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Jun 26 2013

The Christian Right Responds to the Supreme Court Rulings

Here’s the shorter version of the Christian right’s response to this morning’s rulings:

19 comments

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  1. 1
    Kevin

    I heard that Christians are being rounded up this very second to be put into FEMA camps so that their children can be given to gay couples and raised gay.

    The Christians will be kept around as breeding stock, of course. But once they’re past their birth-giving potential, it’s off to the Death Panels for them.

    /snark (as if I needed that tag)

  2. 2
    Modusoperandi

    Kevin, it’s only Death Panels for the ones that, while in FEMA camp (called, “Camp Disco”), fail to convert to GayHomosexualism.

  3. 3
    Randomfactor

    Sounds like fun. Bring it on!

  4. 4
    Gvlgeologist, FCD

    Funny. Just minutes ago I posted this on FB:

    “You watch. This will lead to the collapse of heterosexual marriage and of western civilization.

    Except, of course, it won’t. None of the disasters predicted by the Religious Right wing will come to pass in any way. And in 10 years, Republicans and right wingers will claim SSM was all their own idea, and they were against DOMA from the start.”

    So is there an actual response from the Xtian Rightwingers? (Not that I think that the video is inaccurate…)

  5. 5
    Who Knows?

    Apparently, we’ve made Jesus cry.

    http://www.goodasyou.org/

  6. 6
    kantalope

    Gvlgeologist,
    They can’t have a response as they are all hiding in their bunkers, watching the skies for black helicopters. Do make sure that you announce your presence lest one of Jesus’s followers ‘accidentally’ shoot you – mistaking you for a fabulously dressed jack-booted-thug.

    Papers please. Yes, I see you are bound for ‘camp-disco’. Re-education will do you good comrade. Oh, and according to this print out — you need to call your mom more often.

  7. 7
    Moggie

    DID YOU SAY BLACK HELICOPTERS? I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE NOISE OF THIS DAMN RAINBOW HELICOPTER.

  8. 8
    lldayo

    I believe Obama is currently pressing for “Somewhere over the rainbow” to become the national anthem and that 5 star generals will now be referred to as Fabulous men in uniform!

  9. 9
    Zeno

    Thank goodness the one-man/one-woman definition of marriage was struck down. How would we have ever managed to identify that one lucky man and one lucky woman?

  10. 10
    Synfandel

    Well, I guess that’s it. My heterosexual marriage is now null and void. How will I break this to my wife?

  11. 11
    matty1

    So is there an actual response from the Xtian Rightwingers?

    Here you go.

    Short version, FRC are pleased the court didn’t find a nationwide right to same sex marriage, as the other thread pointed out that question was never in front of them, and are still sure they will win in the end. You can almost hear Tony Perkins squealing “It’s only a flesh wound”

  12. 12
    Zeno

    My heterosexual marriage is now null and void. How will I break this to my wife?

    You should introduce her to your fiancé.

  13. 13
    cry4turtles

    The next thing will be to give barren women (me) some fuckin’ respect for choosing to be childless. That will be the true end of the world! Striking down DOMA was the iceberg’s tip.

  14. 14
    JT Eberhard

    This was perfect. My brother and I laughed our asses off.

  15. 15
    Modusoperandi

    Moggie “DID YOU SAY BLACK HELICOPTERS? I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE NOISE OF THIS DAMN RAINBOW HELICOPTER.”
    They’ve already recut the helicopter attack scene in Apocalypse Now, replacing ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ with ‘What is Love?’. True story.

  16. 16
    marcus

    I would like to share my thoughtful and well-considered response to NOM’s op-ed in USA Today.
    “Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaa!!!
    Suck it.

  17. 17
    davefitz

    Schadenfreude is the word for the day.

  18. 18
    Akira MacKenzie

    Modusoperandi @ 15

    I would have thought that “It’s Raining Men” would have been more appropriate.

  19. 19
    Modusoperandi

    Akira MacKenzie, that would be a bit on the nose, I think.

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