Baywatch Actress Wants to Find Noah’s Ark


Donna D’Errico, one of the lesser actresses on Baywatch, has launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund a documentary about a trip to Mt. Ararat she wants to take in the hope that she will find Noah’s Ark and, perhaps, her virtually non-existent acting career there.

Donna D’Errico became famous for TV’s “Baywatch,” but she wants to remembered for more than running on beaches with David Hasselhoff in slow motion.

The 45-year-old actress and onetime Playboy playmate wants to find Noah’s ark.

Last summer, D’Errico fullfilled a lifelong dream of visiting Mount Ararat in Turkey in search of the biblical treasure. She didn’t find it, but came close to an area where she believes the ark could be.

Now, she’s is planning a documentary of her return visit later this summer — if she can get $10,000 worth of donations via Kickstarter by July 25.

Of course she didn’t find it. No one ever finds it, after centuries of looking. It isn’t there. It doesn’t exist. There was no Noah’s Ark and there was no flood. And it’s time to grow up and stop pretending there was.

Comments

  1. eric says

    She’s a former playmate and Baywatch star and yet she’s scrounging for $10k at the tender age of 45? Its enough to make me believe in karma.

  2. raven says

    Of course she didn’t find it. No one ever finds it, after centuries of looking.

    Actually Noah’s Ark has been found.

    Many times and in different places.

    As to which of the many finds are The Real Noah’s Ark, well, opinions differ among the true believers.

    This isn’t the brightest idea Donna D’Errico has ever had. Or at least, I hope so. The area around Mt. Ararat is very dangerous. It’s part of the war zone between the Turkish government and the Kurdish PKK insurgents.

  3. Doug Little says

    Does the 10,000 bucks include a budget for crappy b-grade props? If so I’m in.

  4. dean says

    “Donna D’Errico, one of the lesser actresses on Baywatch”

    Haven’t seen that harsh a putdown ever.

  5. davefitz says

    This is actually pretty smart. She’s getting fools to fund her vacation. I’m going to start a Kickstarter to fund my trip to Italy to find Italian food.

  6. Abby Normal says

    I love this idea! I may just have to steal it. Time to hit Kickstarter to crowd source my scuba diving vacation to Greece, er, I mean documentary searching for Atlantis. After that perhaps I’ll look for King Solomon’s mines in Africa, followed by a trip to South America in search of La Canela. I’ll be sure to act surprised when I discover I’ve landed in Rio just in time for Carnival.

  7. zekehoskin says

    There have been lots of floods. The one where the Med overflowed into.the lowlands now forming the bottom of the Black Sea must have been a doozy. Lots of good archaeology to do there. Mt Ararat, not so much.

  8. John Pieret says

    one of the lesser actresses on Baywatch

    I’m not sure how you could come up with a criterion to determine that. It would have to discriminate to nano Planck lengths.

  9. kantalope says

    I’m thinking of my own kickstarter now– a search for the lost ark combined with survivorman. If I do find the ark – I’ll have to use it to start a fire. And then combine that with ghosthunters and I’ll wave around random electronic devices and try yelling at Noah to tell me where the rest of the ark is…oh yeah. I’m gonna get picked up by History channel for sure.

  10. sqlrob says

    @Modusoperandi:

    Afraid to search for the ark for the same reason I’m afraid to search for the remnants of Barad-dûr.

  11. kantalope says

    @13 If you find the big contact lens…we’ve been looking for that thing since the whole ‘crack of doom’ incident.

    In Search – of the Ark….I’ll need Leonard Nimoy to narrate. Thanks Modus!

    History Channel here I come!11

  12. slc1 says

    Re raven @ #2

    Actually, the Turkish Government and the Kurds have buried the hatchet in response to the ongoing events in Syria.

  13. Scr... Archivist says

    Maybe I should start raising money to search for El Dorado. My other plan would be to fund a mission to find Cockaigne, but that might confuse people.

  14. naturalcynic says

    For those who just can’t help being skeptical about this whole thing: From the website celebrity net worth…

    Donna D’Errico is an American actress and model, with a net worth of $5.5 million. Donna D’Errico has earned her net worth modeling for Playboy, and starring in Television shows like Baywatch. D’Errico was born in Dothan, Alabama, and before she started modeling she own a limousine company in Las Vegas.

  15. dshetty says

    Donna D’Errico, one of the lesser actresses on Baywatch
    So you are publicly confessing to watching baywatch? tsk tsk.

  16. reasonbe says

    @15: That’s half the money. Perhaps she’ll go and not come back?

    @19: oh. So why is she asking for money? She’s smarter than I look.

  17. eric says

    Anything in Norway need finding?

    Noah’s fjord. Home to the dreaded western fjord monkey (and other animals that missed the ark).

  18. Abby Normal says

    Anything in Norway need finding? I’ve always wanted to go to Norway.

    Heorot, the great hall from Beowulf is a possibility. Like the Noah’s Ark, it has been found a couple times. It’s about due to be found again.

  19. blf says

    Anything in Norway need finding? I’ve always wanted to go to Norway.

    Beer which doesn’t cost two arms, a leg, and yer eldest son?

  20. raven says

    Anything in Norway need finding? I’ve always wanted to go to Norway.

    Bifrost, the rainbow bridge. Asgard. A giant snake. A giant wolf with a name. Frost giants. The World Tree.

    Watch out for the Frost Giants though. There is some evidence that they are still around and come out in winter.

  21. lorn says

    I think it was Bob Ballard, explorer of Titanic and Bismark fame, who advanced the idea that the Biblical flood may have had roots in the flooding of what would become known as the Black Sea when the naturally formed dam between the Mediterranean and the basin failed. Evidently the Black Sea basin was long populated by farmers who took advantage of the rich soil and favorable climate.

    The water would have rushed in rather slowly, and taken weeks or months to fully fill so people who fled early would have made it out but too much delay could be fatal. It is not inconceivable that some farmer may have recognized the danger and manufactured a boat with which he could save his family and livestock.

    Of course this would mean that the event was much smaller than the Biblical version. It didn’t involve the world as we know it. Rather just a small section of it. And it likely was just domesticated animals instead two, or seven, of every kind. But the Black sea is pretty big by human standards. Looking at the old Rand McNally I guess 400 by 800 miles. Given the lack of high-speed transport, and the likelihood that a lot of those people were born, lived and died, in a rather small territory, they might be forgiven for considering their world flooded.

    Add in a thousand years of story telling, a good bit of embellishment, a deep need for the tellers to make the story a religious allegory to advance their designs of having a religion based upon their own internal psychodrama and, if you squint just right, you can kind of see how an actual even may have become the Biblical story. It also has to be noted that other cultures in the area also have stories of a bucolic existence interrupted by a flood.

    Of course, if there were a storied flood in the Black Sea basin, and a boat that saved a family and its livestock, and assuming traces might survive, they would be somewhere near the coast of the Black Sea, possibly the Crimean Peninsula.

  22. pacal says

    Of course Noah’s Ark has been found. What about all that wood found that smelled of Teriyaki sauce.

  23. markr1957 says

    Wonder how she’ll react if she discovers a boat built by Ziusudra after he was warned by Enki to build a boat so he could survive the flood caused by Enlil getting angry at all the noise those pesky humans were making.

    @ blf – for surviving the cost of beer in Norway I strongly suggest you take lots and lots of chocolate bars to trade for alcohol. Dairy products are even harder to get there, and people will trade children for Hershey bars.

  24. says

    It is unlikely that the authors of Genesis meant the modern Mt. Ararat in Turkey. About all you can get from the various ancient texts and opinions is that no one had the slightest idea what was meant by “the mountains of Ararat.”

    She should consult the Gilgamesh version, as that is at least known to accurately describe a real, identifiable mountain.

  25. Angus Merrill says

    @29 – Children for Hershey bars? Interesting. My cardiologist is on my arse again and has recently instructed me to give up chocolate bars. Does anyone happen to know the cholesterol and saturated fat content of the average Norwegian child?

  26. exdrone says

    To extend Modusoperandi’s comment @12, the second verse of the Baywatch theme song is:

    In us, we all have the power,
    But sometimes it’s so hard to see,
    And instinct is stronger than reason.
    It’s just human nature to me.

  27. peterh says

    @ 23:
    Wouldn’t Heorot more likely be found in Denmark or the Low Countries? Less dank and cheerless would be funding a search of all the lusher tropical isles of the Pacific region in search of Lemuria.

    @30:
    Doesn’t the KJV say “the mountains of [the region of} Ararat”?

  28. left0ver1under says

    We can use telescopes to locate and identify asteroids as small as ten metres long, hurtling through space at tens of thousands of kilometres per hour at a distance of hundreds of millions of kilometres from the Earth.

    Meanwhile, religious nuts cannot locate a 200 metre long boat on a 2000 metre high mountain in a fixed location. They can’t even do it with satellites which have been used to find lost ancient cities covered by undergrowth, debris and other human development.

    And we’re supposed to believe there’s something to find?

  29. magistramarla says

    lorn @ #26
    Another interesting story from that part of the world:
    It was found that people on the far eastern edge of the black sea used sheep skins to sift gold out of the rivers. They would dredge the bottom of the river with the skins, then hang them to dry. They could then shake the gold dust out of the wool.
    Bring to mind a familiar story? Of course! The Golden Fleece!

    Archaeologists found what is thought to be the ruins of Troy in a part of Turkey that overlooks the narrow entrance into the Black Sea. It probably guarded a very profitable trade route. Did Helen start the Trojan War, or was it a trade war that became romanticized?

    These are stories and questions that I posed to my students when I taught Latin and Ancient Mythology. After that, I would tell them the Greek creation and flood myths and tell them about the flooding of the Black Sea that you mentioned. I was careful to not question xtian mythology (Texas, after all), but I planted the seeds of skepticism in a few minds.
    Bwahahaha!

  30. rapiddominance says

    Of course she didn’t find it. No one ever finds it, after centuries of looking. It isn’t there. It doesn’t exist. There was no Noah’s Ark and there was no flood. And it’s time to grow up and stop pretending there was.

    Lets suppose that someone DID find it? How would we know that it was Noah’s and not somebody else’s?

  31. sugarfrosted says

    This is like a plot to a bad episode of Bay Watch Nights, only with a criminal lack of David Hasselhoff.

  32. Robert Harvey says

    This is one of those things that has occurred with metronomic regularity for my entire life.

    1. Discovery of Noah’s ark. (Even though the Bible says “the mountains of Ararat” and not “Mount Ararat.”)

    2. Discovery of Amelia Earhart’s airplane.

    3. Discovery of the real Atlantis.

    4. Discovery of cold fusion.

  33. sailor1031 says

    “I want to find R’lyeh

    No you don’t – you really don’t. Besides, if they want you the deep ones will find you – wherever you are. Watch out for strange wet prints on the floor and slimy, cold door handles…….

  34. francesc says

    @39 I remember that someone found a 2000 years old little fisher boat and it was authomatically named St. Peter’s boat. Why would anyone need more proofs?

  35. mucklededun says

    My kickstarter proposal contains a sliding scale for potential contributors:
    $50 – – – be an extra in a crowd scene!
    $100 – – – be an extra who appears to die horribly
    during an apocalyptic disaster scene!
    $250 – – – -be the hunchbacked lab assistant with
    several speaking lines!
    $500 – – – -help write the screenplay!
    $1000- – – -entitles you to bid for the catering contract!
    Your name will appear in the crawl!
    (Other supporter reward categories available upon request.)

  36. birgerjohansson says

    @ 17 “Anything in Norway need finding? I’ve always wanted to go to Norway”

    , see
    “A tantalizing hint of an ancient Norwegian trading town” http://phys.org/news/2013-07-tantalizing-hint-ancient-town.html
    ..and with a bit of creativity, you might argue that this is where Joseph, Mary and Jesus went after leaving Betlehem. Cue campaign to finance an expedition.

    If you want to read up on the local culture, here is “Beowulf in under 90 seconds” http://www.gocomics.com/richards-poor-almanac/2013/04/04

  37. birgerjohansson says

    @ 29, 30

    If Gilgamesh finally found an elixir for immortality, he may be behind reports of the yeti. I recommend an expedition to the alps. During ski season.
    BTW Mulder and Scully stumbled over those ancient conquistadors that had been searching for the spring of immortality. A very good reason to do research in Florida.

  38. says

    “Of course, if there were a storied flood in the Black Sea basin, and a boat that saved a family and its livestock, and assuming traces might survive, they would be somewhere near the coast of the Black Sea, possibly the Crimean Peninsula.”

    Finally! At last we know what started THAT war.

  39. Childermass says

    We should encourage them. Every cent they raise is money that won’t be used for other purposes like political campaigns for far-right candidates, getting creationism in school, building creationist “museums”, etc.

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