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Sep 06 2013

Mefferd: God Will Shoot Arrows At Us

Janet Mefferd brought the equally bigoted and irrational Peter LaBarbera on her radio show this week and they delivered the usual diatribe about how God is going to punish us because we’re not punishing gay people enough. In fact, he apparently has a bow and arrow aimed at us right this minute.

After reading an excerpt of Justice Antonin Scalia’s dissent in the Windsor decision, Mefferd said that it is only a matter of time before the Supreme Court declares “gay marriage a constitutional right,” which she believes will bring about divine wrath: “And every single Founding Father will flip in his grave and God in his Heaven will still have that arrow, that bow and arrow pointed at us, that Jonathan Edwards talked about in ‘Sinners in the hands of an Angry God,’ holding the bow and arrow, holding back His wrath, but only for a time.”

Wait, isn’t that Cupid that uses a bow and arrow?

30 comments

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  1. 1
    Synfandel

    When I write software that doesn’t behave the way I intended it to, I don’t shoot arrows at it; I fix it. God, apparently, isn’t quite that mature.

  2. 2
    holytape

    Let’s see who would win this war…..

    God’s army – Angels with flaming swords, four horsemen and a bunch of arrows.

    US army – Soldiers with assault riffles and grenade launchers, tanks, heavy bombers, cruise missles, and 1,550 nuclear weapons.

    I would say we would bomb heaven back into the bronze age, but that’s already been done.

  3. 3
    matty1

    If only the corpses of these founding fathers could be fitted to turbines you could solve all energy problems with their endless spinning.

  4. 4
    Gregory in Seattle

    A rather interesting metaphor. I can easily imagine God saying, “I shot an arrow into the air. Who it killed, I did not care. So I shot another hundred or so, and didn’t care even more.”

  5. 5
    birgerjohansson

    Maybe Loki is involved some way ?

  6. 6
    Captain Mike

    @ holytape: Iron age.

    @ matty1: We could likely power most of the US with Thomas Jefferson alone.

  7. 7
    Chiroptera

    I’m not worried. I have an iron chariot.

  8. 8
    birgerjohansson

    Whait a minute. Thulsa Doom (in that first Conan film) used snakes for arrows. That would be kind of badass. But I doubt Thulsa Doom is into ‘Merkun politics., except maybe to mess with Arnold.

  9. 9
    birgerjohansson

    Family Guy mimicis God shooting arrows; “peeuw, pheeeuw, take that you evil Supreme court”.

  10. 10
    roggg

    They really have a low opinion of their god if they think he’s staring us down with a weapon pointed at us waiting for an excuse to let us have it real good. Just sayin…

  11. 11
    democommie

    Hey, since we’re talkin’ bout weppins; seems that Chiefie Kessler has hooked up with that shitbird Yeager down in TN.

    http://www.examiner.com/article/finding-the-truth-the-chief-mark-kessler-case

    KY Gellin’, that’s what them boyz are up to.

  12. 12
    Larry

    So now god uses arrows to punish people. What happened to plagues and locusts, floods, boils, and turning people into pillars of salt? And why bow and arrow. He’s god. He good have any modern weapon he wanted. Instead, he’s Ted Fuckin’ Nugent.

  13. 13
    democommie

    @4:

    Almost perfect couplet. I’m changing a couple of words.

    ““I shot an arrow into the air. Who it killed, I did not care.

    So I shot one million score, and didn’t care even more.”

  14. 14
    democommie

    “I would say we would bomb heaven back into the bronze age, but that’s already been done.”

    “@ holytape: Iron age.”

    While the distinction is one that doesn’t particularly matter, a quick riffle through googletubia says that the “Iron Age” didn’t really begin until around 1200 BCE. This website:

    http://www.orthodox-jews.com/origin-of-judaism.html#axzz2e7cqqO3F

    dates “Judaism” from about 1400.

    So late Bronze Age, early Iron Age, tomato-tohmatoe.

  15. 15
    Gregory in Seattle

    @democommie #14 – And the LORD was with Judah, and he took possession of the hill country, but he could not drive out the inhabitants of the plain, because they had chariots of iron. – Judges 1:19, RSV

    God could not overcome iron chariots. Bronze Age, most definitely.

  16. 16
    Gregory in Seattle

    Then again, maybe God is one of the Fair Folk and unable to stand against cold iron. Hmmm, that would make for an interesting story….

  17. 17
    frankb

    Those two are against gay marriage yet they worry about being targeted or about splash damage. If the righteous don’t suffer why are they concerned? It’s another case of their moral god acting immorally.

    Of course the founding fathers would be shocked at our society now. Imagine, driving down the road in a contraption made of glass and steel at 60 miles an hour! But some of them would be impressed that we are striving for the ideal of democracy to grant everyone equality in ways that they couldn’t.

  18. 18
    abb3w

    “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” is apparently a classic sermon; it seems like picking it apart might shed some interesting light on the psychological mindset of that sort of Christian (beyond the obvious social validation element inherent to allusion to a famous sermon of one of the most famous preachers of American history.)

  19. 19
    reverendrodney

    Do automobiles count as iron chariots? If so I’ll just sit in my pickup with a six-pack until Armageddon is over.
    Let the Rapture begin!

  20. 20
    daved

    Do automobiles count as iron chariots? If so I’ll just sit in my pickup with a six-pack until Armageddon is over.
    Let the Rapture begin!

    That only works if you’re in a plain. If you’re up in the hills, you’re toast.

  21. 21
    cry4turtles

    New Mel Gibson movie titled “God, ‘I’m pissed’” hitting theaters soon! God will be portrayed by folk hero Robin Hood.

  22. 22
    democommie

    “God could not overcome iron chariots. Bronze Age, most definitely.”

    Since we don’t have any certifiable dates for when ANY version of the Wholly Babble was actually written and we lack, similarly, access to the editor’s/proofreader’s note, we can’t tell with anything like certainty when that passage:

    “And the LORD was with Judah, and he took possession of the hill country, but he could not drive out the inhabitants of the plain, because they had chariots of iron. – Judges 1:19, RSV”

    Was actually set down on papyrus or clay tablets.

    What we do we have information about, with a fairly high degree of certainty is the history of Egypt and there were jewish communities in Egypt at around 650 BCE. It is not clear how long they were in the area where they came from prior to that but the site that I cited in my earlier comment says that they go back to circ 1400 BCE. It’s not a big deal to me which Age is which, but it comes up from time to time on this blog and its not clear which Age is the one to worry about or if either of them is worth worrying about. Whether the Bronze Age or the Iron Age saw the beginnings of the Cult of YWHW is not a matter of importance to me.

  23. 23
    dingojack

    Sure that’s not Eros?
    Dingo

  24. 24
    democommie

    @23:

    Sorry, dingojack, it that’s intended for me, all I hear is a whooshing sound.

  25. 25
    longstreet63

    You know, now I think about it, the idea of someone using an iron chariot is pretty odd. By nature, and to be effective, chariots needed to be built lightly. Sure, the wheels might usefully be made of iron, and the scytheblades on the axle, if it’s that kind of chariot, but if you made the whole thing out of iron, you’d need several horses to drag it at a walk (horses being pretty light at the time).
    Not to mention that in the early iron age, iron was fantastically expensive. It’d be like a goldplated Abrams, if the Abrams could be disabled by a bump in the ground.
    Not saying nobody would have made them, but they’d probably not be common. And where do these plains-dwellers get the iron? Maybe it was a gift from the Hittites.
    Either way, we have much better iron chariots today. Even our infantry wears arrow-proof body armor.
    So, as our last (Non Seckrit Muslin Atheist) Christian Peacemaker-in-Chief said, “Bring it on!”

  26. 26
    Skip White

    So… iron is to God as the color yellow is to Green Lantern?

  27. 27
    Al Dente

    Jonathan Edwards talked about in ‘Sinners in the hands of an Angry God,’ holding the bow and arrow, holding back His wrath, but only for a time.”

    That time can be very long. Pat Robertson assured us the 2010 Haitian earthquake was due to a pact with Satan some Haitians made in 1804. So people in the early 23rd Century might have a problem because we didn’t persecute gays enough to satisfy Mefferd and LaBarbera.

  28. 28
    exdrone

    So same-sex marriage was god’s “red line” and he has to take action because his credibility is now at stake?

  29. 29
    freehand

    rogggThey really have a low opinion of their god if they think he’s staring us down with a weapon pointed at us waiting for an excuse to let us have it real good. Just sayin…

    Think of Yahweh as an abusive daddy, with magic. Abusive dads might easily lurk right around the corner, belt in hand, just waiting for an excuse to whup the toddler for doing something wrong. Maybe If he has another beer he’ll find a reason…

    As for iron age / bronze age question, I assume that most of the big myths came from earlier cultures even if the Jews as a people were later. They collected old stories and wrote them down. Surely the Garden of Eden and the Flood are bronze age? Iron chariots, BTW, would be just the sort of thing that folks who don’t yet work with iron would fear, or talk about to folks who don’t know any better.

    I figure the Fair Folk were an earlier people in the British Isles who did not yet have iron – the Picts, perhaps? They may have been quick and quiet and wise in the ways of the woods, but couldn’t stand up to a steel blade when confronted face to face. If we didn’t have print and photographs, what kind of stories would be getting told now about First Nation peoples in America?

  30. 30
    skinnercitycyclist

    Yeah, I’m quivering in fear.

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