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Jul 26 2013

Bryan Fischer Goes All Cindy Jacobs

Bryan Fischer does his best Cindy Jacobs impersonation, spinning a lurid tale of his history of fighting demons and casting them out of children and himself. I think maybe Fischer and Jacobs should form a superhero duo to fight demons. Their chief weapons: surprise, fear and a bottomless bowl of spaghetti.

13 comments

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  1. 1
    John Pieret

    No one expects the Spaghetti Inquisition!!!

  2. 2
    raven

    Fighting demons is easy.

    I’m as good as all the Popes, priests, Mormons, Catholics, and fundies put together. A true Galactic scale superhero demon persecutor.

    So is my cat.

    Demons don’t exist so it doesn’t take a whole lot to overcome them.

    PS You don’t even want to know what I did to Sauron and the Ghouls.

  3. 3
    grumpyoldfart

    Fischer is just a fuck-wit telling lies for money. He’ll check the donations chart tomorrow and if it shows a spike he’ll make demons a regular part of his broadcasts. No spike. No more demons.

  4. 4
    sigurd jorsalfar

    If you’re going to have delusions, why not have medieval ones?

  5. 5
    Trebuchet

    Fighting demons is easy.

    I’m as good as all the Popes, priests, Mormons, Catholics, and fundies put together. A true Galactic scale superhero demon persecutor.

    So is my cat.

    Demons don’t exist so it doesn’t take a whole lot to overcome them.

    Cats ARE demons. Just ask PZ.

  6. 6
    Mr Ed

    FYI Bryan, for the record Hellboy is fiction

  7. 7
    beelzebubba

    sleep paralysis, it’s a thing

  8. 8
    Jackie

    I can’t believe that that people this out of it are allowed to be caregivers to children.

  9. 9
    blf

    Their chief weapons: surprise, fear and a bottomless bowl of spaghetti.

    Yeah, if the FSM actually showed up, I’d be surprised and in fear that some of the pasta would go to waste.

  10. 10
    busterggi

    Remind me, who was it that supposedly created these demons in the first place?

  11. 11
    Subtract Hominem, a product of Nauseam

    PS You don’t even want to know what I did to Sauron and the Ghouls.

    Note to self: start a band named Sauron and the Ghouls.

    Additional note to self: Don’t let Raven backstage at Sauron and the Ghouls concerts.

  12. 12
    bushrat

    I almost had a demonic encounter once, but luckily I was leaving the building just as Ann Coulter was walking in. I still have nightmares.

  13. 13
    Woof

    Child abuse, plain & simple.

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