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Documenting the Reaction, Part 1

As a huge fan of schadenfreude, it’s just so much fun watching the reactions from the religious right to the Supreme Court’s rulings on marriage equality. This will probably end up being several posts, but here are the first ones I’ve found as I bathe in the tears of the righteous:

Mike Huckabee tweeted:

My thoughts on the SCOTUS ruling that determined that same sex marriage is okay: “Jesus wept.”

Yeah, he seems to do that a lot. Everything seems to make the baby Jesus cry. A few moments later, also from Huckabee:

5 people in robes said they are bigger than the voters of CA and Congress combined.And bigger than God.May He forgive us all.

To be fair, it isn’t difficult to be bigger than God. Even a virus is bigger than God, since there is no such thing.

Michele Bachmann issued this statement:

Marriage was created by the hand of God. No man, not even a Supreme Court, can undo what a holy God has instituted.

I guess God doesn’t have nearly the pull you think he does. So what is he gonna do about it? Not a damn thing.

For thousands of years of recorded human history, no society has defended the legal standard of marriage as anything other than between man and woman. Only since 2000 have we seen a redefinition of this foundational unit of society in various nations.

Solomon’s wives #256-278 were not available for comment.

Today, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to join the trend, despite the clear will of the people’s representatives through DOMA.

Yeah, just like the day before they struck down the Voting Rights Act “despite the clear will of the people’s representatives.” Oh wait, you were in favor of that. How ironic.

Todd Starnes on Twitter:

Supreme Court overrules God.

I know, right? Just like they let people worship other gods, in direct contradiction to the very first commandment. It’s like they think this is a free country and not a theocracy or something.

But this one from Bryan Fischer is my favorite:

What we need: a governor in a state with a marriage amendment to say: the Court has issued its ruling. Now let them enforce it.

Uh, Bryan…neither of these rulings has any effect on any governor in any state that forbids same-sex marriage. The DOMA ruling applies only to federal recognition of such marriages and the Prop 8 ruling applies only to California. Your ignorance clearly knows no bounds.

More Bryan Fischer:

The battle now turns to defending religious liberty. The DOMA ruling is the greatest threat to the 1st Amendment in history.

Uh, why? So now the federal government has to recognize same-sex marriages for purposes of the full range of legal and financial benefits and requirements. How exactly does that threaten the First Amendment in any way? Bear in mind that Fischer believes that the First Amendment applies only to Christians (he has said so quite explicitly, I’m not reading anything in to his views). Fischer again:

In our battle to defend marriage as God has defined it, we will never give in. We will never, never, never, never give in.

Good for you. But it will soon be a reality nationwide and you can go right on not giving in to your heart’s content. It won’t have any effect at all.

One man, Kennedy, has decided marriage policy for 315 million people. That is tyranny. All hail the king.

Well, 4 others joined him. You know, just like they did the day before when 5 people decided voting rights for 315 million people. This is tyranny! All hail the king!

With the DOMA decision, we have ceased to be a constitutional republic. The words “We the People” are now meaningless.

Yeah, just like when they struck down the Voting Rights Act. Funny how this argument only applies to the rulings the wingnuts disagree with. If they don’t like the law being struck down, they applaud those same unelected judges.

DOMA restricts no rights. Gays have equality: can marry 1 non-relative member of opposite sex like everybody else.

Right! Just like whites and blacks had equality before Loving v Virginia, they were equally able to marry one non-relative member of the opposite sex of their own race.

Comments

  1. says

    As I’ve said before, marriage isn’t anything to do with the Ord Glod.

    Closest G-man gets to marriage is Gen 1:28 when just tells the male and female to go fuck (in so many words), and Gen 2:22 when he merely brings the woman unto Adam.

    Adam and Eve basically lived in sin.

    With G-man’s approval!

    (And don’t let me get started on Eve’s transgendered state!)

  2. cptdoom says

    As fun as reading the over-reactions are, my concern as a gay man is the potential now for serious violent backlash as the administrative and legal mechanisms for anti-gay discrimination fall.

  3. says

    Regarding the Huckabee tweet, I saw an image where someone with the Twitter handle of The Real Jesus Christ tweeted back, “Those were tears of joy, jackass.”

  4. eric says

    Mike Huckabee tweeted: My thoughts on the SCOTUS ruling that determined that same sex marriage is okay: “Jesus wept.”

    If you think that’s delicious, you should’ve read the response:

    “Those were tears of joy, you fuckin’ nitwit.”

    h/t to Roger Peritone over at Hemant Mehta’s blog for posting that.

  5. Taz says

    If god wants to deliver a clear message he should cut down on the number of spokesmen.

  6. D. C. Sessions says

    So now the federal government has to recognize same-sex marriages for purposes of the full range of legal and financial benefits and requirements. How exactly does that threaten the First Amendment in any way?

    It threatens Bryan Fischer’s right to practice his religion, which requires him to enforce it on the rest of us.

    Duh.

  7. Who Knows? says

    At a press conference, when asked about Michelle Bachman’s statement Nancy Pelosi responded with, “Who cares?”

    It was great.

  8. matty1 says

    One man, Kennedy, has decided marriage policy for 315 million people.

    This implies all 315 million will be affected in some way, as I understand it unless people won’t be affected at all unless they meet some very specific criteria.

    -They are part of a same sex couple
    -That couple has a marriage licence issued by a state where the issuing of such licences is legal under state law
    -They ask to be treated as married under federal regulations

    Do 315 million people meet these criteria?

  9. raven says

    Michele Bachmann issued this statement:

    Marriage was created by the hand of God. No man, not even a Supreme Court, can undo what a holy God has instituted.

    Bachmann is as incoherent as ever.

    If god created marriage and it is undoable, then why does she or any other kook care?

    I don;t get upset over the sun rising every morming in the east. Why would I? There is nothing I can do about it.

    Bachmann has gone beyond belief into total mental fog and confusion.

  10. Trebuchet says

    Almost not worth following all of these; yesterday’s video clip pretty much covers it all! Biblical Proportions! BIBLICAL!

  11. Chiroptera says

    Bryan Fischer: What we need: a governor in a state with a marriage amendment to say: the Court has issued its ruling. Now let them enforce it.

    Ed Brayton’s response: Uh, Bryan…neither of these rulings has any effect on any governor in any state that forbids same-sex marriage. The DOMA ruling applies only to federal recognition of such marriages and the Prop 8 ruling applies only to California. Your ignorance clearly knows no bounds.

    Heh. This reminds me of the post Ed made a few days ago quoting people saying they were going to “resist” gay marriage. And I was, like, lol wut?

  12. iplon says

    And Fischer wonders why he would be considered a bigot?

    Here is is, almost word for word repeating a quote attributed to Andrew Jackson (though consensus seems to be that he didn’t actually say it). The topic? The Supreme Court had just ruled that Georgia could not take land from the native population because the native populations were under the jurisdiction of the Federal government. Andrew Jackson instead did everything he could to force them off the land.

    This, of course, led to the Trail of Tears.

    This is normal for Fischer, of course, who probably believes that Andrew Jackson was doing god’s work by inflicting suffering upon them. It isn’t often that they are so open about their varying bigotry and do such a perfect job of linking themselves to horrors of the past for us.

  13. D. C. Sessions says

    Speaking of “resistance” to SSM — has anyone asked them what they mean by that? Or is this another case of our asleep-on-watch dog press?

  14. matty1 says

    @15 Maybe they plan to appy en mass to work as clerks processing marriage paperwork then refuse to do so. That would be the only way they could do anything to gay marriages I can think of.

  15. Larry says

    The battle now turns to defending religious liberty

    Fischer is such a drama queen. These rulings do absolutely nothing which prevents him and his like-minded compadres from getting their hate on, which is pretty much the only thing their religion is about. And in the coming months and years, as they continue their ranting, they will be totally blind to the fact that SSM has done nothing towards silencing them and their hatreds. If anything, it will probably drive them to even greater heights of idiocy and rhetoric.

  16. raven says

    Speaking of “resistance” to SSM — has anyone asked them what they mean by that?

    Someone should ask them.

    I’m sure part of it will be casting magic spells and witchcraft.

    They will just pray, i.e. beg and implore a powerful supernatural being to do their will and fulfill their desires.

    If that is al lthey do, we are safe. Sometimes though, after their magic fails, they resort to more tangible things like bullets and bombs.

  17. says

    Huckabee:

    5 people in robes said they are bigger than the voters of CA and Congress combined.And bigger than God.May He forgive us all.

    I know Huckabee isn’t Catholic, but people in robes as a disparaging remark in this instance really cracks me up.

  18. says

    I tried resisting SSM. I really did! The guy at Subway asked if I wanted “hot peppers on it, too” and I said “I do”. Now we’re gay married. Thanks a lot, jerks.

  19. says

    “Jesus Wept.” So what? A lot of people cry at weddings. For fuck sake, weddings are supposed to emotional. Huckabee must be one cold hearted S.O.B.

  20. says

    I don’t now how Jesus can weep – he’s an all powerful, all knowing being. How can he be so personalized and have emotions, like anger or regret (as he does in the Bible)?
    In any event, it’s not as though Jesus just found out about this – he’s known it was coming for the last 15 Billion / 6000 years (unless, perhaps, Jesus’s tears also exists outside of time, and are thus ever-present).

  21. says

    One man, Kennedy, has decided marriage policy for 315 million people. That is tyranny. All hail the king.

    Well, 4 others joined him. You know, just like they did the day before when 5 people decided voting rights for 315 million people. This is tyranny! All hail the king!

    – yeah but three of those were girls, and we all know they don’t count.

  22. anubisprime says

    Raven @ 20

    They will just pray, i.e. beg and implore a powerful supernatural being to do their will and fulfill their desires.

    This reminds me of a off topic bit of tittle tattle recently…..still happening apparently..

    When Nelson Mandela fell seriously ill in hospital over 10 days ago…the whole of the news channels, presumably everywhere, fell over themselves reporting that there were mass prayer meetings and the government was imploring everyone in South Africa to pray for the recovery of the father of their country so that he may return to the loving embrace of his own family and the country…

    When he seemed to recover they were all cock a hoop cos they figured dog heard their whistles….that lasted about three days…he fell critical again now Archbishop of Cape Town is urging his sheeples to pray for his release from this earthly coil…
    talk about pragmatism…no doubt when Madiba does go toes up the arch bish will claim his boss listened!
    Of course if they do pray for his death they might get a shock if he finally recovers.
    They are like a barking hound with two dicks with no idea which one to lick first!

    One does wonder if they were so successful first time around why they do not simply repeat the whistling?
    Theist..how does that work?

    Wonderful meltdowns going on in fuzzy pink lala land…wingnuttia on full paranoid alert, with a bit of luck their chicken without a head performance will guide them all blindly under the wheels of the nearest fast moving bus!

  23. dingojack says

    Holytape – Well of course Fischer ignored them if they were girls.
    If he acknowleged them he’d have to say ‘all hail the queens‘ and that might not be quite the message Fischer’s intended.
    ;) Dingo
    ——-
    PS: Paron my schadenfreude-eating-grin.

  24. gingerbaker says

    Ed:

    “Uh, Bryan…neither of these rulings has any effect on any governor in any state that forbids same-sex marriage. The DOMA ruling applies only to federal recognition of such marriages and the Prop 8 ruling applies only to California. ”

    Scalia disagrees with you on this. Is he wrong?

  25. machintelligence says

    matty1 @ 18

    @15 Maybe they plan to apply en mass to work as clerks processing marriage paperwork then refuse to do so. That would be the only way they could do anything to gay marriages I can think of.

    They could try to physically block the doors to the courthouses. We all know how well that turned out.

    During his campaign, Wallace talked of physically putting himself between the schoolhouse door and any attempt to integrate Alabama’s all-white public schools.
    “They knew he would step aside,” Clark says. “I think the fundamental question was how.” Just in case, Clark says, National Guard troops had practiced how to physically lift the governor out of the doorway.

  26. eric says

    Speaking of “resistance” to SSM — has anyone asked them what they mean by that?

    It means they will pass ‘sense of the (state) senate’ bills declaring their opposition to it a 35th 36th, and 37th time!

    One man, Kennedy, has decided marriage policy for 315 million people.

    Yeah, kinda like Obama and privacy policy, only without the evil.

  27. caseloweraz says

    Now there’s some fun times in the fight,
    But ain’t too much funner than
    The Tears of the Right

    – apologies to Smoky Robinson & the Miracles

    I feel a snark attack coming on…

    “For thousands of years of recorded human history, no society has defended the legal standard of marriage as anything other than between man and woman. Only since 2000 have we seen a redefinition of this foundational unit of society in various nations.”

    Parallel reasoning: “For hundreds of years of recorded human history, no society has defended the legal standard of slavery as anything other than economically justified. Only since 1843* have we seen a redefinition of this foundational unit of society in various nations.”

    *I think Britain outlawed slavery before the U.S. did. Too lazy to look it up.

    “Today, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to join the trend, despite the clear will of the people’s representatives through DOMA.”

    But Citizens United is a clear expression of the will of the people (in boardrooms).

    Bryan Fischer: “What we need: a governor in a state with a marriage amendment to say: the Court has issued its ruling. Now let them enforce it.”

    Perhaps God will bring back George Wallace (the young George Wallace) to stand on the courthouse steps in defiance.

  28. Sastra says

    D.C. Sessions #17 wrote:

    Speaking of “resistance” to SSM — has anyone asked them what they mean by that?

    Well, I have it on good authority that when they see married gay couples walking along, they plan on crossing the street. And not without first giving them a Look so they’ll know why, too.

    Freedom of Religion, in practice.

  29. eric says

    Here’s another quoted response from Hemant’s site that will get you rolling:

    From the Christian Post:

    Sam Rohrer, president of the Pennsylvania Pastors’ Network, stated that he was “stunned at this decision today to take a 360-degree turn away from the biblical definition of marriage.”

    Though I must admit, schaudenfreude only accounts for 75% of my pleasure at reading that. Amusement at the innumeracy accounts for the other 75%.

  30. howard says

    This, of course, led to the Trail of Tears.

    I was just coming in to say this.

    I hear rightwingers bringing this up. I don’t think they realize how bad this makes them sound.

  31. Moggie says

    eric, it’s surely worse than a 360-degree turn! I’d say it’s twice or even three times that!

  32. bryanfeir says

    *I think Britain outlawed slavery before the U.S. did. Too lazy to look it up.

    Yes, Britain outlawed slavery in 1833. They had outlawed the slave trade even earlier in 1807, though that was really mostly a ‘screw you’ to Napoleon who had reinstated slavery in France a few years earlier and then gone to put down revolutions in Haiti. (Upper Canada, now Ontario, had banned the importation of slaves in 1793, and decreed that children o slaves would be freed; only the actions of a few slave owner legislators kept it from being a total ban. John Graves Simcoe, the Lieutenant Governor, was an abolitionist.)

    Of course, while the U.S. had officially banned the importation of slaves in 1807 as well, just a few weeks before the British ban went into effect, that didn’t stop ships from smuggling them in. It also didn’t stop the British from harassing American shipping with the assumption that American ships might still be carrying slaves. Just one of the many causes of the War of 1812 a few years later…

  33. says

    5 people in robes said they are bigger than the voters of CA and Congress combined.And bigger than God.May He forgive us all.

    I’m sick of the whole anti-judicial/pro-mob rule anarchy stance spouted by wingnuts. Been sick of it for a while, now.

  34. Chie Satonaka says

    I can’t wait until they start to claim they were the driving force behind the push for equality.

    Gutfeld on Fox has already tried some creative spinning. He claims this is a conservative win because now gays will be less promiscuous.

    He followed up on that by saying now we can focus on more important issues like radical Islam.

  35. eric says

    Gutfeld on Fox has already tried some creative spinning. He claims this is a conservative win because now gays will be less promiscuous.

    Everything is a win for them. The religious right is the Baghdad Bob of US politics. Remember, (after the fact) Dover vs. Kitzmiller was a win for them. After the fact, Obama’s reelection was a win for them. And so on, and so on…

  36. eamick says

    What, no “we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets”? I’m so disappointed.

  37. Loqi says

    At best, Craig is a good performer and is skilled with a thesaurus, nothing more. His arguments are those of a 16-year old who thinks he’s overly clever dressed up with impressive sounding words.

  38. anubisprime says

    eric @ 34

    From the Christian Post:

    Sam Rohrer, president of the Pennsylvania Pastors’ Network, stated that he was “stunned at this decision today to take a 360-degree turn away from the biblical definition of marriage.”

    Precious little bunnies are they not?…so self unaware and so pompous with it!

  39. kayden says

    “Michele Bachmann issued this statement:

    Marriage was created by the hand of God. No man, not even a Supreme Court, can undo what a holy God has instituted.”

    Versus what an unholy god has instituted, of course.

  40. Rich Woods says

    Sam Rohrer, president of the Pennsylvania Pastors’ Network, stated that he was “stunned at this decision today to take a 360-degree turn away from the biblical definition of marriage.”

    360 degrees? Still, I don’t suppose a basic understanding of geometry is a pre-requisite for publically expressing unalloyed ignorance and bigotry.

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