Quantcast

«

»

Jun 27 2013

Documenting the Reaction, Part 2

The fun continues! All the usual suspects were flipping out on Twitter, Facebook and elsewhere over the Supreme Court’s marriage equality rulings. Here’s a tweet from Matt Barber of Liberty Counsel invoking an entirely mythological being from the Bible.

We have arrived–> “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.” Matthew 24:37

There were no “days of Noah,” of course. But if this is true, shouldn’t Barber be thrilled? It hearkens the return of Jesus! Shouldn’t that be a good thing to Christians? And where does this idea that there was same-sex marriage in the days of Noah come from? The Bible says nothing about this at all. It seems to be invented out of thin air.

Barber again:

Make no mistake: God is not mocked. He is sovereign & marriage His creation. Sodomy-based “marriage” is as abominable as the sin it requires

I mock God all the time, or the idea of God (since that’s all God is, an idea). He’s had no response so far.

He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.” Rev. 22:20

Yeah, that was 2000 years ago. Either this is using a weird definition of “quickly” or it was just plain wrong.

Mat Staver of Liberty Counsel:

“Today, the United States Supreme Court has lost its legitimacy as an arbiter of the Constitution and the rule of law. Today is the death of the Court’s legacy, because the decision in the Federal Defense of Marriage Act case defies logic and is a pure invention of a handful of Justices.”

Again? That’s the same thing they say after any ruling they disagree with. Whenever they disagree with a ruling, that ruling “delegitimizes” the court. Except, of course, it doesn’t. The Supreme Court gets some cases right and some cases wrong. That is inevitable.

22 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. 1
    eric

    And where does this idea that there was same-sex marriage in the days of Noah come from? The Bible says nothing about this at all. It seems to be invented out of thin air.

    Oh Ed, don’t you know anything? Prior to Noah insisting on a single pair of every animal,* ALL the animals were in polygamous gay unions. That’s why the Lord had to specify pairs. If he had just said “bring sheep,” the sheep would’ve insisted on bringing their abomniable sheep lifestyle with them.

    *Except the seven pairs of the clean ones. Or whatever.

  2. 2
    Eamon Knight

    As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.

    Oh, so that’s why Calgary got flooded out this week? Because Canada did eight years ago what the US (sort of, partially) finally got around to?

    The eight-year delay would be because the Lord is patient. Or inattentive, and only just noticed. Or has bad aim. (Especially the last — there have to be gayer places in the country than Calgary.)

  3. 3
    steve oberski

    There were no “days of Noah,” of course. But if this is true, shouldn’t Barber be thrilled?

    What Barber really means is that he’s looking forward to getting his father drunk and seeing him naked.

  4. 4
    ThorGoLucky

    Sodomy-based “marriage” is as abominable as the sin it requires.
    They still don’t get that many gay/bi people are not into anal sex, and many heterosexual people are into it. As one of my brothers told me of women when I was a teenager, “Fuck them up the ass. They like that.”

  5. 5
    johnfromberkeley

    “No ‘days of Noah’”?!

    But Noah’s are has been found… many times!

  6. 6
    Dexeron

    I wasn’t aware that “mating with angels and giving birth to giants and heroes” was the same thing as “giving gay people equal protection under the law.” Huh. Who knew?

  7. 7
    dean

    If he had just said “bring sheep,” the sheep would’ve insisted on bringing their abomniable sheep lifestyle with them.

    Let’s not forget that Noah was constantly saying

    Don’t listen to that one ewe – I was just helping her up the gangway.

  8. 8
    Synfandel

    Regarding the “sodomy-based marriage” thing, rest assured that there’s plenty of anal sex going on in right-wing Christian fundie bedrooms. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if it were even a bit more popular in those circles than in the general population, because for them it as an even greater titillation-of-the-taboo factor.

  9. 9
    John Pieret

    … the decision in the Federal Defense of Marriage Act case defies logic …

    As if Staver would know anything about that subject.

    … and is a pure invention …

    There’s a trope a Bible thumper might want to avoid.

  10. 10
    Randomfactor

    Surely I come quickly.

    Lotta guys have that problem.

  11. 11
    D. C. Sessions

    And where does this idea that there was same-sex marriage in the days of Noah come from?

    SSM = “bad”
    During the times before the Great Flood, people were “bad.”
    Two things equal to the same thing are equal to each other.
    Therefore,
    During the times before the Great Flood, people were doing SSM.

    QED.

  12. 12
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    God is not mocked.

    Well, that’s a falsifiable assertion: Hey, GOD, you’re a puling little worm with sociopathic AND psychopathic tendencies, an appalling level of misogyny, and a nasty practical joke habit.

    Still here.

    Still here.

    I’ll leave a note if God gets around to stopping me from mocking him. Meanwhile, I think I’ll take up a Daily God-Mocking habit.

  13. 13
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @Randomfactor, #10 –

    You really shouldn’t comment until you read the full quote in context. It’s not saying what you think it is. But that’s the sexism that makes it hard to fully include the subjectivity of women. Perhaps restoring the full quote will aid you in your exegesis:

    Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

    My jaw is starting to hurt.

    -Mary Magdalene

  14. 14
    velociraptor

    @ CDRRFToD&HH -

    You owe me a new keyboard!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111

  15. 15
    Larry

    Days of Noah

    Was that the shitty Tom Cruise movie where he races arks on the NASARK circuit?

  16. 16
    timgueguen

    Don’t forget that some conservative Christians believe in the idea that a day for God may equal thousands, or millions, or even more, years for a man. So we may have to be patient. God will get around to smiting America for the DOMA decision in, oh say, 32575 AD.

  17. 17
    shadowwalkyr

    I’m still waiting, as I have been since the law first passed, for any of the religious right to explain what, exactly, the Defense of Marriage Act acts to defend marriage against.

  18. 18
    footface

    @11: They also used to text while driving in Noah’s time.

  19. 19
    Lofty

    Da God Bloke will be along rightly soon, any “day” now, based on creation “days” being interpreted as a billion years each or so.

  20. 20
    dan4

    @8″…titiliation-of-the-taboo factor.”

    Yes, because when I think of people who like to break Biblical taboos, my mind immediately goes to right-wing Christian fundamentalists.

  21. 21
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    There were no “days of Noah,” of course.

    Interestingly there may be in the future if, as seems somewhat plausible, we name an exoplanet or an asteroid or ice dwarf planet or even comet after this mythical figure or later namesakes. Noah would then be a heavenly body which, if rotating and not tidally locked would experience the duirnal day-night cycle aka days. So future dyas of Noah could theoretically occur given scientific progress and nomenclatural whimsy.

  22. 22
    kermit.

    dan4, I am under the impression that because sex is taught as nasty and dirty to sexually repressed Christians (and others, I suppose), they almost always* learn to associate anything nasty or naughty with sexual behavior and urges. Since anal sex is typically allowed in Fundamentalist circles, it is reasonable speculation that it would be popular. Naughty, but allowed – perfect! Also, it can be uncomfortable for some women, but that’s not much of a consideration in Fundie households, but it would be in the general population. I don’t know what the actual numbers are, though.
    .
    sex = disgusting
    X = disgusting
    therefore,
    X = sexy
    .
    * Their conditioning didn’t take well with me. I am naturally polymorphously perverse.

Leave a Reply

Switch to our mobile site