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Kenyan Lawyer Wants to Replay Jesus vs Pilate

In one of the most bizarre stories I’ve ever seen, a Kenyan lawyer wants to hold a retrial of Jesus Christ and convict the state of Israel and several others, most of them dead, for killing him unjustly. And he’s asking an international tribunal to hold the trial.

A Kenyan lawyer has filed a petition with the International Court of Justice in The Hague, suggesting that the trial and crucifixion of Jesus Christ was unlawful, and the State of Israel among others should be held responsible, Kenyan news outlet the Nairobian reported on Friday.

Dola Indidis, a lawyer and former spokesman of the Kenyan Judiciary is reportedly attempting to sue Tiberius (emperor of Rome, 42 BCE-37 CE), Pontius Pilate, a selection of Jewish elders, King Herod, the Republic of Italy and the State of Israel.

“Evidence today is on record in the Bible, and you cannot discredit the Bible,” Indidis told the Kenyan Citizen News.

Although those he suggests should have been convicted during the original trial have not been alive for more than 2,000 years, Indidis insists that the government for whom they acted can and should still be held responsible.

“I filed the case because it’s my duty to uphold the dignity of Jesus and I have gone to the ICJ to seek justice for the man from Nazareth,” Indidis told the Nairobian. “His selective and malicious prosecution violated his human rights through judicial misconduct, abuse of office bias and prejudice.”

Indidis apparently named the states of Italy and Israel in the lawsuit because upon the attainment of independence, the two states incorporated the laws of the Roman Empire, those in force at the time of the crucifixion.

Yeah, uh…good luck with that.

Comments

  1. raven says

    1. Tiberius, Pilate, Herod, Judas, and all the rest of the biblical people aren’t dead!!!

    That is the good news. The bad news is that they are now all Mormons.

    At least according to Mormon mythology and their baptism of dead people.

    2. They really aren’t all Mormons though. I baptized all dead Mormons to New Age Pagans in a moving ceremony involving a donut and cup of coffee. My spiritual powers over the afterlife are every bit as powerful as all Mormons who ever lived. (So are my cat’s, inasmuch as it’s all zeroes.)

    3. The key point here, jesus isn’t dead!!! In fact he got a status upgrade and is now god. Where is the tort (injury) here? At least according to xian mythology.

  2. Ex Patriot says

    This goes byond stupidity, It certainly helps one to understand why lawyers are not thought of to highly of. I would assume that this would go into the trash quickly and he should go with it into the shredder.

  3. Trebuchet says

    I have to confess, my first thought on seeing “Kenyan lawyer wants to replay Jesus vs Pilate” was “Why would Obama want to do that?

    Oh, and you need to fix a blockquote.

  4. says

    One more reason: ancient Isreal didn’t kill Jesus either, according to the story. He wasn’t stoned, he was crucified, which is a Roman method of execution. So he should be charging the oldest government which can claim to be the successor of Rome: the Vatican.

  5. b. - Order of Lagomorpha says

    I’ve never understood the reasoning:
    1. Everybody’s a filthy sinner since “The Fall”.
    2. Jesus had to die and be resurrected (or, rather, be inconvenienced for a couple days) to save everybody.
    3. God is omnipotent.

    So, Judas carried out his part of the plan, the religious leaders carried out their part of the plan so that everybody could be saved so you therefore revile them? Huh? What part of, “If Jesus wasn’t sacrificed for your sins, you’d have no chance at redemption” do these people not understand? If the Romans had said, “Meh. We’ve got bigger fish to fry” and Jesus had opened his own chain of carpentry-while-you-wait shops and died of old age, everybody would go to hell. You’d think they’d have parades in honor of Judas and the Jews, wouldn’t you?

    Reason #437 for being an atheist: there isn’t enough aspirin in the world to deal with the headaches resulting in trying to follow religious “logic”.

  6. raven says

    Jesus had opened his own chain of carpentry-while-you-wait shops and died of old age, everybody would go to hell.

    Where would xianity be if jesus had gotten 5 years in jail with time off for good behavior?

  7. exdrone says

    If Indidis is looking to get a posthumous conviction, I recommend that he confer with Sergei Magnitsky’s prosecution team.

  8. dingojack says

    Well wouldn’t it rather depend on exactly when Jesus was supposedly crucified?
    Between ca 26 – 31 ce, the person in charge of the Roman Empire would have been Lucius Aelius Seianus, so how come he’s not on brief?
    :) Dingo.
    ———-
    * Jesus would have 33 years between 28 and 30 ce. The first day of Passover falls on a Thursday in 27 ce (8 April) and 30 ce. (4 April)..

  9. Randomfactor says

    “… You cannot discredit the Bible,” [citation needed]

    The Bible. Checkmate, atheists!

  10. says

    I heard that Indidis, Taitz, Klayman and Staver are launching an international law firm to fight injustice and fake birth certificates world wide. The firm’s logo will be a jousting lance and a windmill.

  11. Al Dente says

    What does Indidis expect to get from this trial? His grandstanding won’t do anything but embarrass some people living today who had nothing to do with something which supposedly happened a couple of thousand years ago.

  12. D. C. Sessions says

    Al Dente, please remember that they’re real big into collective guilt and vicarious salvation.

  13. sigurd jorsalfar says

    @14 He probably expects to score some points with the big guy upstairs … and piss off some Jews.

  14. raven says

    What does Indidis expect to get from this trial?

    A Reality TV show.

    All those people and beings are still around. They just aren’t embodied right now.

    Jesus who is god needs to stop being a slacker and show up once in a while. A TV show would do it.

  15. matty1 says

    This trial should absolutely go ahead on condition that Jesus Christ himself takes the stand and he’ll have to prove his identity with an authentic birth certificate signed by King Herod and a DNA test from Yahweh showing him to be the father.

    Once that small matter is dealt with it should go fine.

  16. rabbitscribe says

    ““Evidence today is on record in the Bible, and you cannot discredit the Bible…”

    Paging Dr. Carrier… Dr. Richard Carrier… Paging Dr. Carrier…”

  17. John Pieret says

    Ex Patriot @ 2:

    Now, now … all professions suffer their (can I say “loons” here still?) differently based in reality members. It will be the lawyers at the International Court of Justice who will, after much laughter, no doubt, who will consign this petition to the circular file.

  18. savagemutt says

    The defense will just point to witnesses who saw the so-called victim walking around just fine three days after his supposed death.

  19. Chiroptera says

    … it’s my duty to uphold the dignity of Jesus….

    Well, by filing this case you’ve already blown it.

    Hey, I’m just sayin’, is all!

  20. Lofty says

    Calling the NT authors up as witnesses one could ask them: “:Were you there?”
    I believe they weren’t.
    Case dismissed.

  21. Michael Heath says

    Lofty writes:

    Calling the NT authors up as witnesses one could ask them: “:Were you there?”
    I believe they weren’t.
    Case dismissed.

    Which is exactly the type of argument many conservative Christians use to justify their denialism of an old earth, evolution, or past climate change events.

  22. says

    I heard some fundie kook on the radio yesterday explaining why this is a misguided effort. You see, as well intentioned as the Kenyan lawyer might be, Jesus had to die, he was born to be crucified, so it’s bad theology to think that it should have gone another way. That’s what’s wrong with the effort.

  23. DaveL says

    Clearly the first thing to do is to serve a writ of Habeas Corpus on whoever has actual custody of Jesus’ physical body.

  24. freehand says

    ace of sevens: Why would the modern state of Israel be responsible? Shouldn’t it be the Catholic Church, who’s the modern successor of the Roman Empire?
    .
    Actually, the Romans only let the Jewish elders use their facilities. According to the Christian myths, Pilate said that working on the Sabbath and heresy were not Roman crimes, and he washed his hands of the affair. (Literally. apparently they used actual basins and water as a public ceremony announcing a disassociation of a person from some matter or other.)
    .
    Then, as Friday sundown approached, the enemies of Jesus worried that he wouldn’t die by the Sabbath and asked a Roman spearman standing nearby to finish him off. The Romans are not responsible for his execution, the jealous temple-associated elders were. Certainly not modern Israel. He was executed by biblical law, anyway. Also, too, this is all hearsay. We would need either witnesses willing to testify or hard evidence.

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