Quantcast

«

»

Aug 08 2013

It’s a Miracle!

Kelly Wright, a Fox News reporter, has a column on their website yelling “it’s a miracle, it’s a miracle!” after a woman manages to survive a plunge into the Chesapeake Bay in her car. And to show how serious his arguments are, he begins by quoting noted philosopher John Bon Jovi.

“Miracles happen everyday, change your perception of what a miracle is and you’ll see them all around you.” — Jon Bon Jovi

If rock stars can believe in miracles, so can you.

Yeah, because I know when I’m wondering about serious questions like the nature of reality, the first person I think to ask is an aging hair metal singer.

It’s a common problem in the media. Some news organizations distance themselves from any reference to God, Jesus, or miracles, even when it’s germane to the story.

Such is the case with Morgan Lake whose car plunged 40 feet off Maryland’s Chesapeake Bay Bridge into the water below. Incredibly, Morgan managed to survive the horrifying ordeal. Many news outlets have reported her dramatic escape from death after her car but her mother explained to me, when I met both of them Tuesday, that some of those stations and networks deleted Morgan’s words of gratitude to God.

During my interview with Morgan, she emphasized that she wanted the whole story told. She wanted me to let you know how God’s supernatural power gave her superhuman strength to break free from a watery grave.

Right. And all those other people who drown every day? God said “screw em”? And the millions and millions of children around the world suffering from starvation, malnutrition and disease? God loves you so gosh darn much that he interfered to save your life but doesn’t give a shit about all of them? Is that really what you tell yourself so it all makes sense? Because it doesn’t make sense. At all.

36 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. 1
    Avicenna

    There was a depressed father out here who threw his daughter off a bridge then jumped after her. Two bystanders jumped in after her and saved her. The father died.

    So what? God only saves rich white americans? Not depressed brown people?

  2. 2
    Gregory in Seattle

    It is just as reasonable to say that Poseidon wouldn’t accept her self-sacrifice, or that Dagon wasn’t hungry at the moment.

  3. 3
    Matt G

    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. -Carl Sagan

    That which can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence. -Christopher Hitchens

  4. 4
    Larry

    Why did god allow her car to plunge into the bay, anyway? Shouldn’t he have stopped the truck before it struck her car? What kind of sick fuck would allow that to happen?

  5. 5
    Matt G

    The real miracle in this story is that Bon Jovi was albe to make a music career without musical talent, and then get one of his songs quoted in a major “news” outlet. As an actor, he is OK, but when he comes on the radio, off goes the radio.

  6. 6
    raven

    Needless to say, god caused her car to go off that bridge.

    God is in charge and everything happens for a reason. Thiis is straight fundie xian and Mormon thinking.

  7. 7
    raven

    God is in charge and everything happens for a reason.

    This means that god kills millions of Americans every year.

    Quite often they die in horrible ways. Drownings, murder, car wrecks, the odd terrorist, fires, brain eating parasites, cancer, etc.. These are miracles too, divine intervention to control the world.

    As gruesome and dumb as this sounds to 21st century minds, this is also straight fundie and Mormon belief.

    It’s just fatalism, the idea that whatever happens, happens and individuals have no control over it. They get upset if you call it fatalism though. And then turn around and call it Predestination and Calvinism.

  8. 8
    raven

    If you try to make sense of what substitutes for xian thinking, you can’t do it. It’s all incoherent and frequently ugly.

    If god is in charge and everything happens for a reason, where is free will and individual responsibility?

    To cite another common example, god the creator made satan and the demons and lets them run around doing whatever they do. Which means satan and the demons are god’s agents on earth. Thanks god, we humans really need their help screwing up things.

    This is absurd enough that around half of all US xians no longer believe in satan or hell.

  9. 9
    Erik

    I give two more years before FOX News and Worldnut Daily become indistinguishable from each other. Perhaps there’s a merger in their future?

  10. 10
    scienceavenger

    Bon Jovi is absolutely correct (another line I never thought I’d utter). If you change the standard for miracle from “the impossible requiring divine intervention” to “the merely highly improbable, though not nearly so improbable as the ignorant might think”, then sure, you’ll see them all around you. Big deal.

    Christians do this all the time, lowering the miracle bar for their supposedly omnipotent god. Surviving a 40 foot plunge in a car isn’t a miracle. Having the car stop in midair above the water, allowing a safe exit, would be. Breaking out of the car isn’t a miracle. Flying back up to the cliff, car in hand, would be.

    Come on Christians, your god should be held to higher standards.

  11. 11
    Larry

    A real miracle would have been to have her car hover above the surface of the water, turn towards the shore, and make its way to a gentle landing on the beach. Shouldn’t be a problem for a god, right?

  12. 12
    Dave Maier

    I never thought I’d defend Jon Bon Jovi, but 1) like Matt G says above, he’s an OK actor, and 2) more to the point, Ms. Wright has, I think, failed to understand what he’s saying, which I take to be something like “change your perception of what a miracle is — i.e., not ‘God broke the laws of physics to save my life’, which never happens, but instead as something more mundane but no less wonderful — and you’ll see them all around you.” That reading is more plausible on its face … but I may be being too charitable here. Anyway, Jon, go back to acting.

  13. 13
    Dave Maier

    See, scienceavenger, great minds think alike!

  14. 14
    timgueguen

    Of course if it had been Layla Hussein, a devout Muslim, who was trying to get out the “good news” that Allah saved her, Wright wouldn’t touch the story.

  15. 15
    dingojack

    Adam Savage survived in similar circumstances*. It’s a miracle – or perhaps not..
    Dingo
    ——–
    * See Mythbusters, season 8 episode 12.

  16. 16
    dugglebogey

    I don’t believe I would appeal to Jon Bon Jovi’s expertise on anything other than the most effective use of hair spray.

  17. 17
    Reginald Selkirk

    change your perception of what a miracle is and you’ll see them all around you

    It’s true! By changing my perception of what a miracle is to ‘a ham and cheese sandwich,’ I can eat a miracle for lunch every day.

  18. 18
    demonhauntedworld

    Bon Jovi has better quotes to use:

    Hey God – Tell me what the hell is going on
    Seems like all the good shits gone
    It keeps on getting harder hangin’ on
    Hey God, there’s nights you know I want to scream
    These days you’ve even harder to believe
    I know how busy you must be, but Hey God…

  19. 19
    uzza

    Change your perception of what a news story is and you’ll see them all around Fox News

  20. 20
    Larry

    Let’s test the hypothesis that god saved her. Have her drive off the bridge again and see what happens.

  21. 21
    Ray Ingles

    Well, to be fair, if you’re going to report on a story you might want to accurately quote the person you’re reporting on. If she really did believe that God helped her, then that’s part of the story.

    Whether she actually got help from a God is a different topic…

  22. 22
    jamessweet

    Bon Jovi is half-right: If you change your perception of what a miracle is, you will see them all around you.

    I have chosen to define “miracle” as “coffee mug”. Holy fuck, I see two miracles taking place on my desk right this very minute! Hmmm, I think I might have to fill one of them with coffee. It’s a miracle!

  23. 23
    Synfandel

    I give two more years before FOX News and Worldnut Daily become indistinguishable from each other. Perhaps there’s a merger in their future?

    A bit of news from the frozen north…Sun News, which is Fox News’ anemic little Canadian brother, had applied to the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) for status that would have made it mandatory for Canadian cable companies to carry it on basic cable. The CRTC has rejected the application.

    It’s illegal in Canada for news networks to lie in their broadcasts. Consequently, Sun News isn’t nearly as entertaining as Fox News and hasn’t managed to drum up much of a viewership. Its parent company, Quebecor, lost nearly 17 million dollars on Sun News last year. Faux News North is on life support and not likely to see Christmas.

  24. 24
    cptdoom

    She wanted me to let you know how God’s supernatural power gave her superhuman strength to break free from a watery grave.

    That’s not God, that’s called adrenaline or epinephrine and it is a pretty amazing thing every human carries with them. It’s what allowed my 5’4″/115 lb mother to move a full-size refrigerator with one hand when my sister accidentally started a fire under it (who knew dust bunnies were so flammable?). Of course, my mother’s 5’4″/115 lb frame is why she ended up in the hospital the next day with a severely strained back. Adrenaline gave her superhuman strength, but no superhuman healing abilities.

  25. 25
    teawithbertrand

    I can top this. I drive over a bridge twice a week and God keeps me from driving off of it every time. Miracle!

  26. 26
    Draken

    It’s illegal in Canada for news networks to lie in their broadcasts.

    How on earth do they check that?

  27. 27
    DaveL

    I have chosen to define “miracle” as “coffee mug”. Holy fuck, I see two miracles taking place on my desk right this very minute! Hmmm, I think I might have to fill one of them with coffee. It’s a miracle!

    I use a similar argument when apologists try the more direct “define God into existence” trick. I say “If you’re going to try to redefine God into something whose existence you can prove, I prefer to define God as a ham sandwich, and prove his existence at the local deli, with brown mustard and a pickle.”

  28. 28
    Larry

    How on earth do they check that?

    Well, if its Fox, you listen for one of their anchors to say something.

  29. 29
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Ignoring air resistance, I make it about 1.7 seconds to drop 15 metres (more than 40 feet) from initial v=0. In 1.7 seconds, the car would accelerate downwards to about 50km/h (30 mph) before hitting the water, so eminently survivable in that respect. The hard part would be the need to get out the door immediately, before the car goes under at all, to avoid the pressure problem. If she kept her cool enough to open a window or two before submerging, she should have been able to get out reasonably well. Not easy, to make that assessment within a couple of seconds, but not impossible, either.

    It’s an impressive story, but hardly miraculous. I’d say the lady probably has a good brain for quick thinking, at least.

  30. 30
    busterggi

    I only recognise one miracle – it has nothing to do with god and everything to do with being a tasty alternative to mayonaisse.

  31. 31
    Synfandel

    Draken asked,

    It’s illegal in Canada for news networks to lie in their broadcasts.
    How on earth do they check that?

    The police don’t spend their days fact checking everything that’s said on the news. However, because it is illegal in Canada to broadcast “false or misleading news,” if anyone can show that a news service either knowingly told a falsehood or failed to take reasonable measures to check its facts, it’s in violation of the law. The law is rarely invoked, but it seriously cramps Sun News’ style.

    Such a law can’t exist in the US, because the first amendment prohibits the government from interfering with the “freedom of the press”. The up side is freer expression; the down side is Fox News.

  32. 32
    naturalcynic

    @ R Selkirk #17

    It’s true! By changing my perception of what a miracle is to ‘a ham and cheese sandwich,’ I can eat a miracle for lunch every day.

    It would be if you were a Lubivicher rebbe.

    And what about “the miracle of birth”. Happens all the time. The biggest miracle is that it happens to most women more than once.

  33. 33
    D. C. Sessions

    Oh, wow. She had a 34 mile-per-hour impact into a soft surface. It should have been impossible to survive the impact.

  34. 34
    Donovan

    Funny, cause I just got off the phone with God and he said he’s the one that pushed the bitch’s car off the bridge. Not only did she manage to get out, but she did it before he could get a bull shark into her car with her. He’s seriously disappointed, now. If there’s one thing God loves, it’s watching brutal and gory deaths. He said he’ll just start some shit over in Syria again.

  35. 35
    freehand

    D.C., if you think that water has a soft surface, you have obviously never done a belly flop off a high dive.

  36. 36
    freehand

    On seeing miracles:
    .
    “Try closing one eye and looking at it sideways w’ the other.”
    – Darby O’Gill to Michael, who could not see the leprechaun in front of him.

Leave a Reply

Switch to our mobile site