The United States of Ronald Reagan

While the rest of the country was concerned with the state of the economy and the recent revelations of government overreach in the war on terror, the House Subcommittee on Fisheries, Wildlife, Oceans and Insular Affairs was holding hearings on HR 553, a bill submitted by Rep. Darrell Issa to name the nation’s “economic zone” after Ronald Reagan.

(a) Designation.—The exclusive economic zone of the United States, as established by Presidential Proclamation Numbered 5030, dated March 10, 1983, is designated as the “Ronald Wilson Reagan Exclusive Economic Zone of the United States”.

(b) References.—Any reference in a law, map, regulation, document, paper, or other record of the United States to the exclusive economic zone of the United States is deemed to be a reference to the “Ronald Wilson Reagan Exclusive Economic Zone of the United States”.

In 1983, Reagan signed a proclamation declaring that everything within 200 miles of the American coast was the “exclusive economic zone” of the country, so now they want to name it after him. There appears to be no truth to the rumor that Issa also wants to name the atmosphere over the United States the George W. Bush Exclusive Breathing Zone.

22 comments on this post.
  1. democommie:

    That Issacompletefuckingasstool is venal, fecal and foolish enough to waste time on this nonsense speaks ill of him AND the idiots that continue to send him to Congress.

  2. UnknownEric the Apostate:

    In that case, I’m renaming my bathroom The UnknownEric Exclusive Urination Zone of the United States.

  3. John Pieret:

    “Insular Affairs”? At least the subcommittee was well named.

  4. imrryr:

    And the right’s laser-like focus on jobs continues.

  5. theschwa:

    I can feel the government getting smaller…

  6. Tabby Lavalamp:

    I named my toilet the Darrell Issa Exclusive Waste Receptacle Zone, so this seems reasonable.

  7. Modusoperandi:

    Pay heed and prostrate yourselves. Once sufficient sacrifices have been made, The Reagan shall return.

  8. raven:

    What next?

    Sainthood for Ayn Rand?

    For Cthulhu’s sake, she has already been made a saint!!!

    Once the Tea Party/GOP figures that out, they will have to up her level and make her a goddess. Hmmm, oh wait, that might have already happened.

  9. shouldbeworking:

    There appears to be no truth to the rumor that Issa also wants to name the atmosphere over the United States the George W. Bush Exclusive Breathing Zone.

    Well, not yet. They have to save something for the next news cycle.

  10. Abby Normal:

    Indeed, how will we ever fix the economy and rein in government if the House Subcommittee on Fisheries, Wildlife, Oceans and Insular Affairs allows itself to be distracted by such irrelevancies. In that 90 minutes session alone they wasted a good 4.5 minutes on it. If they keep going like this we’ll never get the NSA under control.

  11. Chiroptera:

    Since the Air Commerce Act was passed in 1926, maybe we should call it the Calvin Coolidge National Airspace of the United States?

  12. fifthdentist:

    Finally.
    It’s about time they stop taking pointless votes on repealing Obamacare and regulating women’s hoo hoos and start doing something meaningful.

  13. Synfandel:

    I have relatives in New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and British Columbia who apparently are now in the Ronald Wilson Reagan Exclusive Economic Zone of the United States.

  14. oranje:

    I’m in the United States but about two hundred miles from most shitty chain restaurants. Does that mean I’m outside of the puppet-from-that-Genesis-video Economic Zone?

  15. sinned34:

    I’m sure that 1/3 of Vancouver Island and the entire city and surrounding areas of Vancouver, BC will be surprised to find out they’re soon to be included in a jurisdiction named after the tax-hiking, deficit-spending, terrorist-supplying Ronald Reagan, who was President over a completely different country.

  16. d.c.wilson:

    Why limit it to just 200 mi off the coast? They might as well rename the entire goddamn continent after Saint Ron.

  17. eamick:

    And at the editorial offices of The Onion, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth……

  18. eamick:

    I’m sure that 1/3 of Vancouver Island and the entire city and surrounding areas of Vancouver, BC will be surprised to find out they’re soon to be included in a jurisdiction named after the tax-hiking, deficit-spending, terrorist-supplying Ronald Reagan, who was President over a completely different country.

    Exclusive economic zones refer to water, not land. The concept originated with the UN, BTW.

  19. democommie:

    “They might as well rename the entire goddamn continent after Saint Ron.”

    Ronrondedooronronistan?

  20. Chiroptera:

    Was that the same Ronald Reagan who wouldn’t recognize Libya’s claim over the entire Gulf of Sidra?

  21. brandthardin:

    His effigy should be burned in the street for selling out the Middle Class to Big Business. Reagan has a legacy so distorted by the Conservative idolization of him that we may never have a clear picture of the real man behind the television set beyond the elaborate myth now concocted around him. Did he really rid the world of commie scum? Did destroy or save our economy? Check out my portrait of The Gipper and help me figure it out on my artist’s blog at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2011/02/happy-100th-gipper.html with some Cold War Hollywood!

  22. cry4turtles:

    And the space above my barn is “Pony Fart Zone”.

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