Delgaudio Gets Disciplined by County Board


You may recall that our old friend Eugene Delgaudio, a member of the Board of Supervisors of Loudon County, Virginia, was under investigation for a variety of accusations of misusing his position on the board for personal gain. That board has now handed down some discipline (and not the kind I bet he’d like):

The Loudoun County Board of Supervisors took decisive disciplinary action against Sterling Supervisor Eugene Delgaudio on Wednesday night, issuing a strong condemnation of problems identified in a special grand jury’s report about the veteran public official last month.

In three separate votes, the supervisors moved to formally censure Delgaudio; to place his district budget under the control of the full board, except for minor expenditures; to remove his staff aides; and to prohibit him from serving on any county, local and regional committees…

The board’s action came in response to a June 24 special grand jury report that marked the end of a months-long criminal investigation of Delgaudio, who faced accusations by a former staff aide that he used his county office to benefit his political campaign.

The special grand jury did not indict the Sterling supervisor, but the jurors took the unusual step of issuing a report that outlined a number of possible problems with the operation of Delgaudio’s public office. Those issues included the potential misuse of county resources and county employees; a suspicion of unreported campaign donations; a lack of focus on constituent services; a hostile work environment; and the blurring of lines between work done for his county office and his anti-gay, conservative nonprofit organization, Public Advocate of the United States.

Delgaudio is basically a grifter. He makes his living by sending ridiculous emails to his mailing list full of ignorant and perpetually terrified people, telling them that those evil gay Muslim atheists are coming for them and that he’s the only one preventing it. Just how dull are those people? Dull enough to find lurid tales like this convincing, apparently:

One stormy night I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I’d heard something was up and wanted to see for myself. As I rounded the final turn my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses. Trembling with worry I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined. Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling. My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more petitions were flying off the press. Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, “Delgaudio what are you doing here?” Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, “This time Delgaudio we can’t lose.” Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Radical Homosexuals could win.

If that makes you open up your wallet and send money, it’s pretty incredible that you managed to get the email without burning your house down in the first place.

Comments

  1. Doug Little says

    That reads like a pathetic detective novel, and people believe this shit?

    Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions

    Te he he he… He said bulging.

  2. cuervodecuero says

    He reads like he’s deliberately going for the prize in the Bulwer-Lytton worst fiction contest. *and* he’s Mary Sue’d himself in as the hero of the piece.

  3. says

    He practically started it with, “it was a dark and stormy night”!

    But pro-homosexual petitions! These people were petitioning the government for redress of grievances, almost as if they had a constitutional right to! The horror! Send money now!

  4. Chiroptera says

    Man, I am such a sucker for bad faux-noir!

    Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, “Delgaudio what are you doing here?” Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, “This time Delgaudio we can’t lose.” Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Radical Homosexuals could win.

    Damn! This would make a great bad movie!

  5. says

    Men with earrings were operating printing presses, and that made him “tremble with worry?” I’ll grant he was trembling with something, but it probably wasn’t worry.

    And what kind of company is so lax in its property-management that a stranger can just walk right into an active work area (dangerous machines and all) without being stopped and asked to sign in, show a badge, put on protective gear, etc.? A restaruant kitchen, maybe — but that’s a business where the curtomers are inevitably close to the active work area. A newspaper or a mass-pringing shop is a different story.

  6. raven says

    Delgaudio is basically a grifter.

    Most of the fundie leaders are.

    The more competent grifters accumulate huge fortunes, tens, hundreds, and thousands (a billion) of millions.

    It all works out.

    Money spent on private jets, mansions, jewelry, fast cars, cute teenage girls and boys, fine wines and drugs, and whatever else money can buy, is money not spent trying to overthrow the government and set up a new Dark Age.

    For any fundie xians who can read or are having this read to you by your minder, check your bank balance. Send it all to the fundie leader of your choice. Delgaudio works as well as any of them.

  7. chilidog99 says

    Ed stated: “(and not the kind I bet he’d like)”

    Cue the outraged accusations that Ed is a homophobe in 3. 2 1 . . .

  8. matty1 says

    I know it’s bad form to accuse homophobes of living in Narnia but this is not helping Eugene.

  9. says

    …and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts…

    Just because there wasn’t quite enough stereotyping involved in the ridiculous story.

  10. Scr... Archivist says

    And after Delgaudio was successfully sent packing, the employees took a much-needed break. The steel mill, er, male-shop turned into a disco, and started blaring “Gonna Make You Sweat.”

  11. MikeMa says

    I wonder if the good citizens of Loudon County will react to this in some positive way by say, firing his ass in the next election? Nah.

  12. John Pieret says

    That reads like a pathetic detective novel Jack Chick tract, and people believe this shit?

    Unfortunately, yes.

  13. cuervodecuero says

    @6 RagingBee, you’re one of those killjoy beta readers, aren’t you. Always with the pointing out of plotholes big enough to drive a mack truck through. Asking for logic and reason and stuff. It’s people like you who hid George Lucas’s true genius from people for decades.

  14. zenlike says

    long-haired, earring-pierced men

    He stumbled on a biker rally?

    Seriously. I thought he was describing a metal-head-mail-catalogue operation.

    It’s also funny that he really has this incredible self-worth, as if any LGBT activist would actually recognise this clown in real-life. IF this would be real, the guy would most likely be saying: “Hey you! Who the fuck are you and what are you doing here trespassing”.

  15. DaveL says

    Men with earrings were operating printing presses, and that made him “tremble with worry?”

    I hear the inserters made him positively quiver.

  16. unbound says

    @MikeMa – the vast majority of Loudoun County residents are unaware of this. Keep in mind that the only difference between Delgaudio and the rest of the Board of Supervisors (BoS) here is the fact that he got caught. Delgaudio has been on the board since 1999, and we’ve been voting the same idiots into office over and over and over again.

    The masses in the county buy pretty much anything the BoS says about everything, and the board is entirely Republicans or Independent*.

    * – Actually Republican, but they call themselves independent so it seems like they are an alternative.

  17. Pen says

    That passage was hilarious! The man’s missed his true calling as a pulp fiction writer!

  18. MikeMa says

    @unbound,
    As sad as your description is, I believe it is true in many places. I know it was true in the very democrat heavy county where I grew up. Rarely did a scandal raise an eyebrow with the voters. You normally died or retired your way out of a supervisor seat.

  19. anubisprime says

    If that makes you open up your wallet and send money, it’s pretty incredible that you managed to get the email without burning your house down in the first place

    If that makes them open up their wallet and send money, it’s pretty incredible that they managed to get hold of the money they send in the first place!

    It is worse then Chic tracts…and I never thought I could ever say that and mean it!

  20. Michael Heath says

    I thought it was very thoughtful of Mr. Delgaudio to capitalize Radical Homosexuals.

  21. ragarth says

    @24

    “I thought it was very thoughtful of Mr. Delgaudio to capitalize *on* Radical Homosexuals.”

    There ya go!

  22. sigurd jorsalfar says

    One stormy night I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I’d heard something was up and wanted to see for myself. As I rounded the final turn my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and clean-cut, crucifix-wearing men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses. Trembling with worry I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined. Row after row of boxes bulging with bibles lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling. My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more bibles were flying off the press. Suddenly a blonde, blue-eyed man screeched, “Jorsalfar what are you doing here?” Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. As I retreated to my Prius, the man chortled, “This time Jorsalfar we can’t lose.” Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Radical Christian Right could win.

    I swear this REALLY happened to me.

  23. says

    “Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses. Trembling with worry I went inside. . . . Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, “Delgaudio what are you doing here?” Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. As I retreated to my car,” . . . .

    . . . I realized I could claim I was in fear for my life, shoot some people, and use the stand your ground law as defense. Except Virginia has no stand your ground law (yet) and it would probably not justify killing people (even those wearing earrings) while trespassing.

    .

  24. matty1 says

    I thought it was very thoughtful of Mr. Delgaudio to capitalize Radical Homosexuals.

    I saw Radical Homosexuals at one of their first gigs, they were supporting Boxes Bulging.

  25. says

    matty1:

    Good catch.

    It needs to go a whole bunch more viraller than it has already.

    I suppose that Joan of Arc was a 14 yo “whore” too.

    For those who wonder if DeGuano will get shitcanned by the electorate. Not likely. If he did it would not be because he’s a demagogue and a lying fuckweaseldouchenozzle. It would be because he mis-used funds intended to help the sick, poor and disabled for personal stuff–oh,wait, wtf am I thinking?

  26. shouldbeworking says

    I guess I’m to blame for his troubles. I refused to send him money because he refused to believe that ‘.ca’ in my email meant I was in Canada, not California.

  27. iangould says

    “As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, “This time Delgaudio we can’t lose.”

    Surely this is incomplete.

    Shouldn’t there be a bit after …lose” reading “unless [insert name of recipient here] sends $50 to your Paypal account.”

  28. says

    This is redacted:

    “People who say ‘but REDACTED is a terrible person, REDACTED DESERVES to be criticized’ are completely missing the point.

    The point being, criticize REDACTED for the terrible things REDACTED says and does. Criticize conservative consultant groups who send REDACTED vibrators as clueless sexist shitheads. But that’s not what is going on in this thread, as Tyrant clearly observes in comment #31. It was all kicked off by Brayton’s utterly needless shot at REDACTED in his final sentence.”

    I’m sure that it has no bearing in this situation and that DeGuano’s fair game for any and all manners of insult.

    I could be wrong, but that seems to be what I’m reading here*.

    * Me? Yeah I think the guy is a complete piece-of-shit and would like to see him, REDACTED and every miserable bastard like them on the “Loveboat to Hell’s cruise to the Bermuda Triangle”**.

    ** An unwieldy title but a movie I would PAY to see.

  29. kermit. says

    roguemedic: . . . I realized I could claim I was in fear for my life, shoot some people, and use the stand your ground law as defense. Except Virginia has no stand your ground law (yet) and it would probably not justify killing people (even those wearing earrings) while trespassing.
    .
    The law is no obstacle for a righteous man. He would have started shooting, but he could tell by the bulges in the workmen’s pockets that they were carrying bigger guns than he.

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