Kessler’s Delusions of Grandeur


Deranged Gilberton, Pennsylvania Chief of Police Mark Kessler is not just a heavily armed and dangerous extremist, he also has delusions of grandeur. Like most wingnuts, he has paranoid delusions about the government coming after him, but he says that would spark a revolution.

Now that he’s achieved a measure of notoriety for his obscenity-filled rants against government tyranny and people he calls “libtards,” Kessler said he worries the federal government will try to silence him. He predicted chaos if that happens.

“God help them if something should happen to me,” he said. “I believe that could spark the next American Revolution.”

Yes, because you’re just that important. You’re God’s special little rainbow and if anything happens to you, there’ll be hell to pay. Isn’t this where you compare yourself to Jesus, being persecuted just like him? I think that’s on the next page of this script.

Comments

  1. ludicrous says

    Not to worry, Beelzebub has taken possession of Mr. Kessler to undermine our faith. He does need to get himself a new god the one’s been taking care of him is obviously a slacker, been punching out early and leaving him at the mercy of the netherworld.

  2. says

    The longer this lying, fucking piece-of-shit sociopath drags this out, the greater the chance that he is doing this as a career move. He’s tired of bein’ the biggest swingin’ dick in Gilbertson, he wants to be the biggest swingin’ dick in MurKKKa and he, by GOD, will be!

    In the story which Ed links to, we learn, finally, that Chiefie is 41 years old and a father of four, grandfather of two. He’s been a cop for 14 years (according to earlier published reports, no link) and he was a coal miner prior to that. So, it looks like his Boner-fidees for bein’ a revolutionary firebrand are his–gunz. If he keeps it up, Kessler’s liable to find out how much phone calls cost from the pokey.

  3. dingojack says

    God help them if something should happen to me,” he said. “I believe that could spark the next American Revolution.”

    EGROTFL*

    (That’s rather assuming that the average gunloon could haul their lardy-ass off the couch, switch off Oprah, dust the Cheetos crumbs from their stained sweatshirts and zombie-shuffle, stumbling and blinking, into the light outside theitr mommas’ basements).

    Dingo
    ——–
    * even god rolled on the floor laughing.

  4. Akira MacKenzie says

    “…grandfather of two…” at 41!

    Why do I suspect this asshole’s children were taught all about abstinence and never about birth control?

    Or is this one of those Good Ol’ Boy/Girl mining communities were one is expected to be married by the age of 13?

  5. frankb says

    Yeah, the revolution that’s going to take back the country for God and right thinking folks is due anytime now. Yessiree-bob. Then Mark will be top dog. It is nice to have dream, but dreams of terrorizing your neighbors is not nice.

  6. raven says

    “…grandfather of two…” at 41!

    Actually for some communities, that is rather late.

    I’ve seen a few grandparents at 33 or 34 and one at…28.

    1. Kessler has made Gibberton famous. Or rather infamous. It’s well known that there is a heavily armed mad man running around there. It’s also known that he is the chief of police.

    Just about anyone who values their life is going to avoid the whole area. It all looks like nowhereville anyway.

    2. It wouldn’t surprise me if there are a few dead bodies before this is all over. We see this all the time. Someone with paranoia and a persecution complex barricades themselves somewhere and shoots it out with the cops.

    Or attacks the police or a government facility. Timothy McVeigh, the Branch Davidians, that guy who flew a small airplane into the IRS office in Austin, they guy who left a bomb at a MLK parade is Spokane, Ruby Ridge, Kent Hovind*, Vox Days father, and on and on.

    *The Feds raided Hovind’s house. And collected an arsenal of weapons. Why does a xian minister need an arsenal of weapons anyway? It’s quite clear that they considered him dangerous and a potential killer.

  7. John Pieret says

    Sadly, the town council is scared of him so much they won’t fire him. They continued his suspension without pay indefinitely. According to the mayor they have to “… to follow the law. Contract law and things like that.” It is hard to believe that the town signed any contract that would prevent them from firing an obvious lunatic who has, not at all subtly, threatened other town officials as well as other town citizens.

    http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2013/08/contract_binds_cussing_police.html

  8. Michael Heath says

    democommie writes:

    The longer this lying, fucking piece-of-shit sociopath drags this out, the greater the chance that he is doing this as a career move. He’s tired of bein’ the biggest swingin’ dick in Gilbertson, he wants to be the biggest swingin’ dick in MurKKKa and he, by GOD, will be!

    I hope you’re right for one reason. If this is Mark Kessler’s delusion, than it most likely reduces the threat to those he’s threatened with violence, at least from him directly.

    However, the more notoriety Mr. Kessler achieves, the greater the odds a fellow nut will come out of the woodwork and harm Kessler’s targets. Kessler deserves to be locked up, at a minimum for the mental state he repeatedly demonstrates. He should certainly also be indicted for the threats he’s made, where the only way I see out of his guilt is that’s mentally ill to the point of not being criminally culpable. Either way others’ safety rights need to be protected by locking Kessler up.

  9. DaveL says

    Silence him? If I were the current administration, I’d want this clown as the next GOP presidential candidate.

  10. typecaster says

    Someone with paranoia and a persecution complex barricades themselves somewhere and shoots it out with the cops.

    Why does this make me think of the hostage scene in Blazing Saddles?

  11. jameshanley says

    I’ve seen one of this guy’s videos. He just shoots his gun wildly into open country, something any dipshit who’s never picked up a gun before could do. Instead of making himself look like a man who can handle a gun, he makes himself look like a 14 year old gangbanger doing his first drive-by.

  12. sezme says

    Crazy – like a fox. I’d bet he’ll make a lot of money off some conservative media outlet. I’d bet he’ll speak at next year’s CPAC. I’ll bet he’s going to be bombarded with requests for endorsements in 2014 … and get paid to appear with damn near every good-ol’-boy candidate in the country. I’ll bet he’s already got an agent.

    The guy’s an asshole but soon he’ll be a green asshole. More’s the pity.

  13. francesc says

    “…grandfather of two…” at 41!
    by the age of 60, he will be greatgrandparent. He will have about 64 heavily armed greatgrandson’s. Let’s see if you laugh at him then (insert maniachal laugh here)

  14. chilidog99 says

    The man has access to a large number of expensive automatic weapons on a $24,000 per year salary.

    The suspicion is that he has been buying and selling weapons using burough money and his status as a law enforcement officer.

    Once they fire him, he will no longer be allowed to play with his toys and he will throw a temper tantrum when the Burough and the Feds ask for them back.

  15. chilidog99 says

    John @ 7. It seems to me that the council is just giving him more rope to hang himself.

    Without knowing the specifics of the employment contract, I suspect that they are being cautious and making sure that they can fire his ass and not have to eat the last two years of his contract.

  16. says

    “he makes himself look like a 14 year old gangbanger jerking himself off with his penis substitute while THINKING about doing his first drive-by.”

    Sorry, jameshanley, that needed some additional exposition.

    “The suspicion is that he has been buying and selling weapons using burough money and his status as a law enforcement officer.”

    Well, if that is true, then the ATF and FBI will both be involved–if they aren’t already. Buying and selling fully auto weapons is very tightly regulated and not playing by the feds rules WHILE BEING A LOUDMOUTHED ASSHOLE is definitely a good way to get their attention.

  17. John Pieret says

    chillidog99 @ 18:

    It seems to me that the council is just giving him more rope to hang himself.

    Maybe. But I can’t see how any employment contract for a police chief (sole police officer) could not be terminated after obvious threats of violence were made against another town official. Moreover, I can’t really imagine anything more he could do, short of an actual assault on that offical, to warrant dismissal and by then, obviously, it could be too late. If I were them, I’d contact the state police, tell them that they were going to fire him and ask for protection for the town officials.

    With the firing Kessler will get his martyrdom and could go out on the crazy circuit and make more than he is now. That might be the safest way to get rid of him.

  18. JoeBuddha says

    I think if he gets his armed gang together to take over city hall again, he may actually be half right. I’m sure there would be state if not federal charges involved.

  19. says

    Gunzloonz logic (for lack of a more accurate term) runs along the line of:

    “We are GARUNFUCKEN’TEED our 2nd Amendment RIGHTS BY Constitutional (and Wholly Babblical) law. If our RIGHTS are abridged (or if we unreasonably conclude that they might be) we’re gonna take the law into our own hands, ‘cuz, badlaw, JESUS, anshutupthat’swhy!”

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