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Klingenschmitt: Obama Building Atheist Army

Gordon Klingenschmitt was thrown out of the Navy for refusing to follow lawful orders but he’s convinced others (and maybe himself) that he was the victim of persecution. But that’s just the beginning, he told Dove TV. Obama is now building an all-atheist military to attack and kill Christians. I want some of what he’s smoking.

Comments

  1. Randomfactor says

    Apparently an all-atheist army is superior to the Christian forces (we have iron chariots or something). Gordo should be happy the armed forces are improving.

  2. daved says

    I want some of what he’s smoking.

    I don’t. It apparently turns you into a raving paranoid loon.

  3. says

    But just the other day, Orson Scott Card told me Obama was recruiting all the boyz in da hood to be his personal gang police, like Isaac Hayes in Escape from New York. So which is it, or is it both, and the atheists are just the reserves? I guess this is a good thing, because I was a little too white to have joined that first army and now it looks like I have a chance. So, yay — diversity!

  4. Randydeluxe says

    But just yesterday Glenn Beck told me that Obama was feckless and an empty suit. He hasn’t even improved his golf game in six years! How can we be talking about the same Obama?

  5. exdrone says

    So remember atheist soldiers, the fundies will try to hide among us. Just confront them with a hot-button issue, like “I think same-sex marriage is a good thing.” If steam comes out of their ears, they’re a fundie. Now, hunt away.

  6. Doug Little says

    Obama is now building an all-atheist military to attack and kill Christians.

    Come on Gordo you can do better than that. Obama is building an undead, cybernetic, all-atheist military just like the Nazis did in Return to Castle Wolfenstein which was a documentary cleverly disguised as a 1st person shooter.

  7. Synfandel says

    Martin Wagner wrote:

    …I was a little too white to have joined that first army…

    I don’t recall Card saying anything about the colour of the soldiers—just that the NaPo will be recruited from “young out-of-work urban men”. Is our subconscious racial bias showing?

  8. roggg says

    I’m not sure why an Islamic extremist would be raising an atheist army, but if Gordo says it, it must be true. (God talks to him you know.)

  9. Moggie says

    Synfandel:

    I don’t recall Card saying anything about the colour of the soldiers—just that the NaPo will be recruited from “young out-of-work urban men”.

    That whistle would have deafened all dogs within a half-mile radius.

  10. caseloweraz says

    Like Rev. “I can’t say that for a fact” Fischer, I wouldn’t swear that Klingenschmitt is correct about this. But let’s assume it for purposes of discussion. Certain questions arise.

    1. How is Obama going to pay, equip and train this army?

    2. Where will they be bivouacked?

    3. Who can come up with a marching song as rousing as “Onward Christian Soldiers”?

  11. marcus says

    Ed: “I want some of what he’s smoking.”
    No you don’t. Whatever he’s on sounds more like PCP than pot.

  12. Michael Heath says

    And President Obama has how many months left in office to get this atheist army in place?

  13. freehand says

    Michael – folks who are not part of the reality-based culture are not known for their numeracy. Sneaking millions of Muslims into the US, atheist armies, massive voter fraud based on individual ID theft, and other such paranoid concepts require a profound failure to grasp numbers as well as facts in order to see them as true (or even possible).

  14. Steve Morrison says

    And President Obama has how many months left in office to get this atheist army in place?

    Well, he has 29 months of his second term, and after that 96 months of Michelle’s two terms. That ought to be enough to – whoops, wrong conspiracy theory, never mind.

  15. whheydt says

    Re: Steve Morrison @ #19:

    Really? Aug. 2013 to Jan 2017 is 29 months? On whose calendar?

  16. bad Jim says

    “Who can come up with a marching song as rousing as “Onward Christian Soldiers”?”

    I’m sure the question is rhetorical, but the obvious rejoinder is that any song not explicitly mentioning God is an atheist song. La Cucaracha was one of the marching songs of the Mexican Revolution; according to B. Traven, so was “Yes, We Have No Bananas”.

  17. grumpyoldfart says

    He usually broadcasts from a studio with a world map behind him. This time he’s in somebody’s lounge room. There must be something going on that we don’t know about. Spooky!

  18. says

    Will there be teh GAYtheists designing the unis? Cuz’, if I’m gonna taunt GOD I want to look very Nazistrappyblack’n’silver while I’m doing so.

    The HeteroKKKristians will be easy to identify in their plaid shirts, striped trousers, polka-dotted jackets and Croc’s with socks.

  19. skinnercitycyclist says

    Actually, this is a rebound for the atheist army. I was an atheist in an MI unit in Germany in the early 80’s, as were most of my fellow soldiers at least “functional” atheists, and the Christians were relatively inoffensive and kept their bullshit to themselves. Despite the jokes, soldiers in MI tend to be brighter than your average bear (think Snowden, think Manning), so that may have skewed things in my battalion, but I got around to other units a bit and noticed none of the Christianist bull that seems to characterize the modern military (esp. the Air Force).

  20. colnago80 says

    Re caseloweraz @ #14

    Who can come up with a marching song as rousing as “Onward Christian Soldiers”?

    How about the Preussens Gloria. Always like to see the Hood blow up.

    http://goo.gl/aGbJ4i

  21. Roger says

    So what is he doing with all the Muslims he imported? Aren’t they good enough to be in Obama’s army? Oh, never mind, I know. They are are going to be the guards and staff of all the FEMA concentration camps he’s building.

  22. thebookofdave says

    What, no demons? Bring back the real Gordon Klingenschmitt! This is his clearest opportunity for a good old-fashioned demon scare. Atheists make the best demonic sleeper agents. Since we don’t believe in them, we are oblivious to their influence. Plus, demons by the dozen could fit comfortably in every God-shaped hole in our hearts. We’re like an unholy Trojan Horse cavalry!

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