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Suit Claims Driver’s License is Mark of the Beast

A woman in Oklahoma is suing the state, claiming that it’s a violation of her religious freedom to require her to get a driver’s license because — wait for it — the license is the Mark of the Beast mentioned in that terrible acid trip recorded by someone named John in the book of Revelation.

The local woman said she believes our government is using a similar facial recognition system.

She said it’s already being implemented with high-resolution pictures and measurements taken when you get your driver’s license picture and provide your fingerprint.

Norman resident Kaye Beach remembers the day she first realized this when asked to submit her fingerprint.

She said, “’Do I have to do this,’ and they said, ‘Or you can’t have the driver’s license.’”

That was in the mid-2000s.

She complied but spent the next several years researching what she said she believes is the beginning stages of the mark of the beast.

I love the use of the word “researching” in that sentence. How exactly does one “research” something like that?

She now has no valid driver’s license, a small sacrifice she says to uphold her religious freedoms.

Then why are you suing? Can you say motion to dismiss? I knew that you could.

Comments

  1. John Pieret says

    In the immortal of Bloom County’s judge: “Clear the court you loons! This is @#%! ridiculous!

  2. cswella says

    Researching the mark of the beast? I wonder if I can get a grant to do that from Liberty or ORU?

  3. Randomfactor says

    She doesn’t have to get a driver license. She can show her faith by walking like her savior did. (Actually, according to the joke, he owned a Honda but didn’t ever mention it.)

  4. davidct says

    Perhaps this could be an example of how unsupervised reading of holy books can lead to mental problems. Of course she could just be a pain in the ass.

  5. OverlappingMagisteria says

    She better check her “research” again. According to Revelation 13:16-18 the mark of the beast has these characteristics:

    1. You will be forced to have it
    2. It will be on either your right hand or forehead
    3. It is a requirement for buy and selling things
    4. The mark will be either the name of the beast or his number: 666

    A drivers license fills exactly zero of these requirements.

  6. Artor says

    “…It’s a violation of her religious freedom to require her to get a driver’s license…”
    “She now has no valid driver’s license…”

    So who exactly is requiring her to get a license? I’m not seeing the problem here.

  7. says

    She doesn’t have to get a driver license. She can show her faith by walking like her savior did. (Actually, according to the joke, he owned a Honda but didn’t ever mention it.)

    Blasphemy! Everyone knows Jesus bought American. He drove a Ford F-150 with a confederate flag and Truck Nutz ™, just like it says in the Bible.

  8. iknklast says

    It’s sad that whenever I see Oklahoma in the lead on a story like this I have to check to make sure it’s not a member of my family. Fortunately, not this time.

  9. Alverant says

    #7
    With voter ID laws and people checking IDs for credit cards and checks your third point is almost true. You also need a government form of ID to get a job and open a bank account. Now I know you can get a non-drivers license as a form of ID (I even got one one time when I had to renew my driver’s license), but to many people your drivers license IS your ID and nothing else is allowed. True, it’s not legal but that’s what clerks have been trained to think.

  10. says

    Mr Ed “So close, my license has 668 making me the neighbor of the beast”
    Small world. I’m 667, across the street. And, I don’t mean to be a bother, but can you mow your lawn once in a while? And that old fridge has been sitting there for months. I mean, if Satan in 666 can keep his lawn cleaner than yours…

  11. D. C. Sessions says

    Everyone knows Jesus bought American. He drove a Ford F-150 with a confederate flag and Truck Nutz ™

    Heretic!!!

    Jesus was a Chevy dude!

  12. sailor1031 says

    did jesus have a gun rack in the back window of his Full-size All-american Pickup-Truck? whatever it was? if not he weren’t no true savior…….

  13. says

    I did a bunch of research over the weekend while doing my laundry. Did you know that the pharaohs of ancient Egypt were actual aliens?

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