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More of Gohmert’s Paranoid Fantasies

Rep. Louis Gohmert is much like Michele Bachmann, both in the sense that neither are very smart but also in the sense that neither one really cares whether what they say is true or not. If they overhear some little tidbit of information that fits their ideology, they will not only repeat it but build a whole narrative around it. You may remember that Bachmann did this with a nonsensical story about a kid becoming retarded because of a vaccine. It was total nonsense without a shred of evidence, but that didn’t stop Bachmann from repeating it on national television and making a fool out of herself. Here’s Gohmert’s most recent example of this phenomenon:

Gohmert warned that “until we secure the border, we’re going to have the same problems. They’re not going away until we control who comes in.”

“The FBI director has confirmed more than once that we know that there are radical Islamists that change their names to Hispanic-sounding last names, they come to Mexico and get and ID, and some of them even learn a little bit of Spanish so that they can try to act as if they’re Hispanic,” he continued.

“Why? Because we don’t have any fear of Hispanics coming into the country, but we’ve got concerns about radical Islamists.”

I think we can all surmise how this came about. Someone, probably one of the constituents who voted for him, suggested that this was a possibility at some townhall meeting. Since it supports Gohmert’s position, he then presumed that it must be true. I can find no record of the FBI director ever saying such a thing, but I can envision Gohmert asking him in a hearing whether it was possible that Muslims are taking Hispanic names and learning Spanish to blend in and he would, of course, say that this is possible. But there isn’t any evidence that it’s actually happening. But Gohmert doesn’t need evidence. If it’s possible, it’s true — but only when it supports what he wants to be true.

Comments

  1. Randomfactor says

    Reportedly considering a run for the Senate…where he would dislodge Jim Inhofe as dumbest Senator breathing.

  2. colnago80 says

    Re Randomfactor @ #1

    I don’t know about that. I’d say that it would be a close competition between them.

  3. busterggi says

    Sure, because no one would notice an Arabic looking person speaking Spanish with an Arabic accent.

    Besides, I thought they were supposed to be coming down from Canada speaking French.

  4. raven says

    Is it possible to be too dumb and loony to be elected to any position in Texas.

    It’s almost like a reverse meritocracy.

  5. blf says

    Of course they are taking Hispanic-sounding names and leaning a few words of Spanish! That makes it easier for their “terror babies” to blend in as the WASPs turn into a minority.

    </snark>

  6. Johnny Vector says

    And you know what they do once they get into the country? That’s right! They drive at night with their headlights off until you flash their lights at them, then they come and abduct you into their UFO, and force you to push the button that releases the chemtrails. Then they force you to gay-marry sign up for Obamacare, and then they drop you off at a secret detention facility full of Death Panels.

    Also, you get anally probed at some point. I’m pretty sure.

  7. scienceavenger says

    Rep. Louis Gohmert is much like [the Republican Party]… in the sense that neither one really cares whether what they say is true or not. If they overhear some little tidbit of information that fits their ideology, they will not only repeat it but build a whole narrative around it. You may remember that [the Republican Party] did this with [Obama's out-of-context-quote: "You didnt build that"]

    FTFY. Gohmert isn’t on the fringe of the GOP, he’s mainstream.

  8. blf says

    Sure, because no one would notice an Arabic looking person speaking Spanish with an Arabic accent.

    “Muslim” terrorist ≠ Arab.

  9. says

    The accent would be a giveaway, but not necessarily appearance. For example to my eyes Jose Bautista of the Toronto Blue Jays could be mistaken for Arab, despite being from the Dominican Republic.

    Personally if I were an al Qaeda recruiter I’d be trying to find Muslim Filipinos who want to be martyrs, given the growth of the Filipino community in North America in recent years.

  10. howardhershey says

    Actually there was an Algerian who crossed the border with bomb making materials in 1999. Of course, he drove and the border was our northern border and he wasn’t pretending to be Hispanic (although the Asst. U.S. Atty. in charge of the “Millennium Bomber Plot” was named Gonzalez and some of the presumed targets were closer to Mexico than Canada). Other than that…

  11. DaveL says

    there are radical Islamists that change their names to Hispanic-sounding last names, they come to Mexico and get and ID, and some of them even learn a little bit of Spanish so that they can try to act as if they’re Hispanic</blockquote.

    Or imagine if they radicalized some disenfranchised white American, who was born with an Anglo-Saxon name, and already speaks English with an American accent? How diabolical would THAT be?

  12. fulcrumx says

    It might be that terrorist are coming disguised as Baptist by learning to start committees and carry bibles.

  13. Larry says

    Of course, they could learn to speak Canadian and enter into ‘murica from the great, white north. Nobody would ever suspect that. HOwever, if they don’t inject an ‘eh’ every few syllables or they can’t explain what icing the puck is, that would be a total dead-to-rights giveaway.

    Stay alert, people

  14. naturalcynic says

    Well, of course it’s possible. After all,l Anthony Quinn [3/4 Mexican,1/4 Irish] played Bedouin shaikhs in Lawrence of Arabia and Lion of the Desert

  15. Al Dente says

    timgueguen @10

    Personally if I were an al Qaeda recruiter I’d be trying to find Muslim Filipinos who want to be martyrs, given the growth of the Filipino community in North America in recent years.

    I’d go looking for Bosniaks (Bosnian Muslims). They’re Southern European and a large percentage are blond. Give one a Czech or Slovak or even German passport and no immigration official would look at them twice.

  16. matty1 says

    Matching this up with the next post I think we need to find out if Mexico has a border with the country of Islam.

  17. sivivolk says

    This actually seems to be a long-running fantasy on the right. I remember seeing a Tom Clancy-esque novel a while back whose major plotline was Iranian terrorists were entering the States through Mexico, disguised as Mexicans. And I’m sure I’ve heard this before from people besides Gohmert.

    I think some commenters above have the right of it – the paranoid right-wing can’t actually tell brown people apart unless they’re speaking certain languages, and so they wouldn’t be able to tell an Arab or Persian speaking Spanish apart from a Hispanic Mexican speaking it.

  18. says

    That’s a lot of work. It would be easier to ensure that only the pettiest, most ignorant boobs got elected, dragging government to a halt and the country with it.

  19. felidae says

    You can take the dumbshit out of Texas but you cant take the Texas out of the dumbshit O’l Gomer acts as if he’s tryin’ win a prize for being the dumbest dumbshit in Congress, an honor for which there is some stiff competition

  20. skinnercitycyclist says

    Modus,

    It would be easier to ensure that only the pettiest, most ignorant boobs got elected

    Please tell me you are not referencing Gohmert with this.

    Also, just in case no one else suspected it, Gohmert is thick as a whale omelet.

  21. freehand says

    DaveL: Or imagine if they radicalized some disenfranchised white American, who was born with an Anglo-Saxon name, and already speaks English with an American accent? How diabolical would THAT be?
    .
    I hear that some of the Christians terrorist organizations have been doing this.

  22. Carlos Cabanita says

    There are millions of Muslim Spanish speakers in the world, either as a first or second language. Such ignorance!

  23. eric says

    HOwever, if they don’t inject an ‘eh’ every few syllables or they can’t explain what icing the puck is, that would be a total dead-to-rights giveaway.

    Gary Larson had the US version of this. If you suspect one of your cowboys is an alien (UFO type, not illegal – this was a Larson animation), then start singing “Deep in the Heart of Texas.” If they get the clapping pattern wrong, shoot them. :)

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