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Jul 19 2013

‘Coach’ Dave: Ban Divorce

“Coach” Dave Daubenmire says it isn’t enough to prohibit same-sex marriage, but we have to ban divorce too. And he says any Christian who doesn’t agree with him is destroying marriage. But remember, it’s liberals who hate freedom and want to impose their laws on Christians. Or something.

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17 comments

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  1. 1
    Gregory in Seattle

    If he really wanted to legally mandate traditional, Bible-based marriage….

  2. 2
    richardelguru

    Of course banning divorce is exactly what an Act like DOMA should have done…

  3. 3
    Reginald Selkirk

    Well, he sorta has a point. Divorce obviously does destroy marriage, one marriage at a time. In a way that gay marriage does not.
    And unlike gay bashing, which has support only in Leviticus and some lesser New Testament work, the anti-divorce position has support from Jesus H. Christ himself. So Christians shouldn’t get divorced. Which says nothing about forcing their views on the society at large.

  4. 4
    roggg

    It’s all about the freedom… The freedom to not be allowed to do what you want to do. Yeah freedom!

  5. 5
    eric

    And unlike gay bashing, which has support only in Leviticus and some lesser New Testament work, the anti-divorce position has support from Jesus H. Christ himself.

    The exact same story in which the ‘no divorce’ advice occurs has Jesus saying that no one should get married or have sex (FWIW, the citation is Matthew 19). Being a eunich/celibate is what Jesus actually suggests – he basically says that marriage is for the wimps who can’t hack his actual advice.

    So, technically, Louis et al. should be preaching life-long single celibacy as the ultimate goal of all Christians, with marriage being merely the least sinful/evil of the non-celibate options.

  6. 6
    Larry

    Has some sort of environmental change caused these religious zombie-jesus freak-a-zoids to start coming out during the daylight hours? Kind of like worms coming up from the ground after a heavy rain, it seems like something is driving these idiots out in order to impose their made-up rules on everyone and its getting worse each passing day.

  7. 7
    Freodin

    The exact same story in which the ‘no divorce’ advice occurs has Jesus saying that no one should get married or have sex (FWIW, the citation is Matthew 19). Being a eunich/celibate is what Jesus actually suggests – he basically says that marriage is for the wimps who can’t hack his actual advice.

    This is, as most of the Bible, very open to interpretation. A less bloodthirsty interpretation is the exact oppositie of what you present here: that Jesus basically says that celibacy is for the wimps who cannot stand staying married to one woman.

    But one way or the other: he is quite clear on the “no divorce”.

    So Mr. Daubenmire is on theologically sound ground here. Hopefully he gets a lot more publicity for this one… so that everyone can see how useless and unworkable this “Christianity” of his in our modern society is.

  8. 8
    Modusoperandi

    Woah, woah, woah! I’m fine with all these Moral Family Values rules and regulations, but this is a step too far! It could effect me!

  9. 9
    Loqi

    And if you marry a wife beater, too bad! You should have gotten youself beaten ahead of time, so you’d have known not to marry that guy.

    Consider that my application for the position of True Believer. I can haz legions of unthinking followers who send me money now?

  10. 10
    Bronze Dog

    The next step in the regression to “traditional” barbarian marriage: Force marriages between rapists and their victims.

  11. 11
    exdrone

    The problem is that marriage is too important to trust to the general public. And this freedom of choice meme is just asking for trouble. We need to go back to arranged marriages, and if we really want to sort this out, we need to have the decisions made by church elders. Maybe the Unification Church could advise here.

  12. 12
    rbh3

    Coach Dave’s Minutemen United are currently picketing a Vineyard church in central Ohio over the abortion issue. He seems to exceed Ken Ham in his distaste for “compromising” Christians.

  13. 13
    JustaTech

    Don’t believe in divorce? Don’t get one. It’s that simple. Other people’s private lives are none of your business, “Coach”. But I’m going to guess that he is a living example of a great Mark Twain quote “Nothing needs reforming like other people’s morals.”

  14. 14
    rbh3

    Here’s a news story about Minutemen United’s feud with the Vineyard church. Seems the megachurch isn’t as hardline on abortion and homosexuality as Davie’s boys want.

  15. 15
    thebookofdave

    @Reginal Selkirk #3

    the anti-divorce position has support from Jesus H. Christ himself.

    Well, as long as he’s starting to base his opinions on actual scripture, when is he going to admit abortion should be legal (or made a misdemeanor offense, depending on the verse quoted)? Yea, I didn’t think so, either.

  16. 16
    caseyboucher

    Wanda Sykes did a good sketch on this a few years back:

  17. 17
    martinc

    eric @5:

    The exact same story in which the ‘no divorce’ advice occurs has Jesus saying that no one should get married or have sex (FWIW, the citation is Matthew 19).

    Matthew 19 is not the only time Jesus decries divorce. Matthew 5: 31-32 (NIV):

    “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

    And I think you’ve overquoted Jesus on Matthew 19: he doesn’t say “that no one should get married or have sex”. While he mentions celibacy/castration, he doesn’t preference them over marriage. He simply says “don’t get married unless you are prepared to stick by it.” He’s not suggesting people become eunuchs, he’s saying it’s better to be a eunuch than to think you can just divorce and remarry whenever you feel like it. Here’s Matthew 19:10-12, just after Jesus repeats the words from Matthew 5 about divorce I quoted above:

    The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

    Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others — and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

    It’s hard to see how that could be considered evidence for “Jesus saying that no one should get married or have sex”.

    Please note I disagree with Jesus and ‘Coach’ Dave on divorce, but ‘Coach’ Dave appears to be in line with Jesus’s teaching on this, in a way that Newt Gingrich and other serial-marriage Christians aren’t.

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