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Jul 25 2013

Ray Comfort Makes a Fruit Salad

Apparently feeling as though he hasn’t been humiliated enough after declaring the banana is the “atheist’s nightmare,” Ray Comfort has now swept through the produce section and finds proof of God’s existence in every fruit he can get his hands on.

Ray Comfort: I’m going out on a limb here, but I will do it for Richard Dawkins–the man who believes that he’s the cousin of the banana.

I can’t help but see design in an orange. It is a healthy drink in a sturdy but easily removable wrapper. I see design in an apple. It’s just the right size for the human hand (a place for the thumb and forefinger), is a small meal in itself, and with this one you may eat the wrapper.

The water melon is in an easily accessible container–a portable and preserved tasty drink that contains enough juicy liquid to be served for a whole family.

The coconut isn’t so accessible to a city dweller, but those in the know can access its healthy long-lasting liquid in seconds.

It’s true; I see design everywhere–even in the Professor Dawkin’s sweet healthy cousin in its perforated wrapper, and the reason I see design is because I know the Designer, and (as the Bible says) to know Him means to possess everlasting life.

Right. Just like I know that a leprechaun makes it rain because I know the leprechaun. And if you don’t, it’s because he has hardened your hearts. Or you just don’t have enough faith. Or you’re possessed by demons.

43 comments

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  1. 1
    amenhotepstein

    The coconut, the pomegranite, the pineapple… these are clearly evidence AGAINST a designer!

    If you live by the fruit, you die by the fruit…

  2. 2
    unbound

    Wow…banana man still hasn’t learned his lesson. There are no sweet oranges in the wild…bitter oranges were used for medicinal purposed in the middle ages in Europe, but the sweet ones we eat today follow a similar pattern of cultivation as the banana.

  3. 3
    catbutler

    I just love all those beautifully designed poisonous mushrooms and berries. They’re pretty handy to have around too.

  4. 4
    Captain Mike

    And don’t even get me started about watermelons. Remember what they were like when you were a kid? I hated those things. You took one bite and spit out/choked on about 50 gigantic seeds.

  5. 5
    krisrhodes

    Relevant XKCD

    http://xkcd.com/388/

  6. 6
    John Pieret

    I see design everywhere

    As in the Ebola virus, Malaria parasites, earthquakes, tsunamis, childhood cancers, etc., etc.?

    Nice designer you have there.

  7. 7
    Doug Little

    This guy’s a fucking idiot.

  8. 8
    ArtK

    Courtesy of Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin and Shelley Duvall:

    Vincent: Oh no. The problem. The problem, Pansy! It’s started again!
    Pansy: Oh! Oh, don’t worry, darling!
    Vincent: Ohhh… ohhh…
    Pansy: I say!
    Vincent: I must have fruit!

  9. 9
    boadinum

    It’s not just the fruit:

    “All things scabbed and ulcerous
    All pox both great and small
    Putrid, foul and gangrenous
    The Lord God made them all”

    It’s The Meaning of Life

  10. 10
    arakasi

    In one respect, he is right. Every single one of those foods (except maybe the coconut) he mentions had a designer. Unfortunately for Comfort, the designers are known to be human. The features he praises were deliberately induced by selective breeding to get the fruits we know today.

    The modern day Cavendish banana was bred into existence in 1836, but only really became popular after the Gros Michel crop was nearly completely wiped out by the Fusarium oxysporum fungus. A large number of hobbyists bred new cultivars of apples in colonial America, and several of the 7500 current varieties of apples can be traced to their origin by reading their journals. Watermelons have been bred for increased water content & improved flavor since at least Twelfth Dynasty Egypt.

    I know Comfort is aware of this, since much of the mocking he got about his banana comments referenced the history of the species. So what we have here is the refuge in audacity gambit.

  11. 11
    rory

    Is this guy so stupid that he honestly thinks these constitute good arguments in favor of a god, or do you think he just sees it as a useful rhetorical device?

  12. 12
    shouldbeworking

    This is how Wikipedia describes a fruit designed by a sky fairy: The fruit are about the size of a large apple with a smooth and hard shell which when ripened is a lovely orange colour. The meat of the fruit is soft and white with a jelly-like pulp containing five seeds covered with a soft woolly substance.

    Too bad the fruit is from the Strychnos tree which contain lethal amounts of strychnine. All part of some design, I’m sure.

  13. 13
    eric

    Shark: “these humans come in such slow-moving and easily-opened wrappers.”
    Tiger: “tasty, too. Like a pig but with no tusks and practically no sense of smell or hearing. They are trivially easy to sneak up on.”

  14. 14
    rturpin

    And he didn’t mention the grape?

    Idiot.

  15. 15
    Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    The comments following his post are so much fun…

  16. 16
    Reginald Selkirk

    The durian is certainly evidence for Satan.

  17. 17
    jamessweet

    Yeah, what arakasi said: Except for the coconut, those fruits are all like that because they were bred to be like that — evidence of a designer, indeed, but a distinctly human, nonsupernatural designer.

    And the coconut — WTF, he’s just grasping at straws there. “It’s hella hard to open, but some people have gotten quite good at it… therefore, designed!” By that logic, everything is designed. “The mess my dog vomited on the carpet wasn’t easy to clean up, but I managed to do it with cleaning products — evidence that the vomit was designed to be cleaned!”

  18. 18
    d.c.wilson

    Wild almonds are poisonous.it took selective breeding by humans to make them edible.

  19. 19
    Bronze Dog

    …the reason I see design is because I know the Designer, and (as the Bible says) to know Him means to possess everlasting life.

    To complete the circular logic, if we asked for evidence of the designer, he’d cite his perception of design.

    As others have mentioned, there’s counter-examples in the form of difficult and/or poisonous fruits that need to be explained. This leads me to ask just how well Comfort knows this designer and if he can use that alleged knowledge to make better predictions about the natural world than the scientific consensus. If he can’t do that, how can he say he knows the designer?

  20. 20
    d.c.wilson

    Never mind fruit. Animals are proof of a designer! Why else would they be made of meat?

  21. 21
    Skip White

    Reginald Selkirk @16:

    Not only does the durian smell and taste awful, but cut in half it sort of looks like a dead horseshoe crab. So there are at least three senses it assaults!

  22. 22
    sigurd jorsalfar

    If God designed all these wonderful fruits just for us, what was that whole getting kicked out of the Garden of Eden thing about anyway?

  23. 23
    steve oberski

    @catbutler

    I just love all those beautifully designed poisonous mushrooms and berries.

    There is a pretty fine line between poisonous and psychoactive.

    Now there’s convincing evidence for designed.

    Kudos to our brace ancestors that discovered the difference.

  24. 24
    kantalope

    “…the reason I see design is because I know the Designer, and (as the Bible says) to know Him means to possess everlasting life.”

    Why did the designer design Ray to die if Ray is supposed to live forever?….Bad, bad designer. Best flood the joint and start over.

  25. 25
    Don Quijote

    What a lemon.

  26. 26
    Matt G

    God also made cannabis sativa, absolute proof that He is Good and wants us to be happy (apologies to Ben Franklin). As for the coconut, I wonder how many fingers have been lost throughout history harvesting that healthy, long-lasting liquid.

  27. 27
    some bastard on the net

    God also made cannabis sativa, absolute proof that He is Good and wants us to be happy…

    Thus saith the Lord thy God, “Let the good times roll!”

  28. 28
    caseloweraz

    Comfort: The coconut isn’t so accessible to a city dweller, but those in the know can access its healthy long-lasting liquid in seconds.

    So I guess God didn’t intend for us to dwell in cities.

  29. 29
    Abby Normal

    I can’t help but see design in the computer network used to transmit this information these words. God is truly incredible.

  30. 30
    brundlefly

    If the apple is sized perfectly for the human hand, why isn’t the watermelon?

  31. 31
    exdrone

    Obviously, Comfort does not find science books to be accessible.

  32. 32
    theignored

    Doug Little at comment #7:

    You have no idea…
    https://www.facebook.com/official.Ray.Comfort/posts/575792439107900

    Reposted here:
    http://forums.fstdt.net/index.php?topic=4145.0

  33. 33
    theignored

    Even worse…Ken Ham apparently sees nothing wrong with this, as he endorsed Ray’s newest anti-evolution movie. Yeah. A person who is that astoundingly ignorant of biology is trying to tell us that biologists are wrong about evolution.
    http://blogs.answersingenesis.org/blogs/ken-ham/2013/07/12/spectacular-new-film-evolution-vs-god/

    And Comfort’s not even honest about it either.
    http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2013/07/23/ray-comfort-confesses/

  34. 34
    d.c.wilson

    Ray Comfort is the Ground Hog Day of creationists. Every morning is a repeat of the same arguments he made yesterday and the fact that they were all debunked yesterday is completely forgotten.

  35. 35
    whheydt

    As regards coconuts and city dwellers… *This* city dweller has an electric drill and suitable drill bits. getting into a coconut in seconds is trivially easy.

  36. 36
    dingojack

    20 seconds?!? Why so slow?*
    Fijians can do it in about 5 seconds with only four blows of a machete.
    :) Dingo
    ———-
    * does that include finding the transformer, finding a socket, finding where you put the drill bits, finding where the hell you put the chuck, finding the right diameter wood bit, installing aforesaid drill bit and etc.?

  37. 37
    JJ831

    OT @Dingo
    Who uses a chuck these days? I love my old Craftsman drill for it’s actual power (as it’s corded and mighty old), but these days I find drills are usually chuckless. I hate ‘em, but that seems to be par for the course.

    Also, to answer your question

    inding where the hell you put the chuck

    In the little hole below the teeth (on the drill of course)

  38. 38
    Moggie

    Ray seems to think that being “cousin of a banana” is demeaning. Personally, I find the evidence for common descent to be fascinating and cool. Seriously, when you look at a plant and remember that it and you have genes in common, and that the two of you have a common ancestor, deep in time, how can that not inspire you?

    Ray, if your sense of self-worth depends on feeling superior to fruit, perhaps you need to set your sights a little higher?

  39. 39
    dingojack

    JJ831 – Ah I see your problem. You thnk you own a chuckless drill.
    : D Dingo

  40. 40
    congenital cynic

    @ 37
    The chuck is built into the drill (at least in my two it is). The thing you put in the little hole to secure the bit is the “chuck key”.

    And to add to the evidence for design…

    Bacon – therefore pigs were designed, and smokehouses were placed upon the earth by angels.

  41. 41
    Moggie

    God designed pigs to be eaten, and then told his chosen people not to? What a jerk!

  42. 42
    Nick Gotts

    I can’t help but see design in an orange. It is a healthy drink in a sturdy but easily removable wrapper. – Ray Comfort

    But why is it so sticky and full of pips? Answer that, Bananaman!

  43. 43
    Loqi

    I love that he tried to pass off the original banana thing as a joke, then years later he quadruples down on it in all sincerety. The Groundhog Day analogy is perfect.

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