God’s Message to Ken Ham


The Christian right is constantly telling us that natural disasters, storms and personal tragedies are examples of God sending a message to us that we’re not doing his will. So what will the message be now that God apparently struck an employee of the Creation Museum with lightning on the job?

A staff member was injured Wednesday while clearing guests from a zip line at the Creation Museum…

Museum officials said a male staffer touched an object that had been energized by lightning and was injured.

He was taken to an area hospital as a precaution, but his injuries were not considered to be serious.

The zip line attraction opened this spring to help the religion-themed museum attract a wider audience.

Hmmm. Is God telling them that the non-religious zip lines are an abomination? Or maybe the whole museum is? Or maybe that employee touched himself inappropriately that morning or something. Or maybe it’s completely random and has nothing to do with anyone’s religious belief. Yes, I’m betting that’s the truth. But that’s the truth every time they tell us that God has sent a hurricane or an earthquake because — always, it seems — The Gay!

This is the second extraordinarily ironic lightning strike in the Cincinnati area. A few years ago, Touchdown Jesus was struck by lightning and burned to the ground. Right across the highway is a Hustler Hollywood store that wasn’t touched.

Comments

  1. kevinalexander says

    I’m guessing that whoever actually built the zap line consulted Jesus instead of an electrician who would have suggested grounding the thing.

  2. dingojack says

    Could god’s message to Ken be something like: ‘You’re next! (And from now on I ain’t foolin’ around, Kenny-boy)”?

    Just a thought.

    Dingo

  3. whheydt says

    When lightning rods were the hot new technology, churches (often built on hills, with tall steeples) refused to install them because it would show a lack of faith. Other buildings, like brothels, did install them. A lot more churches than brothels were destroyed due to lightning strikes. So, the attitude is nothing new.

  4. tbp1 says

    Wasn’t there a big theological debate in the MIddle Ages about why churches, especially the bell towers, were struck by lightning so often? Of course, now we know: tall structures with tons of metal in them are essentially giant lightning attractors.

    On a more serious note, I’ve always wondered about this “God is sending us a message” thing any time there’s a natural (or manmade, for that matter) disaster. When I was young, and my parents punished me, they told me exactly what I did wrong and what the punishment was going to be. I won’t say I always agreed with them, but they were good, thoughtful and caring people and and generally got it right (or at least not too far wrong). What they didn’t do was burn down some random stranger’s house across town and keep silent about it, just assuming I would figure out that that had happened because I stayed out past curfew. But apparently, that’s exactly how God works.

  5. madgastronomer says

    Obviously, this message was from Zeus, who was pissed because the Creation Museum wasn’t teaching the controversy about whether the world was created in six days by a single god, or whether the Heavens and the Earth arose out of Chaos, and then begat multiple pantheons worth of gods. Either that, or he wanted to sleep with this guy’s wife.

  6. sqlrob says

    God’s message to tsig:

    Spell check.

    Satan’s message to tsig: Use grammar check, not spell check :D

  7. says

    Magdastronomer:

    Obviously, the message was from Thor who was upset the museum didn’t show that the world was created by his father and uncles out of the corpse of the frost giant they slew.

  8. colnago80 says

    Hey don’t you know, like the Spencer Tracy character in Inherit the Wind says, God tells Ham and Ham tells the world. Let us have a book of Ham.

  9. sezme says

    madgastronomer @8: Either that, or he wanted to sleep with this guy’s wife.
    If that was the goal, he made a big boo-boo. The next time the guy shags his wife/girlfriend/hooker the experience will be electrifying.

  10. francesc says

    You all look surprised by the creation museum not grounding the lines, but… did anybody read the first sentece?
    “was injured Wednesday while clearing guests”
    They allegedly have customers in the creation museum!

  11. says

    Seen through the lens of the Old Testament, there is really only one way to interpret this sign from God. Ken Ham must become even more crazy and devoted to God or even more of his people will be struck down.

  12. Doug Little says

    God’s message:

    Use lightning rods and proper grounding.

    Yes that does seem to be the message. I remember the best example of this was when Touchdown Jesus burnt to the ground because of a lightning strike.

  13. Kaintukee Bob says

    They rebuilt Touchdown Jeebus. He’s not so touchdowny any longer, and I believe they did something to reduce the risk of fire.

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