Larson’s Three Little Con Girls Hit England

Fake “exorcist” and con man Bob Larson’s current meal tickets, his teenage daughter and her two friends that he markets as the Charlie’s Angels of exorcism, are hitting England on their world tour of nonsense. And they’re blathering on about Harry Potter books and sexually transmitted demons.

Brynne Larson, 18, and sisters Tess and Savannah Scherkenback, aged 18 and 21, are determined to rescue London’s youngsters from evil spirits, which they say they are inviting to possess them by reciting the spells in the Harry Potter books.

The threesome, from Arizona, believe the spells in J.K. Rowling’s best-selling fantasy series are real, and dangerous.

In fact, they see Britain as a hotbed of occult activity whose origins go back to pagan times.

Savannah explains: ‘It has been centuries in the making, but I believe it came to a pinnacle with the Harry Potter books.’

‘The spells you are reading about are not made up,’ adds Tess. ‘They are real and come from witchcraft.’

Inspired by their religious faith, the young women believe loose morals are a prime cause of demonic possession, and that promiscuity can transmit ‘sexually transmitted demons’ in the same way as physical infections.

Gosh, there seems to be something missing from those claims. Oh, I know — evidence. Bob Larson is a fraud, a pure con man peddling nonsense to the credulous.

38 comments on this post.
  1. otrame:

    Okay, so real witches use bad Latin for their spells? And that bad Latin actually causes changes in the real world? I mean other than making one woman very, very rich?

    Who knew?

  2. democommie:

    “sexually transmitted demons.”

    One word. Penicillin.

  3. lldayo:

    I sent out millions of demons for years before my vasectomy.

  4. cuervodecuero:

    I’m glad the teenagers are getting out and about.

    If they haven’t been trained as cynical young conwomen but are truly fogged up by living in a bubble filled with Larson gas, now that they’re being exposed to a big wide world, the challenges just might pump some oxygen into their bloodstreams.

    It’s too easy to speculate that living the constrained good young Christian straitjacket lives women have in many of the sects, this role of Christian Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Twilistian celebrity is one of the rare releases of passion they’re allowed, so they’re going for it with gusto.

    The suspicion the father is using their ‘safe’ sexuality as recruit bait for his ’cause’ is also on my mean spirited thinking list.

  5. raven:

    US fundie xianity has a lot of similarities to WWE, the modern incarnation of theater wresting. Or Harry Potter books for that matter.

    Hard to believe very many of them actually believe it as opposed to looking at it as a strange form of entertainment.

  6. =8)-DX:

    “sexually transmitted demon”
    That would be succubuses. Hey wait: I’m a card-carying atheist, where’s mine!

  7. zero6ix:

    Why doesn’t England just magic these kids back to their desert? They have real spells don’t they?

  8. montanto:

    Well all I can say it’s a good thing that none of those spells work without a wand.

  9. d.c.wilson:

    This has reality TV written all over it. They can do an entire episode of the three girls wandering around the streets of London asking for directions to Diagon Alley.

  10. MikeMa:

    Wee bit skeptical that these girls aren’t in on the con. At their age, unless severely restrained from normal human contact, they must have some idea that pap Larson is a crook. Certainly the sister’s parent(s) must. Check the bank accounts.

  11. DaveL:

    I’m struck with profound sadness that three children could be raised to young adulthood and still believe that a little Apothecary’s Latin is literal magic just because somebody told them so.

  12. Randomfactor:

    “sexually transmitted demons.”

    Otherwise known as “children.”

  13. chisaihana5219:

    Are they really saying that J.K. Rowling didn’t make this stuff up? That she used real existing spells? Isn’t that like accusing the author of plagarism? Can she sue them for libel? Wait ’til the folks in the Harry Potter Alliance get a hold of this. They will picket these con artists wherever they go.

  14. raven:

    I’m struck with profound sadness that three children could be raised to young adulthood …

    I wouldn’t bother.

    Probably they know it is all a con.

    Those three young adults are also rich young adults. It’s a lot of money for doing nothing but pretending to exorcize imaginary demons.

    The children of fundie xian leaders rarely publicly defect. Why would they? They are rich for life without doing anything most would call productive work.

    The money can be considerable. Robertson is a billionaire. Glenn Beck made ca. $100 million in a few years. A lot of them have tens or hundreds of millions of dollars. Even Ray Comfort, one of the most unconvincing of the frauds is doing well.

    PS: There is a bright side to all this. Most of the money the fundies donate to their Huttoid xian leaders is simply wasted. Or rather supports makers of luxury goods, mansions, jets, and fast cars. And the servants. They need to eat too.

  15. daved:

    Rowling has been quite clear that most of the spells in the Potter books were things she made up. I guess she borrowed a few of the others, like 10% of them, but changed them. Even if they were all “real,” of course, it would make no difference, but I think we should give her credit for writing her own material.

  16. eric:

    This definitely calls for a Sanal Edamaruku-like performance. We need to get these three on stage, doing their exorcism thing on a skeptic as they speak Potter-latin.

  17. Trebuchet:

    That would be succubuses. Hey wait: I’m a card-carying atheist, where’s mine!

    Here ya go: http://www.gocomics.com/pibgorn/2013/09/10

    Aaah, Drusilla!

  18. Jefferson Cox-grubbs:

    What con? Dragon Con? PAX? Comic Con? Are they lovely d20 ladies?~<3

    Oh…… that kind of con.

    :[

  19. Abdul Alhazred:

    Never mind Harry Potter, what about Shakespeare?

    That “eye of newt, and toe of frog” business in Macbeth leads teenagers to the occult. ;)

  20. Raging Bee:

    So every time I call these people “ridiculous,” I’m actually reciting a demonic spell. Who knew?

    And why do I get the feeling these idiots would gladly tear down every stone circle, standing stone, holy well, grotto, historic site, and even early church that has any connection to England’s Pagan past? There’s a lot of those things all over the Britisn Isles, and a lot of quircky and colorful local customs (some since incorporated into Christian observances) that also have (documented or alleged) “pagan” origins. Would these morons try to outlaw all of them?

    I’ll give up my morris-dance sticks when they pry them from my cold, dead, local-ale-soaked fingers!

  21. Raging Bee:

    @17: “…begot of nothing…but vain fantasy…of bizarre girl-on-girl action?” That kinda sums up all this demonic-posession scamming.

  22. Gretchen:

    Inspired by their religious faith, the young women believe loose morals are a prime cause of demonic possession, and that promiscuity can transmit ‘sexually transmitted demons’ in the same way as physical infections.

    That’s fascinating.

    So, being demon-possessed causes you to believe, say, and do bad things, right?

    But apparently having loose morals– believing, saying, and doing bad things– also causes you to become demon-possessed in the first place.

    So you’re perfectly capable of being immoral on your own, without having yet been infected with demons. If that’s the case….what does the demon do, exactly? What is its purpose? Does it shift your immorality into overdrive? Does it push you over from merely morally loose to completely untied?

    And are you responsible only for those immoral actions that led to your becoming demon-possessed, but nothing that you think, say, or do after the demon is inside you?

  23. eric:

    I was going to modify these lyrics to make it more appropriate to the situation..then I realized they are already pretty much spot on…

    Three little maids from school are we
    Pert as a school-girl well can be
    Filled to the brim with girlish glee
    Three little maids from school

    Everything is a source of fun
    Nobody’s safe, for we care for none
    Life is a joke that’s just begun
    Three little maids from school

    Three little maids who, all unwary
    Come from a ladies’ seminary
    Freed from its genius tutelary
    Three little maids from school
    Three little maids from school

  24. eric:

    Gretchen, I’m sure all your questions will be answered…if you purchase a ticket to their next revival for a mere $99.95.

  25. matty1:

    Just wait till they find out about Dumbledore…

  26. blf:

    Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series must then cause a complete meltdown…

  27. arakasi:

    They’re going after the wrong British author. Quick – Somebody put some Pratchett in front of them and blow their minds.

  28. freehand:

    arakasi: They’re going after the wrong British author. Quick – Somebody put some Pratchett in front of them and blow their minds.

    I have noticed that they tend to ignore actual books. I suspect they didn’t respond to Harry Potter until they saw the first movies come out. (There are a couple of Diskworld movies, but they weren’t Hollywood blockbusters (BBC?)

    I don’t think they have the knowledge, attention span, or intelligence to read a good science fiction book and get outraged at it. Once my parents started letting me actually read, I was lost. Jubal Harshaw had things to say to a 13 year-old baby Baptist. Luckily I was already practiced in keeping my thoughts to myself. Later. more adult books, had more mature dangerous thoughts, but once you stop feeling guilty for Jesus the rest are pretty easy.

    Real witches doing magic are safer than questions. Accusing someone of being a straw wizard is safer than accusing him of being a sane and happy atheist who worships nothing. Cartoons are exciting. Grown ups are frightening.

  29. exdrone:

    loose morals are a prime cause of demonic possession

    No, it only sounds that way when you’re doing it right.

  30. exdrone:

    Looking at the linked photo, I can’t help wonder why they missed the chance to strike the famous Charlie’s Angels silhouette pose using crucifixes instead of pistols. If you’re going to be silly and kitschy, then go all the way.

  31. matty1:

    I have an uncle who incidentally is an evangelical Christian, he got a warning about demonic Harry Potter in an email asked where it came from then contacted that person. Anyway he eventually traced the source to a newsletter calling on Christians to be less gullible or they’d end up falling for absurd ideas like Harry Potter teaching magic.

  32. tacitus:

    LOL I just looked at the comments section of the original article at the Daily Mail, and the comments in favor of Beggin’ Bob Larson has been heavily downvoted (and vice versa for those speaking out against him).

    In the UK, when you’ve lost even the Daily Mail readers, you should know you’re in trouble.

  33. kantalope:

    I think my wand doesn’t work because I can’t find any unicorn/dragon/phoenix parts for the core.

    Can one of you British types stop by Diagon Alley for me and send me a real wand? I can reimburse you for shipping and cost + a bonus but I will need to verify that it works first.

    In the mean time – I’m practicing: Wingardium Leviosa…Wingardium Leviosa…Wingardium Leviosa…

    Harry Potter real /snort

  34. timgueguen:

    How about having them meet up with Alan Moore? He\d probably scare the crap out of them.

  35. Nick Gotts:

    kantalope@33,

    I’m in Britain, but unfortunately I seem to have been turned into a frog, and it’s too far to hop. I’ll get back to you once I’ve found a princess willing to kiss me.

  36. Moggie:

    It’s easy to joke about this, but what these people are doing goes beyond conning rubes out of money. As exorcists, they’re preying on people who in many cases are mentally ill, and need evidence-based treatment, not crucifixes and chanting. Also, let’s not forget that people labelled as “possessed” have been murdered. That’s common in parts of Africa, but it has happened on a smaller scale here in the UK too. So, I’m disinclined to treat the Larsons as a joke. I think they’re malignant and dangerous, and I wish we could deny them entry.

  37. Max Hannan:

    I don’t know if they’re planning to come up to Scotland, but here in Glasgow the street preachers (especially the loud fundamentalists) regularly get harangued by the general public. So I don’t fancy the Larsons’ chances all that much….

  38. kantalope:

    Nick, I do hope you get better. Luckily, as I’ve noticed from TV, there seem to be lots of Princes and Princesses prancing around London of late. I’m sure you can get some smoochies.

    Pro Tip: after you change back. Breath Mints (and strong ones too). Bug breath is hard to cover up.

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