Who Says Creationists Don’t Learn?

Accelerated Christian Education, publisher of textbooks that are widely used by homeschoolers and Christian schools, has removed references to the Loch Ness Monster as evidence that dinosaurs are still alive today. Because that totally makes the book more credible.

A Christian education publisher based in Tennessee has removed references to the existence of the Loch Ness Monster from a biology textbook.

According to Scotland’s Sunday Herald, Accelerated Christian Education, Inc. has opted to remove a statement from a textbook used in Europe and will likely do the same for American textbooks.

“Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland?” reads the deleted passage. “‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”

But the talking snakes, Noah’s Ark and a 6,000 year old earth, all more absurd than the existence of the Loch Ness Monster, are still in there.

20 comments on this post.
  1. Abby Normal:

    Of course snakes can’t talk. They don’t have vocal cords. Duh! That’s why they use telepathy.

  2. John Pieret:

    Are dinosaurs alive today?

    Uh, yes! They fly around and poop on our heads.

    Oh, that’s science and they wouldn’t want any of that to somehow get into their “science” textbook.

  3. Comment Commentator:

    “Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine”

    Out-and-out LIE. All sonar recordings showed were blobs that could have been anything.

  4. chisaihana5219:

    Of course snakes can talk. You just have to be able to speak parseltongue to understand them.

  5. AsqJames:

    “Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine”

    Out-and-out LIE. All sonar recordings showed were blobs that could have been anything.

    Right, but you’re forgetting the definition of evidence for “Nessie” is “anything which can’t immediately be identified as something else (and can be used to lure gullible tourists to come and spend their money).”

  6. AsqJames:

    …Admittedly one would expect a slightly tighter definition in a science textbook.

  7. Modusoperandi:

    Comment Commentator “Out-and-out LIE. All sonar recordings showed were blobs that could have been anything.”
    Anyone who knows anything about dinosaurs knows that on sonar they all look like blobs that could be anything.

  8. Taz:

    TEACH THE CONTROVERSY!

  9. Abby Normal:

    Right-on John, in fact I had a dinosaur for lunch just yesterday. We used to raise some on our family farm. Did you know the modern T-Rex will sometimes run around for several minutes after you chop off its head?

  10. Trebuchet:

    Did you know the modern T-Rex will sometimes run around for several minutes after you chop off its head?

    Or longer, on occasion. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken

  11. Bronze Dog:

    I wonder if they’ve used Bigfoot to claim that all those ancient hominid fossils are actually just Sasquatch instead of human ancestors. And if they’ll delete any such references now.

    Naturally, most Creationists won’t get either memo for a while, so they’ll continue making such claims.

    One thing that sticks out to me about the whole Nessie argument: So what? There’s nothing inherent to evolution that says the non-avian dinosaurs were required to die out. If, by some weird fluke, plesiosaurs survived the catastrophe and we discover Nessie, yeah, we’d need to rewrite a lot of texts to acknowledge their survival, but evolutionary theory wouldn’t be touched. The only potential problem I can see would be if we studied Nessie and found virtually no difference between her and her ancient ancestors. The modern coelocanths are significantly different from their ancient ancestors, so they weren’t a crisis for evolution, despite Creationist efforts to depict them as such.

    Are dinosaurs alive today?

    Uh, yes! They fly around and poop on our heads.

    Oh, that’s science and they wouldn’t want any of that to somehow get into their “science” textbook.

    Beat me to it. Adding “non-avian” as a qualifier makes for clunky speech. But I think I’m going to try putting up with it to hammer the point about heredity. For one thing, we’re still fish. We’re just part of a peculiar branch of the family that has adapted over countless generations for life on land. As Chucky D says on the T-shirt, “Embrace your inner fish.”

  12. sbuh:

    But Bronze Dog, we still CALL them Coelecanths, so according to creationists they’re exactly the same and haven’t changed at all and don’t bother bringing out any pesky “evidence” to prove they have because something something magic.

  13. Draken:

    I’m having visions now of a headless T. rex running around the yard- and your neighbours’ yard, and your neighbours’ neighbours’ yard, and on your house, and on your neighbours’…

  14. dingojack:

    Bronze Dog – “For one thing, we’re still fish….”
    Pretty sure the shade of Stephen J Gould wouldn’t agree with you there.
    ;) Dingo

  15. Abby Normal:

    Draken, lets add another dimension to the scene. The modern T-Rex has its syrinx (its version of a larynx) low down in its throat. So it can still screech and cluck as it runs around headless.

  16. Robert B.:

    Technically that does make the book more credible, if you’re a Bayesian and a pedant. Or perhaps, “less incredible.” Of course, that still doesn’t promote the thing above “no one with any sense would even bother reading it” levels.

  17. busterggi:

    But they still say mokele m’bembe and ropens are real so they haven’t learned much.

  18. criticaldragon1177:

    Ed Brayton

    The smarter creationists are the “Intelligent design” folks. They at least make their claims about the creator so vague that the ignorant might not even know which god they’re talking about. Truth of the matter is through, with or with references to the Loch Ness Monster, even they are a joke. creationism in the end can only survive through ignorance or one’s unwillingness to accept reality.

  19. Michael Heath:

    criticaldragon1177 writes:

    They at least make their claims about the creator so vague that the ignorant might not even know which god they’re talking about.

    Not true. The two most famous ID creationists are Bill Dembski and Michael Behe.

    Mr. Dembski equates God to the Christian god as described in the gospel of John, which describes him as the, “Word”.

    Mr. Behe is a devout Catholic. In an interview while promoting his book titled, Darwin’s Black Box, Behe stated:

    I wrote the book. I try to stay completely in my role as a scientist although I’m certainly a Christian and I believe the designer is God.”

    Like all Christianists, they can’t help themselves.

  20. freehand:

    The dinosaurs that look longingly at my blueberries are chased off by my cat, who is blindingly white and will never, ever actually catch a living songbird dinosaur. But “hope springs eternal” and all that.

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