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Barton at War With Starbucks

I don’t drink coffee and I can’t imagine why I would ever care where someone else gets theirs, but David Barton told the congregation at an Alabama church recently that “You can’t drink Starbucks and be Biblically right” because they support marriage equality.

Okay David, but why stop at Starbucks? You sell your books on Amazon, don’t you? They support same-sex marriage too. Their founder gave $2.5 million to advance marriage equality in the state of Washington. And you can’t use any Apple or PC, since both companies support it too. For that matter, you can’t use the internet at all because most of the routers used were made by Cisco, which also supports gay marriage.

In fact, as I documented quite some time ago, there are more than 300 corporations that get a perfect score from the Human Rights Campaign in their support for equality for their LGBT employees. Which means you basically can’t buy anything. You’re going to have to become Amish. Good luck with that.

Comments

  1. says

    George Washington was the first American who proposed a boycott of Starbucks and the internet for not being Christian enough.

  2. says

    @holytape #1 – Except that, according to the political doctrines espoused by people like Barton, George Washington was ineligible to be president: he was born a subject of the British Crown and served as a general in a foreign army (Great Britain) before he turned traitor and rose up against God’s Appointed Sovereign in armed rebellion. In fact, John Tyler was the first president to meet the far right’s definition of “natural born citizen,” as the nine Presidents before him had all been born British (Martin Van Buren had been born in 1782, after the start of the Revolution but before the Constitution had been ratified.)

    Then again, a self-consistent narrative has never been something that Barton and his ilk worried about.

  3. beezlebubby says

    “You’re going to have to become Amish. Good luck with that.”

    Or he could just immigrate somewhere where the laws are more in line with his beliefs.

  4. says

    I heard Barton is writing a new book claiming that the Bible says coffee is nothing but a gay atheist conspiracy invented by the Muslims.

  5. Larry says

    I wonder, is it time to short Starbucks stock? With an admonition like that, their shares gotta tank.

  6. raven says

    Barton is just selling the fundie staples. Fear and hate.

    If you think Starbucks is evil, just look at Procter and Gamble.

    According to the fundies, P&G is run by satanists!!!

    wikipedia:

    These interpretations have been denied by company officials, and no evidence linking the company to the Church of Satan or any other occult organization has ever been presented. The company unsuccessfully sued Amway from 1995 to 2003 over rumors forwarded through a company voicemail system in 1995. In 2011, the company successfully sued individual Amway distributors for reviving and propagating the false rumors.[34]

    The Church of Satan denies being supported by Procter & Gamble.[35]

    1. They sued and won million dollar judgements against some fundies for libel.

    2. They no longer use their moon and stars logo though.

    Fundies live in demon haunted worlds of their own invention and run on fear and hate.

  7. matty1 says

    “You can’t drink Starbucks and be Biblically right”

    I assume they must sell non-kosher food, or maybe the staff uniforms involve mixed fabrics.

  8. Childermass says

    Boycott Amazon? But they sell his books. Now a good chunk of this loon’s book selling and thus his income was at Starbucks I am sure Barton would just love Starbucks.

    Gregory in Seattle @ 2,

    The stupidity of the birthers notwitstanding, the Constitution explicitly states that those who who are U.S. citizens when the Constitution was adapted can be president. That clause is moot today, but not moot for the first presidents. The birthers are aware of this. Thus by the standards of the extreme right wingers, George Washington could be president. And besides, the first presidents where white…

  9. Christoph Burschka says

    George Washington was the first American who proposed a boycott of Starbucks and the internet for not being Christian enough.

    I was a bit suspicious of that claim initially, but then I saw it confirmed in one of David Barton’s books.

  10. Ellie says

    After I retired, I went from an every single working day customer (sometimes twice a day) to once in a blue moon. That’s about to change. Now, if I am anywhere near a Starbucks, I’m buying coffee.

  11. says

    Ray, buddy, you need to keep your powder dry, pal. Starbucks ALLOWS gunz in their stores if state laws do so. You’re gonna piss off a certain number of jacked-up, strapped, lock’n’loadloonz. That could come back to bitecha in the ass, when you need some help with atheomuslimistical home invaderz.

    It is, I admit, a quandary I hate Barton AND Starbuck’s coffee (the barristas are but innocent pawns–well, most of them, anyway).

  12. spamamander, internet amphibian says

    Living in Washington I am required by law to drink Starbucks anyway. Even here on the redneck side of the state.

  13. Trebuchet says

    George Washington was the first American who proposed a boycott of Starbucks and the internet for not being Christian enough.

    I’m pretty sure Barton would have said it was Thomas Jefferson.

    I heard Barton is writing a new book claiming that the Bible says coffee is nothing but a gay atheist conspiracy invented by the Muslims.

    Well, the part about being invented by Muslims is probably true.

  14. dingojack says

    Since Coffea sp. is a naturally occurring plant, and since god (supposedly) made all plants and animals (see Genesis), and Coffee is (allegedly) a Gay-Atheist-Muslim plot -
    Then god must be gay, atheist and a Muslim. QED
    DIngo

  15. says

    And you can’t use any Apple or PC, since both companies support it too.

    Since when is “PC” a company name?</pedantic>

  16. Pierce R. Butler says

    I don’t drink coffee and I can’t imagine why I would ever care where someone else gets theirs…

    I don’t drink it either, but I have a lot of respect for those who insist on buying only fair trade coffee, considering the brutal exploitation of third-world labor/nations that goes into each cup of the other kind.

  17. whirligig says

    “The stupidity of the birthers notwitstanding, the Constitution explicitly states that those who who are U.S. citizens when the Constitution was adapted can be president.”

    But since Obama is Satan (born ~4000-10,000 B.C.), he still qualifies.

  18. greg1466 says

    You sell your books on Amazon, don’t you? They support same-sex marriage too.

    Mr Barton replies…”Let me clarify. What I meant to say is that you can’t do business with any company that supports the Gay and be Biblically correct, provided I don’t profit from said company.”

  19. rr says

    …the brutal exploitation of third-world labor/nations that goes into each cup of the other kind.

    Now you’re talking about some good-to-the-last-drop Biblically-correct slain-in-the-spirit Jesus coffee! Throw in some mass murder for an extra-rich aroma!

  20. timberwoof says

    Knowing that fewer religious nutcases are likely to visit Starbucks makes it better. I just wish that “half-and-half coffee and hot chocolate” didn’t translate into Starbuckese and back as an espresso with a squirt of chocolate syrup.

  21. yoav says

    Or he could just immigrate somewhere where the laws are more in line with his beliefs.

    I Understand the weather in Saudi Arabia really sucks but on the other hand you can probably get better (and 100% equality free) coffee then you would at Starbucks*.
    * Finding a better coffee then Starbucks is like finding someone who lies less then David Barton, hardly an impressive achievement.

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