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Aug 26 2013

Demons are Raping Your Children!

Gordon Klingenschmitt’s ability to “discern spirits” is truly a wonder to behold. His latest bit of inanity is that the FCC is being controlled by demons to let them “molest and visually rape your children” through your television. This is like a reality TV show called America’s Next Top Moron.

25 comments

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  1. 1
    Modusoperandi

    He’s right. I saw Sesame Street recently and it was all mansex. Bill Moyer’s show, too. Plus, the FCC is doing nothing about that demonic Ellen DeGeneres and her lesbian ladyparts, or Demon-in-Chief Barack Hussein Obama’s regular television appearances.

  2. 2
    Pteryxx

    …So when children really do get raped (because that’s very common) their rapists have a pre-made excuse and this guy and followers can claim “proof of FCC demons!” How… original. (not.) Compare:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/08/ghost-rapes-in-mennonite-bolivia.html

    *headshake*

    …I did some diligence before posting and found PZ actually covered this in 2011 via Jen.

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/08/18/archaic-religion-modern-technology-horror-in-bolivia/

  3. 3
    oranje

    I can’t bring myself to actually watch the video (I already have a headache), but I’m kinda expecting him to start explaining his floor mat called “Jump to Conclusions.”

  4. 4
    Lothar Lorraine

    Well, there is nothing new under the sun; this is just one more example of the age-old “the devil made me do it” explanation of human misbehavior.
    Actually, divine determinists like Calvinists have a much better excuse: “God made do it!”.

    Lothars Sohn – Lothar’s son
    http://lotharlorraine.wordpress.com

  5. 5
    d.c.wilson

    Gordon sees demons behind every one of society’s ills, real or imagined. Demons must be more common than cockroaches in his world.

  6. 6
    raven

    Demons must be more common than cockroaches in his world.

    And they must be the dominant life form on earth as well.

    After all, they run humans, instead of humans running the demons.

    But you can’t blame god for letting his creations, the demons, take over. He is believed to be hanging around Kpax IV communing with his newest manufactured friends, the methane swimming squids.

  7. 7
    Michael Brew

    Sounds like someone’s making a play to become the next Antoine Dodson. Someone should totally autotune this crap.

  8. 8
    exdrone

    Like Flip Wilson, Klingenschmitt seems to be channelling his inner Geraldine.

  9. 9
    grumpyoldfart

    Klingenschmitt says that Genachowski has been influenced to abuse, molest and rape children.

    Stuff the free speech. If he said that about me I punch his fucken lights out.

  10. 10
    jonathangray

    d.c. wilson:

    Demons must be more common than cockroaches

    They are. “If all the devils that are here were to take bodily form, they would blot out the light of the sun.” – St Pio of Pietrelcina

    raven:

    And they must be the dominant life form on earth as well.

    They are. “For the prince of this world cometh …” “… the god of this world hath blinded the minds of unbelievers …”

    After all, they run humans, instead of humans running the demons.

    Sheep don’t run wolves.

  11. 11
    Subtract Hominem, a product of Nauseam

    This is like a reality TV show called America’s Next Top Moron Moloch.

    FTFY. Or perhaps I only FTFM. I’m standing by it either way.

  12. 12
    raven

    As usual Piltdown/Gray, you are amusing in a rather warped way.

    If demons outnumber humans, run humans, and control the world as the dominant life form, …then where are your gods?

    1. If the gods can’t control the demons (which they supposedly made), why call them gods? They aren’t powerful enough.

    2. If they can but don’t, then they are monsters!!! Why worship evil beings?

    Of course there is a third alternative, accepted by many including roughly half of all US xians, and shown by social science research and science.

    3. Demons are imaginary. The gods are just sockpuppets, imaginary mental constructs that reflect your thoughts back to you.

    Which shows what we already know about you. Your gods are monsters. You are a monster. QED.

    PS: For those tuning in late, JG is a Catholic extremist who wants to abolish democracy and set up a new Theocratic Dark Age, ruled by the Pope. He hates Protestants among most of the human species. He’s said that the RCC Inquisition’s witch and heretic hunts weren’t that bad and besides, those witches and heretics deserved it. IIRC, he claims to be in the UK. Quite likely from Northern Ireland which would explain a lot.

  13. 13
    some bastard on the internet

    jonathangray #10

    Sheep don’t run wolves.

    This sort of begs the question, if demons are responsible for mankind’s wickedness, why are we the ones who need forgiveness? What the fuck did we do? If just pieces on some cosmic chess board, then why are we the ones who get judged on someone else’s choices?

    Whenever I hear about “demon-control” or some shit like that, I start to wonder if God and Satan are in the middle of a bad divorce, and are just taking a really long time arguing over division of the assets.

  14. 14
    some bastard on the internet

    Gaaaah, fuck.

    If we’re just pieces on some cosmic chess board…

  15. 15
    chippanfire

    Not such a far-fetched claim. Here’s a documentary clip from 2001 by respected investigative reporter Christopher Morris. It proves how predatory paedophiles were physically molesting children over the Internet. Additional weight was given to the report by contributions from various MPs and celebrities of the day.

  16. 16
    raven

    chippanfire seems to be unable to tell reality from fantasy. The Chris Morris he referrs to produces parodies. Yo chip, parodies aren’t real, they are humorous stories.

    bbc.com:

    This is the story of one of the most controversial ‘controversial’ moments of 2001 in the UK. It is a story of provocation, stupidity, deceit, bravery and laughter. It is the story of the Brass Eye Paedophile Special.

    Intro

    The UK’s fourth television channel, Channel 4, is a publicly-owned broadcaster whose remit includes the provision of innovative and challenging programmes. It gave a platform to a satirist called Chris Morris2, who made several episodes of Brass Eye. Brass Eye was a

    parody of the schlock, sensationalist documentaries that have grown in popularity in recent years.

    The programme makers approached 315 public figures and invited them to take part in promoting a paedophile awareness campaign. This campaign was a set-up. They were asked to read scripts containing ludicrous assertions, including:

    Internet paedophiles can project poison gas through a child’s keyboard using the new HOECS4 system.


    Paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than humans.


    ‘Trust Me Trousers’, which were inflated to hide a paedophile’s erection.


    Supporting a group called ‘Nonce5 Sense’.

  17. 17
    raven

    I hope chippanfire was joking although it really doesn’t look like it.

    Otherwise, he/she is so far out of touch with reality as to be extremely dangerous.

    At the least, while he is crossing the street in a complete mental fog, you could cause serious damage to your car running over him.

  18. 18
    matty1

    @15 and 16, I’m sorry which one can’t recognise satire?

    Anyway I remember Brass Eye as an act of genius, never forget “cake is a made up drug”.

  19. 19
    matty1

    Chippanfire linked to the name Chris Morris to an article on wikipedia titled “Chris Morris (satirist)”, of course they know what they’re doing.

  20. 20
    matty1

    PS: For those tuning in late, JG is a Catholic extremist who wants to abolish democracy and set up a new Theocratic Dark Age, ruled by the Pope. He hates Protestants among most of the human species. He’s said that the RCC Inquisition’s witch and heretic hunts weren’t that bad and besides, those witches and heretics deserved it. IIRC, he claims to be in the UK. Quite likely from Northern Ireland which would explain a lot.

    Except that no Ulster catholic would admit to being in the UK if they value their kneecaps. OK I’m pretty sure they’ve stopped that now but still in Northern Ireland catholic = Irish nationalist/republican

  21. 21
    chippanfire

    @19 Thank you, matty1.
    @16 Yo raven, whoosh.

  22. 22
    Modusoperandi

    matty1 “Chippanfire linked to the name Chris Morris to an article on wikipedia titled “Chris Morris (satirist)”, of course they know what they’re doing.”
    Chris Morris is a man with the ears and legs of a goat, who plays the pan flute? I you’re the one whose been bamboozled.

  23. 23
    jonathangray

    raven:

    you are amusing in a rather warped way

    That’s basically what I’m aiming for.

    1. If the gods can’t control the demons (which they supposedly made), why call them gods? They aren’t powerful enough.

    2. If they can but don’t, then they are monsters!!! Why worship evil beings?

    People are only vulnerable to demons because God won’t control people.

    shown by social science research and science.

    *giggle*

    JG is a Catholic extremist

    By your lights maybe. I think of myself as a moderate.

    who wants to abolish democracy

    Democracy seems to be doing a pretty good job of that by itself.

    and set up a new Theocratic Dark Age, ruled by the Pope.

    That’s a very negative attitude.

    He hates Protestants among most of the human species.

    Some of my best friends are humans.

    He’s said that the RCC Inquisition’s witch and heretic hunts weren’t that bad and besides, those witches and heretics deserved it.

    My position is a bit more nuanced than that.

    IIRC, he claims to be in the UK. Quite likely from Northern Ireland which would explain a lot.

    http://www.sadtrombone.com

    some bastard on the net:

    if demons are responsible for mankind’s wickedness, why are we the ones who need forgiveness? What the fuck did we do? If just pieces on some cosmic chess board, then why are we the ones who get judged on someone else’s choices?

    Demons have very great power over the imagination, very little over the intellect and none at all over the will. They cannot compel, only tempt.

  24. 24
    Nick Gotts

    They [demons] cannot compel, only tempt.

    Unlike Catholic priests, and other real rapists of children.

  25. 25
    jonathangray

    Nick Gotts:

    Unlike Catholic priests, and other real rapists of children.

    Exactly. (Although I’m mystified why you should mention Catholic priests. Do a majority of Catholic priests rape children? Do a disproportionate number of Catholic priests rape children compared to other demographics, eg Mohammedans, homosexuals, BBC light entertainers?)

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