Bachmann Won’t Run for Reelection

Someone I know from Minnesota recently suggested to me that they didn’t think Michele Bachmann was going to run for reelection and I dismissed the idea out of hand. Silly me. She’s now announced that she is not going to run in 2014 after all.

So what will she do now? Being a paid Fox News contributor is virtually inevitable. So is going on the Christian rubber chicken circuit, where she will be paid handsomely to throw red meat to the rubes. But what am I supposed to do without her? She provides so much great material for the blog. I feel betrayed.


  1. shadowwalkyr says

    Well, just because she’s leaving politics doesn’t mean she’s necessarily leaving the public eye. Like Sarah Palin, she strikes me as the kind of person who only exists when somebody’s paying attention to her. She’ll be comedian fodder for years.

  2. steve oberski says

    It’s like live trapping that pesky squirrel that’s been burying nuts in your petunias and releasing it far away, another one will just move in to take it’s place.

    Hmm, a humane trap for wingnuts, could there be a demand for this ?

    And what sort of bait would be used ?

  3. anubisprime says

    steve oberski @ 4

    Hmm, a humane trap for wingnuts

    Let’s not be hasty here!

  4. Larry says

    Don’t y’all worry about Michele. There’s plenty of grifting to do out there. Palin can’t do it all.

  5. Ben P says

    Ah! But how do we know she isn’t lying now?
    I mean…

    NPR did two “man on the street” interviews and found one moderate who’s glad she resigned because he thought she was an embarassment to the state, and another who sincerely hoped she was resigning so she could make a more serious run for president.

  6. slc1 says

    There is speculation on the intertoobs that she is planning to run against Al Franken next year. I’m sure he’s shivering in his boots at the prospect. End snark.

  7. tynk says


    Well, just because she’s leaving politics

    She did not say she was leaving politics. She said 8 years is enough to lead one political district.

    I made it 3 minutes into the video and could not take anymore. Most of it was “I am not running again because I chose not to. Not because I could not win, I am a crook, people hate me, my husband told me not to.”

  8. raven says

    Hmm, a humane trap for wingnuts, could there be a demand for this ?

    And what sort of bait would be used ?

    Money works as well as anything.

    Given Bachmann’s delusional state and never getting anything right, it is hard to say why she decided not to run.

    She outspent her last opponent something like 10 to 1 and barely won. She is also under investigation for campaign funding irregularities. Given how careless she is with facts, it is likely she was equally careless with the laws and campaign funds. She may even have just diverted a lot for her own personal use or something really, seriously illegal.

  9. D. C. Sessions says

    I know, where could you possibly release them ?

    If drone strikes don’t terrify our enemies, we could paradrop wingnuts on them.

    As for what Bachmann might do, there’s always teaming up with Palin for the evangelical mud-wrestling circuit.

  10. D. C. Sessions says

    I think it’s the investigations.

    You think she’s pulling a Sanford? Hoping they’ll cut her some slack because “she’s already suffered enough?” Since, after all, her political career is over, she’ll get a stern admonisment and left alone?

    How did that work out for Sanford, by the way?

  11. says

    How did that work out for Sanford, by the way?

    Pretty well since he’s back in Congress.

    I think she’s ducking out of the public eye while her campaign quietly settles with the FEC. After which, we can bet on her making a bid for another office.

  12. D. C. Sessions says


    That was kind of my point. Go all meek and mild, announce that you’re stepping down, and chill until the heat is off.

    They always go for that “now that she’s leaving office, there’s no need to harsh on her. She’s suffered enough already.” Then next election, she’s back running for the Senate.

    I’d be OK with the “suffered enough” thing (why don’t young black men ever get that, by the way?) only if she had a felony conviction attached to a suspended sentence with terms that would keep her out of office for the rest of her life.

  13. stubby says

    The Democratic opponent, who was leading Bachmann in the polls, dropped out today. He left with a nice parting jab.

    “This was never about Jim Graves; this was about challenging the ineffective leadership and extremist ideology of Michele Bachmann on behalf of those she represents. As of Wednesday, that goal was accomplished, and our supporters should be incredibly proud of that accomplishment.”

  14. D. C. Sessions says

    As of Wednesday,

    “my chances for actually winning the election in this blood-red district took a nosedive and I’m not fool enough to waste my time and money tilting at windmills.”

  15. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Steve, #6:

    How about time-porting them to Pinochet’s Chile?

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