Bryan Fischer Goes All Cindy Jacobs

Bryan Fischer does his best Cindy Jacobs impersonation, spinning a lurid tale of his history of fighting demons and casting them out of children and himself. I think maybe Fischer and Jacobs should form a superhero duo to fight demons. Their chief weapons: surprise, fear and a bottomless bowl of spaghetti.

13 comments on this post.
  1. John Pieret:

    No one expects the Spaghetti Inquisition!!!

  2. raven:

    Fighting demons is easy.

    I’m as good as all the Popes, priests, Mormons, Catholics, and fundies put together. A true Galactic scale superhero demon persecutor.

    So is my cat.

    Demons don’t exist so it doesn’t take a whole lot to overcome them.

    PS You don’t even want to know what I did to Sauron and the Ghouls.

  3. grumpyoldfart:

    Fischer is just a fuck-wit telling lies for money. He’ll check the donations chart tomorrow and if it shows a spike he’ll make demons a regular part of his broadcasts. No spike. No more demons.

  4. sigurd jorsalfar:

    If you’re going to have delusions, why not have medieval ones?

  5. Trebuchet:

    Fighting demons is easy.

    I’m as good as all the Popes, priests, Mormons, Catholics, and fundies put together. A true Galactic scale superhero demon persecutor.

    So is my cat.

    Demons don’t exist so it doesn’t take a whole lot to overcome them.

    Cats ARE demons. Just ask PZ.

  6. Mr Ed:

    FYI Bryan, for the record Hellboy is fiction

  7. beelzebubba:

    sleep paralysis, it’s a thing

  8. Jackie, Ms. Paper if ya nasty:

    I can’t believe that that people this out of it are allowed to be caregivers to children.

  9. blf:

    Their chief weapons: surprise, fear and a bottomless bowl of spaghetti.

    Yeah, if the FSM actually showed up, I’d be surprised and in fear that some of the pasta would go to waste.

  10. busterggi:

    Remind me, who was it that supposedly created these demons in the first place?

  11. Subtract Hominem:

    PS You don’t even want to know what I did to Sauron and the Ghouls.

    Note to self: start a band named Sauron and the Ghouls.

    Additional note to self: Don’t let Raven backstage at Sauron and the Ghouls concerts.

  12. bushrat:

    I almost had a demonic encounter once, but luckily I was leaving the building just as Ann Coulter was walking in. I still have nightmares.

  13. Woof:

    Child abuse, plain & simple.

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