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Documenting the Reaction, Part 3

Damn, this is fun. On one of the American Family Association’s radio shows, Sandy Rios and Fred Jackson reacted to the marriage rulings in real time with hilarious results. They declared that marriage is now dead in this country (really? Your marriage?) and that God will have his vengeance on us.

Gordon Klingenschmitt is upset that the Supreme Court won’t enforce “God’s law.”

Friends, today is a shameful day in American history. When courts refuse to enforce good existing laws (including God’s law), they give (by default) permission for sin to run wild across America. But when they claim the Founding Fathers somehow endorse sodomy, they have betrayed all that God and the Foundering Fathers ever stood for.

Exactly! And it’s about time that the Supreme Court got around to requiring that a dead man’s brother inseminate his widow and that women who aren’t virgins on their wedding day be stoned to death.

Fr. Shenan J. Boquet of Human Life International:

“We must continue to demand that our political leaders recognize and protect this most natural institution especially in this time of intense bigotry and discrimination toward those who defend marriage in the public square,” said Father Boquet.

Yes, of course. It’s the Christian bigots who are the victims of discrimination, not gay people. Just like the real victims of slavery were those poor white people who owned slaves and were deprived of their property by the 13th Amendment.

Brian Brown of the National Organization for Marriage:

“There is a stench coming from this case that has now stained the Supreme Court. They’ve allowed corrupt politicians and judges to betray the voters, rewarding them for their betrayal. It’s an illegitimate decision. We and millions of other Americans will refuse to accept this rogue decision rewarding corruption.”

Of course you will. And then what? You’ll rant and you’ll rave just as you have for years, but you’ve got nothing.

Todd Starnes of Fox News absurdly predicted that pastors will be dragged out of the pulpits and, presumably, sent to FEMA camps or something.

How long before federal agents haul pastors out of pulpits?…Won’t be long before they outlaw the Bible as hate speech.

Ah, preemptive martyrdom. How amusing.

Comments

  1. says

    The Supreme Court’s decision brought so much joy into the world. Gay people across the country jumped for joy that they have taken another step towards equality. Bigots across the country got the biggest dose of persecution warm fuzzies they’ve felt since the election.

  2. gmacs says

    #4

    Sounds like my aunt’s pastor. He also gave a really weird sermon at my cousin’s wedding that I couldn’t help but hear veiled references to domestic abuse in.

    The weirdest thing is that I’m pretty sure this is a liberal church.

  3. John Pieret says

    addiepray:

    Half an internet and you can get the rest if you come up with how Fields would have pronounced it!

  4. matty1 says

    I wouldn’t worry, with God’s aim this will cause floods in China in ten years time.

  5. rdmcpeek43 says

    @ #3 addiepray re W.C. Fields character names

    How right you are ‘my little chickadee.’

    T. Frothingill Bellows/ Larson E. Whipsnade/ Cuthbert I. Twillie

    W.C.; one of the all time great comedians.

  6. says

    I guess I must have missed the thousands of Catholic priests who have been hauled away for not allowing divorcees to remarry in their church since no-fault divorce laws made such people commonplace..

  7. Moggie says

    I’d like to know what kind of vengeance God has wreaked on those less backward countries which have had gay marriage for years.

  8. steve oberski says

    @ #3 addiepray

    Or Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J., “that learned and ingenious cleric”, a pseudonymous contributor to “The Devil’s Dictionary” by Ambrose Bierce.

  9. tomh says

    Won’t be long before they outlaw the Bible as hate speech.

    If there were actually a law against hate speech a good case could be made that the Bible would qualify.

  10. whheydt says

    Re: The Bible as hate speech….

    Many years ago–early 1960s, IIRC–there was an anti-obscenity measure on the California ballot. It was nicknamed the “Clean Amendment”. One group announced that, if it passed, they would be filing suit under it charging the Gideon Society with distributing obscene literature. The amendment failed.

  11. D. C. Sessions says

    You’d think that after decades of hauling pastors out of pulpits, someone might have noticed.

    The reason they haven’t? Because with all that practice, we’ve gotten really good at it.

  12. D. C. Sessions says

    The author claims that Christianity is absurd and impossible therefore it MUST be true!</blockquote

    Ah, St. Augustine. One of the true greats at comedy.

  13. vmanis1 says

    Totally off-topic: my favorite made-up name is from Anna Russell’s sketch about how to write a Gilbert and Sullivan opera, in which she gives the standard scrawny older male character (think Sir Joseph Porter, KGB, from Pinafore, or the Lord Chancellor, from Iolanthe) the role of a New York aristocrat about to be slung off the Social Register for having no money. His name? J. Parnassus Vanderfeller.

  14. D. C. Sessions says

    Isn’t God already frying western USA? Fast reaction!

    You’re saying that we could have foretold the USSC ruling by the weather forecast last week?

  15. says

    They declared that marriage is now dead in this country

    Marriage #1 died in 1999.
    Marriage #2 died in 2007.

    Damn those gays and their time-machine!!!?! Why couldn’t they go back in time and kill Bush or something useful? Instead they had to kill my marriages. AARGGHH!H!H!!

  16. F [is for fluvial] says

    When courts refuse to enforce good existing laws (including God’s law)

    Mm hm. Would they care to share the putative boilerplate wherein their preferred version of marriage is explicitly defined? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have needed to create new laws explicitly defining marriage as “one man, one woman” in the first place. FAIL.

  17. Subtract Hominem says

    When courts refuse to enforce good existing laws (including God’s law), they give (by default) permission for sin to run wild across America.

    And when courts refuse to enforce Godwin’s law, they give permission for HITLER to run wild across America!

  18. dingojack says

    Is Fr. Shenan J. Boquet is related to Hyacinth Bucket (‘It’s pronounced boo-kay, dear, boo-kay’), by any chance?
    [One for those on the other side of the Pond]
    ;) Dingo

  19. =8)-DX says

    They’ve allowed corrupt politicians and judges to betray the voters

    So when politicians and the SC pander to moneyed interests, corporate lobbying and big (insert an industry) in return for cushy private sector jobs and campaign contributions, it’s all fine and dandy, over-the-board politics. But when politicians make laws regarding moral issues of importance to their constituents (that’s their job, hint, hint), and the courts strike these laws down when in conflict with the constitution (also their job!), that’s somehow “corruption”?

    I guess it’s a case of “moral curruption”, but its as if these people didn’t know what actually corrupts political discourse and policy.

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