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Hagee Not a Rock and Roll Fan

Growing up as a Christian teen in the early 80s, I remember reading one of Bob Larson’s anti-rock music books and finding it pretty funny. Even Christian rock could let the demons in, they claimed, when it really just let shitty music in. John Hagee tells his congregation that rock music is “Satanic cyanide” and should be burned. It really must be weird to live in such perpetual fear of things that don’t exist. Being afraid of demons is no different than being afraid of goblins or leprechauns.

Comments

  1. Don Williams says

    In my opinion, John Hagee’s most haunting fear is that wealthy men will no longer need him to shill and will stop dumping the big checks into his collection plate. Second most is probably an IRS audit.

    Whereas he should really fear what Jesus said happens to hypocrites who preach “prosperity doctrine”
    (Matthew 25:31-46 )

  2. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    John Hagee tells his congregation that rock music is “Satanic cyanide” and should be burned.

    The chemist is me wonders how “Satanic cyanide” differs from plan old cyanide.

  3. Don Williams says

    “Satanic cyanide” TM is a Rolling Stones trademark:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBecM3CQVD8

    “Please allow me to introduce myself
    I’m a man of wealth and taste
    I’ve been around for a long, long years
    Stole many a man’s soul and faith

    And I was ’round when Jesus Christ
    Had his moment of doubt and pain
    Made damn sure that Pilate
    Washed his hands and sealed his fate”

  4. Scr... Archivist says

    kemist @2,

    I suppose its molecular structure would (somehow) form a pentagram, and its fire diamond would read 666.

  5. says

    Even Christian rock could let the demons in…

    …because even if something calls itself “Christian,” other Christians will hate and reject it because it’s different, and the kind of Christians who listen to scum like Hagee are too simpleminded and brittle to tolerate anything that’s different from what they “grew up” with.

    CS Lewis’ Narnia books got the same reception: even though they were obviously repackaging a Christian message for kids, it didn’t look exactly like what they’d already seen, so it had to be evil.

  6. says

    The chemist is me wonders how “Satanic cyanide” differs from plan old cyanide.

    You still feel its effects after you’ve died and gone to Hell?

  7. Sastra says

    I once had a friend who wouldn’t let the My Little Pony dolls into her house if they had wings or a unicorn horn: it invited demons. When I asked her to explain she said that anything which was ‘not natural’ and not of God (Christian) somehow changed the atmosphere (?) of a house and allowed demons to enter.

    When I pointed out that real ponies were not green, pink, and purple she got flustered and said she just “asked her pastor” to divide the line. I dropped it, grateful (and surprised) that neither her fundamentalist pastor nor she apparently thought the presence of an atheist was likely to draw dark forces.

    Or maybe she knew not to tell him she was letting an atheist into the sanctum.

  8. arakasi says

    Back in my freshman year in college, the school’s chapter of Campus Crusade for Christ went to the freshman dorms to show the “documentary” Hells Bells. I went to the show because they had cookies, and I stayed because it was the funniest thing I had ever seen at that time.

    It started with a film clip from a Fleetwood Mac concert in which a shirtless Mick Fleetwood was drumming on his chest and dancing around the stage. The clip froze, zoomed in on him, and the narrator announced ponderously “This man is obviously possessed by Satan”

    The movie then went on to claim that back masking is inserted into records by Satan because “no person is smart enough to know what words would sound like when heard backwards” The narrator also held an egg in front of a speaker blaring music, paused for an obvious jump cut, then pealed the now mysteriously hard-boiled egg.

    Then they showed the music that is god-approved. Just imagine the music you would expect to hear playing over a scene of a dozen pre-teen children running through a meadow.

    With puppies.

    Yeah, it was that bad.

  9. Alverant says

    #7
    I remember one of my gradeschool friends stopped liking Transformers because his preacher said they were “deceptive” even though the Jesus fish was supposed to be a disguise or something. It’s really sad how religion can be used to ruin a childhood. That’s Michael Bay’s job.

  10. Skip White says

    Reminds me of the little recorded bit at the beginning of “God Only Knows” by the band James.

  11. raven says

    What is the difference between fundie xianity and any primitive superstition?

    Nothing except sometimes it is on TV, a decidely modern means of communication.

    Rock music, Tarot cards, Yoga, Halloween, Harry Potter books, college and college students, science, the Easter Bunny, Dungeons and Dragons, atheism, women wearing pants, gays, cats; the list of hates and fears of the superstitious is long and ever growing.

    Oh well, at least they provide the normal people with a long and ever growing list of things to be amused about.

    The world moves fast these days. What is next for them to be afraid of? Cell phones? The internet? Google? Electric cars? MRI machines? It’s time for them to update their demonology.

  12. CaitieCat says

    CS Lewis’ Narnia books got the same reception: even though they were obviously repackaging a Christian message for kids,

    It’s funny, people say this all the time, but I think it’s a relic of growing up in a Christianized world. I read those books, and never once thought of Christianity – because I didn’t know the basic myths of Christianity, having thankfully had parents who didn’t force religion on me. People say how obvious it is, but if you’re not swaddled in the Bible, the Christian message is in no way “obviously” Christian.

    I got to read them and just enjoy them for the stories, for the fantasy of getting to go to another world and be a ruler, and pondered that few people would think as much of the fantasy if it were to go to a pseudo-mediaeval world and be not the ruler, but the third assistant potwasher of the midnight shift. Which led me to looking at the Great Man theory of history, and a whole bunch of fun topics.

  13. Ben P says

    It’s funny, people say this all the time, but I think it’s a relic of growing up in a Christianized world. I read those books, and never once thought of Christianity – because I didn’t know the basic myths of Christianity, having thankfully had parents who didn’t force religion on me. People say how obvious it is, but if you’re not swaddled in the Bible, the Christian message is in no way “obviously” Christian.

    What kind of a question is that for the Jesus Allegory Lion?

  14. raven says

    Sastra @7

    I guess that pastor skipped the part of the bible that mentions unicorns as a real animal, too.

    The bible also mentions dragons. And cockatrices.

    And of course, the dinosaurs, at least according to Ken Ham and the creation pseudomuseum.

  15. Sastra says

    michaelbrew #15 wrote:

    I guess that pastor skipped the part of the bible that mentions unicorns as a real animal, too.

    Well then, there’s a niche market for some clever entrepreneur who can print up that Bible verse on plastic unicorns. Voila — a demon-safe fantasy playtoy for the unicorn-deprived.

    As I recall, my friend was worried that make-believe magic might make her son think that the magic in the Bible was make-believe too. Thus she had to hover around and listen in when the kids were moving around their action figures, dolls, and stuffed animals in case something got too fantastical. Demons and Doubt, in other words. It must have been a non-stop concern.

    (As I recall, my friend’s husband seemed to be a bit of a controlling *sshole — so she could have placed her concern elsewhere. She was bright and clever, though. It’s been over 25 years since I saw her. Bet she’s figured some things out since then.)

  16. exdrone says

    The problem with inviting the Prince of Darkness into your home is that he always shows up without beer, the mooch. That’s when you need to cast him out.

  17. raven says

    Thus she had to hover around and listen in when the kids were moving around their action figures, dolls, and stuffed animals in case something got too fantastical.

    Most of us have seen a few kids who grew up in those sorts of households.

    1. It was pretty miserable for the kids. They realized early that their parents were kooks and their religion was kooky. Kids have a lot of contact with other kids and that has a huge influence.

    2. The kids often enough escape although it’s not always easy. They sometimes end up leaving their parents behind in their self made demon haunted darkness, to have a normal life. One girl who grew up JW ended up as a lawyer. She hasn’t seen her parents in two decades and could care less.

  18. eric says

    @12 – I had a wicca friend who said the same thing. Read them as a young teen or pre-teen, liked them, didn’t realize they were intended as Christian theology until in her late 20’s.

    Of course, with the sacrifice on the stone table and all that, they might have been too well hidden for a young wiccan. A lot of “christian themes” are common across other religions, so when you dress them up in wierd symbology, is it any surprise that some readers see their own religions or a more general ‘fantasy magic’ in them?

  19. eric says

    As I recall, my friend was worried that make-believe magic might make her son think that the magic in the Bible was make-believe too.

    That’s almost worse than thinking the toys let demons in. With the demon thing, its just supernaturalism. But the above…that’s basically acknowledging that if your kids learn critical thinking skills (like contrasting story A with B), your religion comes out badly, so you’ve decided to stop them from practicing critical thinking skills.

  20. Draken says

    One girl who grew up JW ended up as a lawyer.

    Now that’s tragic indeed. She could have become a garbage collector or a homeless drunk, but lawyer… see what religion does to you.

  21. raven says

    that’s basically acknowledging that if your kids learn critical thinking skills (like contrasting story A with B), your religion comes out badly, so you’ve decided to stop them from practicing critical thinking skills.

    It’s admitting that the real enemy of your religion is…reality.

    The real world is going to be a tough opponent to overcome. You can’t burn it at the stake or even throw it in jail.

  22. caseloweraz says

    Arakasi: The narrator also held an egg in front of a speaker blaring music, paused for an obvious jump cut, then peeled the now mysteriously hard-boiled egg.

    He must have peeled that egg with one hand badly blistered by the hellish heat that the sinful music radiated (or conducted or convected) into it.

    No, wait: It was a Christian hand, therefore immune to damage. Like the hand of Jesus’s disciple in a movie I saw long ago in Sunday school: “A viper came out of the bush and bit him on the hand. His hand didn’t even swell.”

  23. caseloweraz says

    Gee, I don’t know about that message from Queen. It might well be, “Run to choke Nirvana” — meaning the grunge band, or course.

  24. CaitieCat says

    Of course, with the sacrifice on the stone table and all that, they might have been too well hidden for a young wiccan.

    Exactly! Plus, I hated that scene. I didn’t think it was the least bit fair that the awesome talking lion dude was going to get killed, and he was just going to lie there and let them do it. I thought, “What the fuck kind of message is this, ‘if someone’s going to kill you, let them’?” I’m more of a nature-red-in-tooth-and-claw type, and yes, I was saying “what the fuck” when I was 9 and started reading them. Ever since my mother had punished me once for saying “fuck” at the dinner table when my Nan and Granddad were ’round, I figured it had to be an awesomely powerful word, so I used it every chance I could get.

    Yeah, that wasn’t one of my mother’s finer parenting moments.

  25. Al Dente says

    Alan Freed used the term rock and roll in 1951 to describe what most people would call rhythm and blues. The first commercially successful R&R record was Bill Haley and the Comets’ “Rock Around the Clock” in 1955. So rock and roll has been around for about 60 years. Hagee seems a bit late with his anti-rock rant.

  26. Compuholic says

    If he can get worked up so much about Rock ‘n Roll it would be fun to hear what he has to say about Metal :-)

  27. bmiller says

    I had a Slayer cassette once that I left on the front shelf of the car interior. given that I live in interior Northern California, it melted. Our Administrative Assistant saw that and made the…appropriate…comments. :)

  28. says

    Sastra, no wings or horns? But Rainbow Dash is the best pony!

    CaitieCat, I also got to enjoy Narnia just for the stories — when I read them as a kid. Now when I go back to them, it’s a bit difficult to ignore the subtext.

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