Comments

  1. matty1 says

    If today didn’t match up to the Book of Mormon wouldn’t they just edit the book until it does?

  2. Reginald Selkirk says

    Terrific! All that Book of Mormon stuff should drive a wedge between him and his Protestant viewers. And saying bad things about cannibalism should turn off the Catholic viewers, who hold a literal belief in transubstantiation.

  3. johnbebbington says

    Watch for these things and you will know the season you are in.

    Over here in England if it is soaking wet and/or freezing cold then it’s summer.

  4. Randomfactor says

    The Book of Mormon says its the end times, and by Kolob, Glenn Beck is going to do all he can to make it so!

  5. says

    Until recently, I thought it was an act.

    Now, I’m thinking that his cheese really has slipped off its cracker.

  6. Michael Heath says

    It’s one thing to be born into a religion or convert based on being from a primitive society proselytized by religionists from an advanced one. But imagine the combination of idiocy and emotional immaturity needed for adults not in those two camps to convert to a religion. Glenn Beck is Exhibit A.

  7. Abdul Alhazred says

    If the category is apocalyptic hysterics, this is pretty weak stuff.

    Unless the Mormon church is officially touting this line, it will have no traction anywhere.

  8. slc1 says

    Re Michael Heath @ #6

    Beck, the dreck, credits his conversion to the LDS church with helping him overcome his alcoholism.

  9. matty1 says

    Beck, the dreck, credits his conversion to the LDS church with helping him overcome his alcoholism.

    That’s sober?

  10. Augustus Carp says

    Well… if a source as unimpeachable as the Book of Moron says we are in the “End Times”, then I guess we must be.

    What does the Bhagavad Gita, or Harry Potter, have to say on the subject? Surely they must confirm what Glenn Beck asserts

  11. mikeyb says

    I really wonder if this guy suffers from schizophrenia. If so he needs to get off the air and get treatment.

  12. Synfandel says

    Over here in England if it is soaking wet and/or freezing cold then it’s summer.

    …or some other season.

  13. Taz says

    I disagree with those saying Beck is crazy. He’s a con man. He should have “there’s a sucker born every minute” tattooed on his face.

  14. says

    How do you “take a beating heart out of a dead body” anyway?

    It has to mostly dead. If it was all the way dead, he couldn’t do it. Mostly dead means a little bit alive, so that gives him something to work with.

  15. Trebuchet says

    If it’s the End Times, paper currency will be worthless….and Uncle Glenny would just LOVE to sell you some gold. It’s a scam, just like everything else he does.

  16. CaitieCat says

    I can always tell what season it is here in Canada.

    It’s either snowing, or June 21.

    Or at least it used to be. Now, not so much. We seem to be in a feast or famine thing with our winters, either we’re setting new records for snow, or setting new records for ‘not cold’.

    What? Why would I want to talk about Beck’s foolish delusions when there’s weather to be discussed! What kind of English people are you, anyway? It’s the weather. The one topic on which we all have an opinion.

  17. Jane Roe says

    How do you “take a beating heart out of a dead body” anyway? Not sure, but it might have something to do with the amazing powers of a beheaded man. From the Book of Mormon’s description of the titanic battle that ends with the killing of Shiz by Coriantumr:

    “And it came to pass that when they had all fallen by the sword, save it were Coriantumr and Shiz, behold Shiz had fainted with the loss of blood. And it came to pass that when Coriantumr had leaned upon his sword, that he rested a little, he smote off the head of Shiz. And it came to pass that after he had smitten off the head of Shiz, that Shiz raised up on his hands and fell; and after that he had struggled for breath, he died.”

    BTW, this passage is from a section of the Book of Mormon called the Book of Ether. Mark Twain famously called the Book of Mormon “chloroform in print,” but “ether” works, too.

  18. CaitieCat says

    Wow…And it came to pass that William Tyndale would be rolling in his grave to read that crap, to realize that some asshat had tried, so very badly, to imitate his style, and found only the most pathetic scraps of the majesty of Tyndale’s writing.

    Except, of course, that Tyndale is dead, and does no more rolling. But Zombie Tyndale is totally coming for the dude who found and translated crappily wrote the Book of Mormon, when the Rapture comes. And also King James, for stealing his homework.

  19. Jane Roe says

    @CaitieCat: Yeah, and not only that, but if you talk to certain Mormons, they’ll tell you that the Book of Mormon’s authenticity as an ancient text is proved by its literary excellence.

  20. iangould says

    “How do you “take a beating heart out of a dead body” anyway?”

    You can be brain-dead while the heart is still beating, just look at Glenn.

  21. iangould says

    The Book of Ether purports to be a straight-forward historical account of the migration of the Jaredites from Babel to the New World and the civil war that ensued.

    The idea that it’s a calendar of current events isn’t even Mormon theology, it’s something Glenn cooked up himself.

  22. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    I disagree with those saying Beck is crazy. He’s a con man. He should have “there’s a sucker born every minute” tattooed on his face.

    I’m thinking that one doesn’t preclude the other.

    I can always tell what season it is here in Canada.

    It’s either snowing, or June 21.

    That’s when it starts raining. On the east coast at least.

    Yeah, and not only that, but if you talk to certain Mormons, they’ll tell you that the Book of Mormon’s authenticity as an ancient text is proved by its literary excellence.

    If Mormons think this is “literary excellence”, their “bad” writing should technically be able to kill a normal human being by massive neuron apoptosis. Their “terrible” writing should be considered cruel and unusual punishment and forbidden by international conventions.

    Seriously, this stuff is worse than vogon poetry.

  23. dingojack says

    Here we’ve had a rainy summer, a mild fine autumn and a cold dry winter. Yep definitely end times weather.
    Dingo

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