someone quote Psalms 14:1 at you (“The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God”), you should always ask them to quote the rest of the verse:

    “They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.”

    You can then ask that person if he thinks that you are incapable of doing anything good and that you’re a terrible person in every respect, because that’s what they were just quoting at you. With any decent person, that should make him think. Of course it wouldn’t work with Klingenschmitt.

  4. 4
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    Its not so much a possession as it is a timeshare. Me and my demons have an amicable arrangement, it makes everyone happy.

  5. 5
    anubisprime

    Me and my demons are hungry for baby bacon, followed by Christian fricassee…hmmmmmm!!!…drool!

  6. 6
    petemoulton

    I’m proud to be on Klingenschmitt’s shit list!

  7. 7
    caseloweraz

    Atheist spirts? I’ve got some atheist spirits right here. Let’s see, there’s a bottle of Glenmorangie, two Macallans, and one of Oban.

    Sláinte mhath!

  8. 8
    dogmeat

    Atheist complainer? What are they (or we?) complaining about?

    So by definition atheists can do no good because your magic book says so. Gotcha.

  9. 9
    busterggi

    “ruled by a demon” – so much for free will then.

  10. 10
    namowal

    I wonder if this “atheists can do no good” thing can get me out of jury duty?

  11. 11
    grumpyoldfart

    I have to laugh at the way he constantly rolls his eyes heavenwards as he speaks. He really does think his god is cheering him on – a brave little soldier in the army of the lord.

  12. 12
    John Pieret

    I keep trying to get my demon to make a porno movie (the way Russell Moore says they do) with me as the star. But I’m still sleeping alone. I think I got a defective demon.

  13. 13
    Modusoperandi

    Curt Cameron “Anytime you see or hear someone quote Psalms 14:1 at you (‘The fool hath said in his heart, there is no God’), you should always ask them to quote the rest of the verse:
    ‘They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.’”

    But I have done abominable works. Look at these. And with just ten minutes of works a day. I’ve got the tightest abominables you’ve ever seen! Look at my six-pack!

  14. 14
    exdrone

    Oh, Gordon. Hate the spirit, not the vessel.

  15. 15
    zero6ix

    My demon showed up on a CT scan and was surgically removed. Still an atheist, but now I’m demon free. Check and mate.

  16. 16
    Eamon Knight

    Dunno about atheist spirits, but I’ve drank a fair amount of pretty demonic-looking beer over the years. (Maudite, Trois Pistoles, Arrogant Bastard…..)

  17. 17
    dogmeat

    My demon showed up on a CT scan and was surgically removed. Still an atheist, but now I’m demon free. Check and mate.

    That’s because the atheist doctor who took out the demon put it back in. He and I were laughing about it at the last baby sacrifice buffet.

  18. 18
    RainbowSlushie^.^

    I’m pretty sure religion is an invention of “demons” (who are robotic drones) so I don’t follow this guy. I do suffer from traumatic possession/abduction issues, but it has nothing to do with Christ, Satan, Allah, or the like. I wish people like this clown in the video wouldn’t just casually toss around the term possession, in a hate speech context like he did; there are people with seriously traumatic psychological issues and equating all atheists from suffering from those issues does a disservice to people who do suffer from possession/abduction trauma (whatever it’s origin) and also a huge disservice to us as Atheists due to the bigotry it perpetrates =(

  19. 19
    RainbowSlushie^.^

    That’s because the atheist doctor who took out the demon put it back in. He and I were laughing about it at the last baby sacrifice buffet.

    Hahahhaa. Did you know about the double top secret Illuminati receptacle for aborted babies that all Atheist doctors keep when they put demons into us and remove them? I heard the dead babies are being made into a secret soylent green soup to feed the planet in a sustainable way! =)

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