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Jul 10 2013

OMG! Even the Cereal is Gay!

Yep, that’s the latest bit of pearl-clutching from the Worldnutdaily. General Mills is adding a rainbow marshmallow to their Lucky Charms cereal and that’s totally make kids become day, dontchaknow. Of course, this is the same outlet that has repeatedly published articles claiming that soy contains estrogen and leads to homosexuality and sterility (someone should tell the Chinese, who don’t seem to be having any problems reproducing even with the bulk of their protein coming from soy).

Did the Supreme Court’s recent decision to unleash same-sex marriage on America leave you hungering to celebrate lesbian, “gay,” bisexual and transgender pride? Well, look no further than your cereal bowl!

General Mills, the company that introduced the nation’s children to characters like the Honey Nut Bee, the silly Trix rabbit and Lucky the Leprechaun, has come out in support of the “gay” community by filling boxes of their cereal brand Lucky Charms with rainbow-colored marshmallows.

The “magically gaylicious” cereal is serving as the face of the new #LuckyToBe campaign which encourages people “lucky enough to be different” to use the hashtag #LuckyToBe when tweeting and posting online.

“We’re celebrating Pride month with whimsical delight, magical charms, and two new rainbow marshmallows,” the #LuckyToBe campaign stated in a press release sent to GLAAD.

NOM is mighty upset about it:

Brian Brown, president of the National Organization for Marriage, or NOM, told WND the General Mills position on same-sex marriage “will go down as one of the dumbest corporate PR stunts of all time.”

“Marriage as the union of one man and one woman is profoundly in the common good, and it is especially important for children,” Brown told WND in 2012. “General Mills makes billions marketing cereal to parents of young children. It has now effectively declared a war on marriage with its own customers when it tells the country that it is opposed to preserving traditional marriage, which is what the Minnesota Marriage Protection Amendment does.”

NOM points out U.S. Census Bureau data indicating that there are just over 100,000 same-sex households in America with children under the age of 18. The group contrasts that with the over 35 million traditional American households with children under 18.

And? What’s the point? None of those 35 million traditional American households is going to be affected in the slightest by marriage equality. And a large portion of them, about 55-60% according to recent polls, know that and support same-sex marriage. Sorry, you don’t get to claim that all straight people agree with you. They don’t.

Dean Chambers has his undies in a bunch too:

We don’t make this stuff up. The hard left does. I can understand Justice Antonin Scalia’s frustration with seeing our country turn rotten and corrupt with all this political correctness, as he saw with the putrid arguments he had to hear justifying same-sex marriage. Rush Limbaugh is right, everything that made this country great, when it was, and helped establish American Exceptionalism, is under assault from the far left.

Everything that made this country great is under assault…by a fucking rainbow marshmallow. Gotcha.

Of course, these are the same people that freak out over possibly eating unlabeled halal food because they apparently think it will turn them Muslim. So if they just eat the gay-inducing cereal with some Muslim-inducing halal meat, maybe it will balance out. Or maybe the cereal will turn them gay and the halal meat will make them want to kill themselves.

33 comments

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  1. 1
    Chiroptera

    We don’t make this stuff up.

    Neither does Ed.

  2. 2
    Nepenthe

    Maybe I ate so much sugary “cereal” that my memory is glazed over, but I recall my childhood Lucky Charms as having rainbows.

  3. 3
    Gregory in Seattle

    “Marriage as the union of one man and one woman is profoundly in the common good”

    Which is why, in the Bible, God ordained polygamy, concubinage and Levirite marriage, among other forms of marriage.

  4. 4
    raven

    Of course, these are the same people that freak out over possibly eating unlabeled halal food because they apparently think it will turn them Muslim.

    Don’t forget the demons lurking inside candy at Halloween.

    Witches put demons in Halloween candy? More could believe that’s …
    www. centerforinquiry. net/…/witches_put_demons_in_halloween_candy/‎

    Oct 30, 2009 – An article by a Kimberly Daniels that went up on Pat Robertson’s … the last day or two warned Christians of the demonic dangers of Halloween.

    Sounds like demons lead very boring nonlives. Stuck inside a piece of candy.

  5. 5
    Modusoperandi

    “And a large portion of them, about 55-60% according to recent polls, know that and support same-sex marriage.”

    And 50% of marriages end in divorce. Which half? I think you know the answer.

  6. 6
    raven

    At least the xians are catching on.

    Their invisible Sky Fairy isn’t very powerful.

    He can be defeated by iron chariots or…rainbow colored marshmallows.

    Quite a demotion for the god who once got mildly annoyed with us and killed all but 8 people. If god can’t even deal with rainbow colored marshmallows anymore, why call it god?

    PS If the kooks thought it through, there are rainbows in the sky quite often. Hmmm, maybe their god is trying to, you know, tell them something.

  7. 7
    Gregory in Seattle

    @Nepenthe #2 – According to the cereal’s Wikipedia article, rainbows were added in 1992. The conservative head-explodings seem to be over the fact that General Mills has added two additional kinds of rainbows with different colors, and the ad campaign itself.

  8. 8
    starskeptic

    To be fair – ‘soy’ protein means something different here than it does in China.

  9. 9
    jeevmon

    I seem to recall rainbow marshmallows having been in the cereal before. Maybe it’s something they had once and then stopped and then decided to reintroduce. But I’m very sure they’ve had rainbow marshmallows at some point in their history and, of course, the box has had a big rainbow on it for years because, you know, their mascot is a LEPRECHAUN. And if they’re going to start saying that leprechauns are gay, they are going to be a lot of pissed of Notre Dame fans hunting for Joseph Farrah’s head.

  10. 10
    Zeno

    Every Bible-believing Christian should be aware that God himself created the rainbow as a sign of celebration at the end of Noah’s flood, a promise to flood the earth no more (except for, you know, New York City, Oklahoma, Chicago, Europe, India, …). Gay people are just taking God at his word that the rainbow means “party time.”

  11. 11
    unbound

    I assume they don’t watch TV anymore or the Skittles commercials would really send them into orbit…

  12. 12
    Nentuaby

    Maybe I ate so much sugary “cereal” that my memory is glazed over, but I recall my childhood Lucky Charms as having rainbows.

    I seem to recall rainbow marshmallows having been in the cereal before.

    Rainbow Lucky Charms are the McRib of the cereal world. They aren’t usually there, but they reintroduce ‘em every time they want to cause another minor splash.

  13. 13
    Reginald Selkirk

    General Mills has some catching up to do, Froot Loops are made by Kellogg’s.

  14. 14
    eric

    Religious conservativism has been politically hooked to free market capitalism for so long now that its hard to think they are different. But I wonder if this will be the issue that finally divides them. Very quickly, capitalist companies are going to start catering to the majority (nonbigoted) opinion. The religious side of the party is going to find themselves betrayed on a fundamental issue by the group they’ve taken as their primary political ally. Interesting times ahead for the GOP.

  15. 15
    blf

    Everything that made this country great is under assault…by a fucking rainbow marshmallow.

    I first read that as “… by fucking a rainbow marshmallow”, and then spent the next several minutes giggling and trying to erase the mental images that brought up.

    Whether “by a fucking” or “by fucking a”, it’s a distraction diverting your attention form the real problem: Teh UN’s black helicopters and orbiting laser cannons which are forcing millions of people into FEMA’s reeducation camps (where they are forced to become gay commie fascist moolsin atheist evilution-spouting 47% parasites), and teh millions of imported mooslins who are sneakily replacing them. So yeah, them rainbow marshmallows are a planetary-collision-grade threat.

  16. 16
    Dr X

    Actually, as someone who has done a lot of protein supplemenation with weight training, I can tell you that soy protein is a problem for plenty of men. In my own case, I pretty quickly get hardened, swolen, painful nipples and loss of sex drive. Happened with soy milk, then happened with tofu. No joke. I stay away from the stuff.

  17. 17
    grumpyoldfart

    How long do you reckon this religious ratbaggery will continue before the preachers and their cohorts realise that it is time to tone down the rhetoric? Decades or Centuries?

  18. 18
    sigurd jorsalfar

    Maybe I ate so much sugary “cereal” that my memory is glazed over, but I recall my childhood Lucky Charms as having rainbows.

    They didn’t have rainbows in them when I was a kid. They had hearts, moons, stars and clovers. Then they added ‘blue diamonds’, although I think that was a bit after I was too old to care.

    However, I did a quick google search and it looks like the rainbows have been around for some time (at least since the 90′s) and they have been using rainbow imagery in their TV ads since at least the 1980s.

    So WorldnutDaily is completely off its rocker in claiming that General Mills is now joining some sort of gay band wagon.

  19. 19
    caseloweraz

    Unbound: “I assume they don’t watch TV anymore or the Skittles commercials would really send them into orbit…”

    They probably stopped watching as soon as they got the NBC peacock off the small screen. “We’re safe now…”

    /snark

  20. 20
    Robert B.

    I guess I should be glad that equality is now popular enough that big companies are finding it profitable to join the bandwagon… but I mostly just feel exploited. My life is now a cereal ad.

    First world problems, I guess.

  21. 21
    Abby Normal

    Don’t forget about Post. Their Fruity Pebbles have been promoting homosexual pedophilia since 1969!

  22. 22
    sigurd jorsalfar

    I guess I should be glad that equality is now popular enough that big companies are finding it profitable to join the bandwagon… but I mostly just feel exploited. My life is now a cereal ad.

    First world problems, I guess.

    This is how you know you are becoming accepted in society – when your subculture is being co-opted by marketing firms and associated with a product ‘brand’. First world problems indeed.

  23. 23
    Modusoperandi

    starskeptic “To be fair – ‘soy’ protein means something different here than it does in China.”
    And Spain.*
     
    * “I am protein.”

  24. 24
    W. Kevin Vicklund

    Aw, man, now you’ve got me craving Lucky Charms again. Which is a problem, since I’m allergic to oats. Maybe if I eat just a small bowl at a time…

    Oh, who am I kidding…. OMNOMnomnomnomnom #totallyworthit

  25. 25
    CaitieCat, in no way a robot nosireebot

    Indeed, my endocrinologist, when I transitioned, warned me away from too much tofu or soy bean (not sauce) consumption, as soy beans contain fairly weak phytoestrogens, which unfortunately bind to the same limited number of receptors as the far more powerful estradiol. It’s not usually so much that the soy estrogens are causing any effect, but rather their impact is in the sense that one’s body is less able to take in the wanted ones.

    Or at least that’s how the doc put it. I’m pretty sure he gave me some journal articles about it, because he knew that I read academic papers for a living (I’m a proofer/editor as well as translator). I’ve no idea where they would be at this point. Probably in my desk somewhere.

  26. 26
    dogmeat

    I’m not too concerned about cereal being gay, I’m more worried about that rabbit stalking the kids… O.o

  27. 27
    exdrone

    Lucky did set his bow in the cloudy milk, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between him and equality-minded consumers.
    - Gen(eral Mills) 9:13

  28. 28
    howardhershey

    As Freud would say, “Sometimes a rainbow is just a rainbow.” And to think otherwise means you need Freud’s services…badly.

  29. 29
    katie

    What? Lucky Charms has had rainbows for a long, long time – since the eighties at least. Sometimes they’ve even had sparkly rainbows. Someone needs to get with the sugary cereal times.

  30. 30
    tbp1

    Just when you think they’ve had the most ridiculous over-reaction to a non-event possible, with the most faux outrage imaginable, they come up with something even more ludicrous to rave about. There apparently is no bottom.

    I wouldn’t eat Lucky Charms on a bet. It’s nutrition-free junk, and the “marshmallows” taste like styrofoam (or at least they did 45 years ago, which was the last time I tried them), but this makes me want to buy a box, even if I throw it away.

  31. 31
    Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened

    I vote every pro-equality person out there makes it their business to drive up sales of lucky charms just to stick it to these ignorant tosspots. Can I get a second?

    Rush Limbaugh is right, everything that made this country great, when it was, and helped establish American Exceptionalism, is under assault from the far left.

    I fail to see why demolishing American Exceptionalism is in any way a bad thing, Mr. Chambers.

    Or maybe the cereal will turn them gay and the halal meat will make them want to kill themselves.

    We can only hope (he garbled, around a tongue firmly planted in his cheek).

  32. 32
    democommie

    It’s worse than we thought, FAR worse.

    The Gaygendarmes have taken over the few small pockets of Hollywood that had previously been straight and GODLY.

    There is going to be a reissue of the first “Ghostbusters” movie. The “Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man” of Dan Ackroyd’s dreams is gonna get RAINBOWIZED!! And then we’re gonna see the alternate ending where he EATS MANhattan!!!

  33. 33
    dingojack

    Demo – How long will it take to wipe the smile of New England’s face?
    :) Dingo

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