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Craft: Anti-Gay States Should Secede

Wingnut Paul Craft, writing at Alan Keyes’ Reclaim America website, says that those states that want to ban same-sex marriage should just go ahead and secede from the United States (yeah, how’d that work out the first time?) because God will bless them if they do.

My opinion is that this day, June 26, 2013, is the beginning of the end for the United States of America. Christians, conservatives, and liberals to a small degree, who believe in the Judeo-Christian values of our forefathers will find them boxed in by the government police and men and women in society who will elect to stay quiet instead of facing pressure from society. We will no longer have a place to hide.

From my perspective, for us to follow the laws handed down by God, we have only one option and that is to secede from the union. Let’s correct that, we as Americans under the sovereignty of God, need to first lift up prayers to our Lord in heaven for direction…

The big question is, what state or states would secede from the union? My belief is if just one state would secede others would shortly follow because things will only get worse. If a new nation is formed under the Laws given down by God and the values passed down by our forefathers, this new nation will be blessed.

Funny, that’s pretty much exactly what the seceding states said in the Civil War too, that the federal government was abandoning God’s law and going against the clear teaching of the Bible by trying to get rid of slavery. And they were right, too, just like the winguts are right today that the nation is not following the clear statements in the Bible. That’s a good thing, of course, not a bad thing.

Comments

  1. Mr Ed says

    I want to be a conservative pundit. The whole article was one paragraph specific to todays outrage and the rest was generic boilerplate. Change the date rewrite three or four sentences and copy/paste and you have a new article.

  2. John Pieret says

    I’d be willing to let Mississippi and Alabama go. It would save me a lot on my taxes here in New York.

  3. says

    Where oh where are “Judeo-Christian values” enshrined in the Constitution?

    Where in the bible does it call for an elected government? With a bi-cameral legislature? And three co-equal branches of government? Where does it call for a right to a trial by jury of one’s peers and the right to face one’s accusers in court? Where does it call for one to have the right to remain silent to avoid self-incrimination?

    Where does the bible teach that cruel and inhuman punishment is wrong?

    Honestly, I can’t find a single “Judeo-Christian” value enshrined in the Constitution with the exception of the concept of slavery.

  4. matty1 says

    @1 That’s still too much work, surely there is some program that can automate the date change and copy the introductory paragraphs from the Fox news website leaving the pundit free to press ‘publish’ and wait for the cash.

  5. matty1 says

    Honestly, I can’t find a single “Judeo-Christian” value enshrined in the Constitution with the exception of the concept of slavery.

    Have you not heard, they wrote the date using a common format of the time as “in the year of our Lord”? That one use of the word Lord is like an 18th Century hyperlink to the Bible and makes the whole biblical text part of the US Constitution.

    Sadly I have seen this argument used seriously.

  6. petemoulton says

    Sad to say, the dumb bastards aren’t going anywhere. Xians love feeling persecuted far too much to ever leave a country where they can gin up fake persecution at a moment’s notice.

  7. Scr... Archivist says

    @1 and @4,

    Maybe the versificator has been upgraded to produce more than songs.

    “There was a whole chain of separate departments dealing with proletarian literature, music, drama, and entertainment generally. Here were produced rubbishy newspapers containing almost nothing except sport, crime and astrology, sensational five-cent novelettes, films oozing with sex, and sentimental songs which were composed entirely by mechanical means on a special kind of kaleidoscope known as a versificator.”
    – George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four

  8. Nemo says

    Please, please do this. Because I can’t wait for the second Reconstruction. This time, we’ll get it right.

  9. atheist says

    Secession is less of a controversy, more of a fantasy. It’s not about what it’s about — it’s about something else. It’s a popular fantasy, lately, though, which vaguely worries me. It’s not just wingnuts threatening to secede over gay marriage, or libertarian idiots talking about “Going Galt“, either. It’s the Northerners slapping their knees, jocularly suggesting the Texans should go ahead, secede. I understand it’s a joke, but I think it’s in poor taste.

  10. says

    @ atheist

    It’s in bad taste to laugh at people who say ridiculous things? Sorry, but that reads like tone-trolling to me. I’m more than happy to laugh at the willfully ignorant. Reason won’t get through, perhaps ridicule will.

  11. says

    It is a well documented fact that conservative, religious states almost always have the highest poverty rates and the highest teen-pregnancy rates and are far more likely to be hit with natural disasters such as hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and drought. They are net takers, draining important national resources away from more prosperous, progressive states.

    I say: “Buh-bye.”

  12. atheist says

    @ArtK – July 1, 2013 at 1:12 pm (UTC -4)

    Of course you’re right, and people who say absurd shit should be mocked. I shouldn’t be so humorless. I guess I feel that everyone is underestimating the damage this fantasy can do. But if we’re about to cut off our nose, again, just to spite our face, then it would be good to laugh about it?

  13. atheist says

    @Gregory in Seattle – July 1, 2013 at 1:13 pm (UTC -4)

    They are net takers, draining important national resources away from more prosperous, progressive states.

    Secession isn’t like divorcing your profligate spouse. It’s more like declaring war on your neighbor. It doesn’t really matter how poor and needy he is, if he decides he wants you dead.

  14. atheist says

    The big question is, what state or states would secede from the union? My belief is if just one state would secede others would shortly follow because things will only get worse. If a new nation is formed under the Laws given down by God and the values passed down by our forefathers, this new nation will be blessed.

    The Religious Right truly is a vector of the Stupid Disease.

  15. kermit. says

    atheist, I understand that this move would have serious, and unexpected repercussions. But discussing the cost of a decision is meaningless without discussing the cost of the alternative (In this case, retaining states like Arizona and Texas). Just a few percentage points in elections and legislative balances could make all the difference. Perhaps a timid president might find it more acceptable to do something substantive about climate change, or the legislature might come up with universal health care, or even bipartisan effort to make most bills work or at least pass.
    .
    The problems would be vast: how do we handle people who don’t want to be trapped on the “wrong” side of the new divide, how would we divvy up the military, etc. But we are facing grave threats to the very existence of the human species, and I am getting quietly frantic about stupid, stupid time-consuming diversions about gay marriage rights, vandalizing sidewalks with chalk, etc.
    .
    Am I arguing that we should allow succession?, No, not really. But I don’t see why it should be dismissed out of hand.

  16. says

    @atheist #16 – But if your profligate spouse agrees to a full divorce and willingly abandons all claims to common property, why not let him go? What benefit can be had by forcing the wastrel to remain in an unhappy partnership?

  17. marcus says

    “We will no longer have a place to hide.”
    As I’ve noted before, there is a shitload of old, unused closets with more coming available all the time. You may avail yourselves of these.

  18. says

    The idiots who think that their AR’s and Barrett .50′s are gonna be the rock against which the U.S. military will break are no less delusional than Craft. There is huge overlap.

  19. atheist says

    @Gregory in Seattle – July 1, 2013 at 2:06 pm (UTC -4)

    But if your profligate spouse agrees to a full divorce and willingly abandons all claims to common property, why not let him go? What benefit can be had by forcing the wastrel to remain in an unhappy partnership?

    I’m saying that the idea of the USA deciding to peaceably dissolve, and then succeeding in doing it without a great deal of death and chaos, sounds naive to me.

  20. exdrone says

    Despite Conservative belief that America was founded as a Christian nation, Craft proposes that it is time to create “a new nation … formed under the Laws given down by God”. From the Flood, to Jesus’s resurrection to a new America, and ultimately to the Apocalypse, it seems that the Biblical god is always looking for a do-over. When do we get to see the big guy’s infallible side?

  21. CaitieCat says

    Unfortunately, the reality of secession would be a nightmare.

    It’s divorce, yes? So they’d get their chunk of the stuff.

    Like, say, nukes, and a good chunk of the world’s most overpowered military. Y’all want President Allen “Nuke ‘em til they’re glassed-over, then a couple more for luck” West with his finger on the button?

    This leaves aside the prospect of living next door to a bunch of liberty-worshipping anti-environmentalist jerks, and the permeability of borders to pollution (and, for as long as the Gulf Stream still works, the shorelines of Blue America are downstream from Red America).

    We here in America Lite have experienced the milder version of this (Purple America being less of everything bad that Red America would be) for some time now, and trust me, it’s no bed of roses.

  22. says

    Would the southern states retain the nukes that happen to be within their borders if they seceded, though? Or would the federal government – the north – regain them first?

    It’s not like they’re lying around on every Army base. This map from Mother Jones shows only a handful of locations in the South.

  23. CaitieCat says

    Really? How bizarre a world we live in, where the idea of someone irrational getting hold of nuclear weapons evokes just: “well, only a few”. :)

    Strangely, though, I suspect the nukes would be the least reasonable concern of the scenario. Given Red America’s likely attitude to capitalism (more of it, please, sir, and hold the regulations) and environmentalism (inverse of previous statement), living next to them would be a very unpleasant thing. You get all the bad side of rampant free-market, the Invisible Hand giving you the finger, without the “up” side of an increased tax base. Borders are just lines on a map, to environmental damage. And what are you going to do about it? Pollute back at them?

    Like it or not, the US is pretty much stuck with them. Which, y’know, sucks.

  24. CaitieCat says

    inverse of previous statement

    Well, the first bit, anyway. I expect the regulatory stuff would still be lying on Red America’s policy buffet table long after we’re extinct.

  25. marcus says

    “Yeah! Let them secede!”
    It would be like that India/Pakistan partition thing, and that is working so well.

  26. atheist says

    @Barefoot Bree – July 1, 2013 at 5:02 pm (UTC -4)

    It’s not like they’re lying around on every Army base. This map from Mother Jones shows only a handful of locations in the South.

    With nuclear weapons, a very few can be extremely effective. Look what North Korea does with unconfirmed reports of one weapon. Wingnuts can be every bit as nuts as the DPRK.

  27. atheist says

    @CaitieCat – July 1, 2013 at 5:06 pm (UTC -4)

    Like it or not, the US is pretty much stuck with them. Which, y’know, sucks.

    Sometimes, closer is safer.

  28. says

    “I’m saying that the idea of the USA deciding to peaceably dissolve, and then succeeding in doing it without a great deal of death and chaos, sounds naive to me.”

    So did the notion that teh GAY mawwiage could happen in the U.S.

    Secession is highly unlikely for a number of reasons. As for “Where in the World are the Nukes”, I think someone mentioned in a recent thread that most, if not all, of the current generation of U.S. nukes can be “turned off” by their makers. Yeah, the plutonium is still there but it’s not the same thing.

    If the New Confederetard States of MurKKKa were to launch an attack–every one of their major military reservations being completely mapped–their military capability would be drastically reduced, fortwith.

    Then we’d be back to the Hatfield/McCoy Irregulars. Bloody, yeah, but that’s what happens when assholes wind up in charge of things.

    The feds could always let it leak that in the event of a second “War of Southern Treachery” the lozerz would be looking at hordes of teh GAYmawwied carpetbaggers being foisted on them. To those KKKristianist assholes that might be SCARIER than nukes.

  29. iangould says

    “They are net takers, draining important national resources away from more prosperous, progressive states.”

    I’ve seen that argument before, in fact I’ve used it before.

    But I have a question:

    Has anyone quantified the extent to which that’s attributable to the larger number of serving and retired military personnel in the conservative states.

    I doubt many people would consider a vet on Tri-Care a parasite.

  30. iangould says

    19: But if your profligate spouse agrees to a full divorce and willingly abandons all claims to common property, why not let him go?

    That depends, Does hhe also want to wash his hands of the credit card bills?

  31. birgerjohansson says

    Let the secessionsists swap land with the indians. You know, those arid, barely habitable lands that were considered useless by the settlers.And give them the whole of Morridor.

    And by all means, let the vets coninue to get their benefits from the federal government even if they live in Secessionland, they are a tiny minority anyway. The Regressives are mostly chickenhawks.

    ““They are net takers” which is what they are saying about everyone else. I don’t mind subjecting them to a deadly dose of irony.

  32. maura79 says

    The slave-holding states have been dragging us down since the very inception of this nation. Offer a couple of years of amnesty to those Northerners who wish to move South, and vice versa. Keep paying Southern vets their benefits. Finally, though, LET THEM GO, and let them take Oklahoma with them.

    btw, I’m referring here to the Confederacy, not to conservative Western states like Wyoming, the Dakotas, Montana, Kansas, even Arizona. Without the power and influence of the Confederacy, those states would turn into the “loyal opposition.” They might always be more conservative than Vermont and Massachusetts. It doesn’t matter. No one needs a nation where there is complete agreement on all issues. I’m simply asking for a healthy nation. The Confederacy is a cancer. Cut it off.

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