Mikey Gets Email

Here’s an amusing bit of crazy emailed to Mikey Weinstein last week. What is it about these people not getting acronyms right? I bet at least half of the crazy email he gets refers to the Military Religious Freedom Foundation as MFRR. That’s really not that difficult, is it?

> Three of my children are in the armed forces. They tell me how their chaplains have told them that you and the MFRR want to take Christ away from the military. They all fear you. Many military fear you. Even the generals and Congressmen. I do not. My church does not. My church supports the military. Our pastor has researched all about you and that MFRR. At this mornings sermon he told us all what he had discovered. Your a jew. You have a sick wife and some children. Sons and Daughters. Your loving arabs and there violent faith of Allah. Your in New Mexico. Your loving the homos and want them to be equal. To normal people of faith and be married. You love abortions and the doctors who do them. Your a atheist probably too. Your a communist sympathiser. Your a leftist pretending to be a Republican. You hate Jesus Christ and all who worship Him. You have a very strong power from your darkness. You are clever and hard to trap. you just scared the Air Force into taking down all painting of Americas and the Worlds only True Savior the Lord Jesus Christ. Unbelieveable hate mixed with the power of anti-christ. Pastor tells us It is very likely that you are demon possessed. Or are even the very dark one himself. Satan get thee behind me. As Pastor said by Ephesians 4:27! No wonder so many fear you. And your satan army of that MFRR. But our Army of Christ is very much stronger Mikey Weinstein. All of this has been prophesied. Your trapped and doomed. Our pastor told us of your cripple wife. No doubt having multipole sclerosis is a just punishment for your evil. Oh but she does deserves it and more suffering too. Soon. He said you have sons and daughters too. They are all part of it too. We have a good and blessed plan for you now. We have prayed on it. Our church’s prayer chain is launched today. We will pray day and night for your fall. May you experience pain beyond all understanding. For eternity. May Christ Jesus take your wife and sons and daughters to hell this day. before your very eyes. May Christ Jesus take all who do there evil in that MFRR to hell this very day before your very eyes. May you live forever in flames as Christ Jesus sweeps you to hell eternal this very day. Pasor ended his sermon by saying that there is no amazing grace for a wretchs like you. Your wife. Your sons your daughters. And all of those in that MFRR. Your suffering for all time is fulfillment of His Word and Prophesy.

The spelling and grammar is exactly what one would expect.

48 comments on this post.
  1. slc1:

    I’m sure that the blogs resident physics professor and math department chairman will be along with his no true Scotsman shtick.

  2. Nemo:

    Wait… He’s a Republican?

  3. richardelguru:

    Best thing you can say about that is it’s not all IN CAPS.

  4. Who Knows?:

    He doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re, or there and their either. And I assume he thinks paragraphs are the work of Satan.

    There may be more but I couldn’t stand to read much past the first few lines.

  5. Jasper of Maine:

    Oh my sweet lord, how many times can a person possibly get “You’re” incorrect? I think he’s going for a world record.

  6. tynk:

    Pastor tells us

    This reminds me a lot of the school yard taunt “Daddy says…”

    Every sentence in that email displays a complete inability to think for their self.
    It’s sad…

  7. John Pieret:

    Marginal Foregone Retail Rate (MFRR) ‐ A rate, expressed in $/MWh, either determined by the RERRA or specified by the ARC and verified by the LSE, representing the cost the ARC will be charged, and the price the LSE will be credited, for retail customers represented by an ARC and participating in the Transmission Provider markets.

    Who knew Mikey was into electricity rates?

  8. Artor:

    Mikey should respond to these letters with a polite, “Thanks for your support. Your name, and that of your pastor, has been entered into our database, and my minions will pass it on to Satan, our Lord and Master, so you can be rewarded when he comes to reign here on Earth.”

  9. nigelTheBold, also Avo:

    You are clever and hard to trap.

    You avoid the birdseed I place near the hole at the edge of the cliff. When I painted a tunnel on the side of a cliff, and moved the train tracks, you ran through the tunnel; I, however, slammed into the rock. When my rocket powered roller skates arrived, I was sure I had you. But no. You ran over the cliff into thin air and hung suspended. I, of course, plummeted to agony as soon as I noticed there was no ground beneath my feet, and you escaped again.

    I’m wondering why I live near so many cliffs.

  10. iangould:

    “Your a jew. … Your a atheist probably too”

  11. Jasper of Maine:

    10. iangould

    To be fair, being Jewish is often seen as an ethnicity too… or like a “Cultural Christian”. Depending on the definition, atheism and being Jewish aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive… but it’s kind of muddy.

  12. slc1:

    Re Jasper of Main @ #11

    For example, Jerry Coyne and Jason Rosenhouse, both of whom are atheists, identify as cultural Jews.

  13. mrianabrinson:

    How can one take an imaginative object away from a non-material object? In other words, I can’t see how anyone can take “Christ” away from the “military”. They talk as though “Christ” is physically tangible and the military is a real person. “I hear you want to take Harvey (the rabbit) away from Little Johnny!” That’s what they sound like to me. Lucky for them, men in white coats don’t usually haul off religious people. On top of it all, they threaten people with hell and burning forever, which shows it is nothing more than manipulation and a control mechanism, yet they truly believe it is their god concept that is doing the threatening and not them. , when in fact they are the ones making the threats. It’s a shame that some religious fantasies and behaviours aren’t considered a mental illness, because in any other context, they would be considered mentally ill, just like the dude who came up with Harvey.

  14. Modusoperandi:

    richardelguru “Best thing you can say about that is it’s not all IN CAPS.”
    NOW YOUR JUST BEING RIDICULOUS! CAPITAL LETTERS MAXIMIZE TRUTH! MAXIMIZE!

  15. theschwa:

    Your wife. Your sons your daughters.

    Wow! he used “your” correctly. Finally.

    Unless he meant “You are sons you are daughters.” And he might have. The guys is…odd, to put it as nice as I can.

  16. katzenklavier:

    MRFF’s RSS feed delivers these regularly to my homepage and, believe me, most of them would make this guy’s writing skills look like those of William F Buckley.

  17. Stacey C.:

    Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? -Matthew 7:16

    I just love when “Christians” write this sort of loving, inclusive message! And ugh…the spelling/grammar.

  18. theschwa:

    @13:

    In other words, I can’t see how anyone can take “Christ” away from the “military”. They talk as though “Christ” is physically tangible and the military is a real person.

    It is quite easy, actually. They will force the military to run each and every medal thru a counter-current extractor where harsh solvents will strip all the Christy goodness and Holy Spirits from the awards, leaving only spiritually empty (dead) medals. Of course Satan will then enter them, but that is the MFRR’s (The Military Foundation Religious Religious) goal!!!!

  19. mrianabrinson:

    @18 ROFL That was good theschwa.

  20. dingojack:

    My dear mrianabrinson – don’t take your* love to town.
    :) Dingo
    ——-
    * or “you’re” if you are trying to emulate wingnutese

  21. Ibis3, Let's burn some bridges:

    But a Jewish atheist Satan who loves Allah? I wonder if they also think he’s from Kenya.

  22. birgerjohansson:

    If Weinstein “lives forever in flames” we will have the energy crisis solved (I assume that Weinstein is at least as fire-resistant as the terminator).

    If I am connected to Mike with a conducting cable, do I get to share in his Satanic powers?

  23. Mr Ed:

    First we learn that “Your loving arabs and there violent faith of Allah.” Then he goes on to tell us all the ways Jesus is going to make him and his family suffer. My favorite bit is the Christian Army and the prayer chain sort of like Voltron – Christian army activate prayer chain.

  24. holytape:

    But our Army of Christ is very much stronger Mikey Weinstein. Wait, that have a stronger Mikey Weinstein in their army? Are they cloning him? Are the making are army of clones? Come to think of it, this letter makes more sense if read in a Yoda voice.

    Wait, is this not a poorly written hate filled rant, but a teaser for an up-coming Star Holy Wars trilogy? If so, we as the army of darkness, must band together and stone George Lucas before he can complete his “Star Jihad Trilogy.”

  25. Draken:

    @Stacey C, #17:

    Ye shall know them by their fruitcakes

    Fixed.

  26. rabbitscribe:

    “The spelling and grammar is exactly what one would expect.

    That’s as it may be. However, the punctuation of this rant is remarkable insofar as there is entirely too much of it.

  27. Draken:

    BTW this seems to be the same deranged soul who wrote some weeks ago. He keeps blabbing about his pastor and ‘our church’. Only this time he’s used the correct permutation of the letters in the name ‘weinstein’.

  28. Synfandel:

    “The spelling and grammar is are exactly what one would expect.”

  29. Thumper; Atheist mate:

    I wonder what they suppose MFRR stands for?

    That started off funny, but got a bit sickening when they started saying his wife and kids deserved to suffer. That’s just wrong. I particularly like that their “good and blessed plan” (they prayed on it, doncha know!) is to pray more, but this time with the intention of sending Mikey, his family, and everyone in the MRFF to Hell for eternity. That sounds neither good nor blessed to me.

  30. Johnny Vector:

    I like how he’s a Jew who loves Allah. A Muslim Jew. A Juslim! (Or a Mew, but that’s much too cute and cuddly-sounding, when it’s obvious Mikey is a ferocious towering giant of evil. With horns, most likely. Oooh! Ooh! And a lizardy tail and long rubbery tongue just like Joel Grey that one time when he was on Buffy! Hey, has anyone ever seen Mikey Weinstein and Joel Grey together? No! Coincidence? Hardly!)

    Checkmate, FRMM!

  31. Rael Nidess:

    I read a lot of these messages that Mikey gets and fully 90% demonstrate what I’ve come to call the ‘MRFF dyslexia’. I suspect there’s a genetic connection between being unable to apprehend reality and being unable to correctly read a series of 4 capital letters.

  32. velociraptor:

    @ Nigel the Bold #9

    LMAO! Enjoy your shiny new Internet.

  33. tsig:

    I’d avoid that Jesus fellow since he drags people to Hell.

  34. Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant):

    Stream-of-consciousness can be a powerful literary or journalistic tool. Sadly in this case it’s like hooking a heart monitor up to an oak tree.

  35. grumpyoldfart:

    Of course the pastor didn’t say those words; they’re just part of the e-mailer’s sadistic fantasy. I feel sorry for the spouse when the e-mailer decides to act out the fantasy on a nearby victim.

  36. cry4turtles:

    Guess we all know what he’ll do when Pastor tells him to jump off a cliff.

  37. jasonfailes:

    The RFMM, or whatever “there” called, should respond to every one of these with a simple letter describing the First Amendment in language anyone can understand, accompanied by a corrected and graded copy of the original hate mail.

  38. abb3w:

    According to this web analyzer, it’s written at about a 3rd grade reading level.

  39. mobius:

    Can’t you just feel that Christian lurve?

  40. mobius:

    Ah. Home schooled?

  41. Big Boppa:

    Is it just me or did anyone else read this and hear the voice of Floyd R Turbo in their head?

    (For those of you who are too young to get the reference….enjoy)

  42. Tsu Dho Nimh:

    Why bring up that he’s in New Mexico?

    Are they claiming it’s a foreign country?

  43. coffeehound:

    @ 29,

    I wonder what they suppose MFRR stands for?

    Mikey’s For the Repeal of Religion? Or Malcontents Feeling Really Randy. Either one works.

  44. birgerjohansson:

    “More Friggin’ Rolls Royces” ?

  45. Michael Heath:

    coffeehound writes:

    Malcontents Feeling Really Randy

    I’d edit that to, Malcontents Feeling Really Randi.

  46. unemployedphilosopher:

    Unrelated: “MRFF” is exactly the noise my cat makes when she’s about to introduce my face to a catnip mouse. When I’m asleep. No, it is not pleasant.

    This idiocy is pretty much on the same rhetorical level. You can’t talk to these people. I find that the best way to get them to run away is fetching a copy of whatever fictional novel is handy, and reading excerpts at random at them. Also, as a bonus prize, you get to mess with them a bit, in a non-harmful way.

  47. podkayne:

    Just how weak would the actual faith of these fuckwits have to be that they get so upset by anyone with the temerity to opt out of it? Let alone that they have to work themselves up into such a frothing later about stuff that MRFF doesn’t actually do? Although, in fairness to the OP, it sounds like it is the pastor, or the pastor’s information source, that is the defamatory liar here, and that the OP is more guilty of well meaning credulity more than anything else. Of course, this guy’s intentions being for the best probably doesn’t make it any more pleasant for Mikey to recieve this sort of nonsense. For what it’s worth, Christian here, and appreciate what MRFF is trying to do, and feel ashamed of fellow Christians who, for whatever reason, post this sort of bullshit.

  48. Jafafa Hots:

    America (and the world’s) savior Jesus Christ.

    I like how they added the minor detail (the world) along with the important part, America.

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