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Delzell: Magicians Are Demonic

Dan Delzell, an “exclusive columnist” for the Christian Post, has an amusing column about a British magician who performed a levitation trick. Delzell thinks he was actually levitating, with the help of demons. Not the sharpest bulb in the sign, this one.

I had never heard of the magician, Dynamo, until I read about how he floated alongside a double-decker bus in London recently. I watched the video. Personally, I think it was legit. I believe this was a paranormal event and an authentic example of levitation. But it’s not like this sort of thing is completely unheard of today.

Whether the levitation is experienced by young girls playing a dangerous occult “game” at a slumber party, (“Light as a feather, Stiff as a board”) or by street magicians as shown on YouTube videos, paranormal things happen when people engage in practices that are rooted in sorcery, magic and witchcraft. Many magicians and other occultists have experienced levitation and various forms of supernatural power. These sorcerers typically cast spells or perform other rituals in an attempt to conjure the power to accomplish these feats. It is becoming more and more commonplace to see such expressions of magical performance.

What most of these magicians do not realize, however, is that the power to do such things only appears to be under their control. These magical performers are actually being duped by beings with superior intelligence to their own. Just as some magicians engage in illusion, so do the spirits which seduce magicians to go deeper and deeper into their craft. It is incredibly enticing, especially when the performers start to get high on the attention it brings them. While the spellbinding feats such as levitation are very often real, these “abilities” are not under the ultimate control and power of the magician.

Uh, Dan…these are tricks. No demons necessary.

Comments

  1. John Pieret says

    These magical performers are actually being duped by beings with superior intelligence to their own.

    Being duped by “magical performers” pretty much locates Delzell on the spectrum of superior/inferior intelligences.

  2. lldayo says

    The fact that he referenced a movie as if it actually happened should scare the bajeezus out of any readers on the site, even the extremely nutty ones. I doubt that will happen though.

  3. markr1957 says

    Clearly Danny boy isn’t praying hard enough to stop those nasty bad demons from helping magicians perform their stage tricks.

  4. DrewN says

    Magicians have the ability to spawn infinite rabbits out of their hats; they could solve world hunger if they wanted to! But they refuse to! Clearly magicians are evil!

  5. Chiroptera says

    One way to settle this controversy: Does Dynamo weigh the same as a duck?

    Sorry. Obvious joke is obvious.

  6. raven says

    These magical performers are actually being duped by beings with superior intelligence to their own.

    If these demons have an intelligence superior to our own, why don’t they own the earth?

    IF this was true, they should be overrepresented on Wall Street, the government, academia and the professions such as lawyers, MD’s, and scientists. (Hmmm, well maybe Delzell believes this too for this reason.)

    This makes no sense even from a xian theology perspective. Supposedly, we are the crown of creation. Special snowflake beings made in the image of god, the all powerful ruler and creator of the universe. Delzell just demoted us humans.

  7. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    Meh.

    Those are the same people who:

    – burn Harry Potter books ’cause they believe it will make their kids witches and wizards (which would be totally cool)

    – can listen in all seriousness to a woman who confesses that she was a teenage witch before she found jeeebus (one wonders why she left a life of exciting witchcraft for one of boring church)

    Confiscate their TVs, computers and iPhones (which they have no idea how they work anyway, and might as well be, uh, magical), and they are completely undistinguishable from Middle Age peasants.

    Of course that mysterious stranger is a real magician, getting his power from demons.

    Now buy this nice demon-proof amulet from pastor I. Getyourmoney, and let’s all become brave Spiritual Warriors. You can borrow against your house if you don’t have enough cash.

  8. raven says

    What a superstitious moron.

    Magic and witchcraft don’t exist.

    If they did, the military would employ armies of mages, sorcerors, and warlocks.

    Witches would rule Wall Street. MD’s would have store front offices in low rent neighborhoods for people too poor to afford an exorcist or Healer.

    And all the fundie xian leades would have been turned into frogs.

    Why bother levitating a person when you can turn morons into frogs and “correct” your bank balance?

  9. oranje says

    Wait, let me see if I’m keeping up here…

    It’s magic when it’s someone else doing it, just like it’s persecution when someone else is doing it. Is that right?

  10. says

    For once, internet comments are actually a source of relief. Even most of the Christians responding to that post can’t believe he thinks the tricks are real.

  11. JustaTech says

    “Light as a feather, stiff as a board”? Come on, if you’re going to talk about ‘occult’ slumber-party games, stick with the classic Ouija board. On the other hand, if he’s this dumb then maybe the concept of ‘many hands make light work’ is beyond him.

  12. Doug Little says

    I watched the video. Personally, I think it was legit.

    Well there’s your problem.

  13. John Hinkle says

    This Dan Delzell chap reminds me of evolution deniers.

    Evolution Deniers: It’s so complex and wonderful, I don’t understand it. Therefore God.

    Dan Delzell: The levitation looks legit. I don’t understand it. Therefore demons.

  14. wscott says

    Levitating magician goes up, levitating magician comes down. You can’t explain that! [/O'Reilly voice]

  15. DaveL says

    Whether the levitation is experienced by young girls playing a dangerous occult “game” at a slumber party, (“Light as a feather, Stiff as a board”)

    Wait, it’s bad enough he got taken in by a professional illusionist, but this? He actually thinks this little party trick is literal magic?

  16. Nentuaby says

    Huh. I’ve seen images of Dynamo’s “levitation” trick and it didn’t even occur to me that it was a magic trick, let alone “real” magic. He was so obviously attached to a brace I didn’t even think it was supposed to be puzzling, I just thought it was amusing performance art.

  17. sinned34 says

    I’ve been playing D&D since 1985, and still can’t get a single level 0 cantrip or orison to work.

    Mind you, after spending half a decade as a fundamentalist Christian, I eventually learned that the prayers I’d been dutifully praying every single day had every bit as much efficacy as the mage and cleric spells in D&D.

    Maybe that’s why you see people like this running around screaming “witchcraft!”. Christians are convinced that their magic spells work, so they have to assume that other religions’ spells work, too.

  18. petermountain says

    Despite your Poe readings, he’s for real. Dan and I were friends back in college (Concordia Teachers College in Seward, Ne) during the 80’s. Back then he had the heart of an evangelist, even going so far as to try and break into Christian rap. He’s a very nice guy; too bad he never escaped our religious brainwashing.

  19. jamessweet says

    Heh, the sad part is that I was able to correctly determine how Dynamo did the trick on a single casual viewing (it helped that I am familiar with a couple of related illusions). Critical thinking FTW! Magic and demons loses again!

  20. Loqi says

    I so want to pull the “I got your nose” bit on this guy. Do you think his head will explode?

  21. Nick Gotts says

    Back then he had the heart of an evangelist – petermountain</blockquote.

    Don't tell me: he kept it in a small but remarkably heavy box, covered in red leather, and with a black pentagram on the lid, right?

  22. kantalope says

    In other Headlines at Christian Post: Mermaid Seduces Christian Sailors…to Their DOOM!
    and
    Leprechauns Stole Me Lucky Charms

  23. wscott says

    Maybe that’s why you see people like this running around screaming “witchcraft!”. Christians are convinced that their magic spells work, so they have to assume that other religions’ spells work, too.

    Nailed it. There’s a great documentary on gamers called Uber Goober. (Full disclosure: the film maker is a friend of mine.) In one section, he interviews several religious leaders who are positive that magic is not only real, but apparently trivially easy to learn. One prominent evangelical (I can’t remember the name, but you’d recognize it) actually talks about people teleporting into his apartment to attack him!

    That’s why the D&D Player Who Thinks It’s All Real cliche is so infuriating: for the most part, the people unable to separate fantasy from reality are the Christians scared of RPGs, not the gamers playing them.

  24. says

    Apparently he’s never heard of Andre Kole. Besides being a magician, and an illusion designer whose effects have been used by the likes of Doug Henning and David Copperfield, Kole has long been an evangelist, associated with Campus Crusade for Christ. He’ll preform various illusions before discussing why he believes in Jesus.

  25. Larry says

    This guy would be too dumb to extricate himself from a chinese finger trap. Instead, he be yelling how satan is chomping down on his fingers.

    When the fuck is the apocalypse is going to happen to thin out the herd of these numbskulls.

  26. busterggi says

    sinned34 @ 21 above – “I’ve been playing D&D since 1985, and still can’t get a single level 0 cantrip or orison to work.”

    You have to use the white box edition from ’78 for them to work. Along with several gallons of Mountain Dew as a component.

  27. sinned34 says

    WScott @ 28:

    I’ll have to check out that documentary. I played D&D before I became religious, and stopped playing after I’d “gotten saved”. However, even after that, I remember looking at stuff like the Jack Chick tract about “Dark Dungeons” and other Christian propaganda against D&D and thinking “nobody who ever played D&D would be worried that it’s teaching kids how to actually cast spells.” But I kept those thoughts to myself until after I left the church because, you know, Jesus and stuff.

    Busterggi @ 31:

    Aww, that would explain it. I was measuring Mountain Dew in litres, not gallons, and was using the red box manuals (although I played a lot more AD&D than D&D). That’s the problem with spell components: instead of resurrecting the dead, I must’ve accidentally made the cat huge or something.

  28. tbp1 says

    Doesn’t James Randi refer to himself as an “illusionist” rather than “magician” so as to make it clear that what he’s doing are actually tricks?

  29. drizzt says

    LOL! I wish my MTG games were real then! Milling or using Stasis were my favorites… Maybe it did work and I milled a future Dan Delzell :)

    NB : Milling means emptying the opponent’s deck, and it symbolizes emptying his mind. Stasis was a card used to «block» a deck and prevent the deck from functioning properly(with the help of other cards).

  30. Nomad says

    Many years ago I realized something. I was reading an article in the newspaper that talked about some religious types that were opposed to Halloween because they thought it was real. Real evil spirits, real witches, that kind of thing. It was the usual thing, that the kids might think it’s fun but their immortal souls are in peril from the real evil.

    And I realized that the problem was these adults couldn’t tell the difference between real and make believe, while the kids could. And that in that way the kids were far more mature than these religious believers would ever be.

    More of that here. People like Delzell here have been taught that there are no rational explanations, that life is full of inscrutable mysteries that must be chalked up as “magic”. I see a magic trick and I try to figure out how it’s done. Sometimes I can see it, sometimes I can’t. But I wouldn’t have figured any out if I didn’t even try and decided it was just actual magic.

  31. dingojack says

    petermountain – For some reason the following came to mind:
    Those that can, do; and those that can’t teach
    With the obvious addition: ‘those that can’t even teach – write for the Christian Post’. :)
    Dingo
    ——–
    NB: no offence intended (to you).

  32. John Pieret says

    Dingo:

    For some reason the following came to mind:
    “Those that can, do; and those that can’t teach preach

    Fixed that for ya.

  33. dingojack says

    Or I suppose:
    Those that can do, those that can’t teach“* – those that can’t even teach, preach.
    :) Dingo
    ———-
    * Man and Superman G. B. Shaw

  34. says

    “Not the sharpest bulb in the sign, this one.”

    Nor the brightest knife in the drawer! {;>)

    Fuckin’ magnets, they’re demonic, too!

  35. raven says

    There is a lot of things going on with the Delzells of the world.

    Which FWIW, number in the tens of millions in the USA. Roughly half of all xians believe in satan, demons, and hell. This isn’t too bad, considering it was a central belief of xianity. As to how many demon believers, actually believe stage magicians, college professors, and scientists are aided by demons, well who knows, probably a lot less.

    1. Superstitious ignorance. An inability to tell fantasy from reality.

    2. Tribalism. We believe the same silly and stupid things, so we are members of the same tribe. This is very powerful in shaping beliefs. Look at the Mormons, Moonies, or Scientology.

    “We believe reading Harry Potter books will turn our kids into wizards fighting evil, so we belong to the tribe of Superstitious Moron Xians.”

    3. Follow the money. There is a con in all of these fundie xian leaders. They are selling hate and fear to their members for money. Pat Robertson made a billion USD doing this. Delzell seems to be low on the food chain. Magic and demons seems so 20th century. I believe the current hate and fear targets are gays, Moslems, atheists, scientists, nonwhites, and Democrats.

  36. chilidog99 says

    Wasn’t a variation of that levitation trick on “America’s Got Talent” the other day?

    Maybe we should call it America’s Got Demons.

  37. martinc says

    sinned34 @ 21:

    The secret to using D&D spells in real life is timing. I always made a point of casting Create Food And Drink when I heard Mom’s footsteps on the basement stairs bringing the pizza and sodas. Sure, most of the other players weren’t fooled, but nevertheless I noticed they became a little bit wary when I finally got Power Word Kill.

  38. areyouashoggoth says

    Raven at 11:

    Why bother levitating a person when you can turn morons into frogs and “correct” your bank balance?

    Levitate is a 2nd level spell whereas polymorphing someone against their will is a 4th or 5th level spell, depending on the edition. It’s way easier.

  39. dingojack says

    What you mean Abbie Hoffman was less than 2nd Level? How disappointing*.
    Dingo
    ——-
    * or maybe his personal demon had a hernia

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