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May 23 2013

Wingnut: Obama Should Admit to Being First Gay President

(Former) Coach Dave Daubenmire, John Freshwater’s buddy who thinks that the job of a football coach at a public high school is to convert his players to Christianity, continues to pollute the world with his stupidity and bigotry. In this video, he demands that President Obama come out of the closet as the first gay president:

I think it’s time for President Obama to come out of the closet. Yeah, you heard me. How about he come out and admit he’s the first openly gay president or, better yet, openly bi-sexual president. You know, there’s some history there. President Obama, his face seems to really light up when he begins to talk about the gay agenda. He was so proud when that Jason Collins came out of the closet … I think it’s time to have the first gay president come out of the closet.

Even if this were true, why? So you can spew more bigotry at him? What an incentive.

25 comments

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  1. 1
    Modusoperandi

    Obama wouldn’t be gay. He can’t be. He reproduces by budding, like all the space lizards.

  2. 2
    Skip White

    Yeah, and my face lights up when I talk about the Pirates winning a game, but that doesn’t make me a baseball player.

  3. 3
    theschwa

    “…admit he’s the first openly gay president…”
    Wait, if he is OPENLY gay, wouldn’t that mean he has already come out? How can one be openly gay in secret?

  4. 4
    Zeno

    Incoherence is a way of life for these people, isn’t it?

  5. 5
    Michael Heath

    Zeno writes:

    Incoherence is a way of life for these people, isn’t it?

    Fundamentalism demands it.

  6. 6
    Scr... Archivist

    I think it’s time to have the first gay president come out of the closet.

    After 156 years, it’s a bit late for that.

  7. 7
    CaitieCat, in no way a robot nosireebot

    What a senseless waste of the glories of chlorophyll and mitosis this guy is.

  8. 8
    Larry

    Why, that’s worse than Watergate!!11ty

    We need a House investigation started on this matter now! It’s impeachment for sure. Ya know who else was a closeted, openl gay dictator? Hitler.

  9. 9
    slc1

    Re #6

    The question as to whether James Buchanan was gay is speculative. Similar allegations have been made against Abraham Lincoln, who is known to have shared a bed with other men.

  10. 10
    kantalope

    Thanks Scr… Archivist for sending me to read up on Buchanan. That part of his life didn’t get much play in my history class.

  11. 11
    Gretchen

    You don’t stick up for anyone’s rights unless it’s your rights, or the rights of someone you love.
    If you stick up for the rights of black people, you either are black or you are in love with a black person (and hence an “n___ lover.”)
    If you’re sticking up for the rights of gay people, you either are gay or you’re in love with a gay person….which means you’re gay.

    This is the mentality of an extremely self-centered person, who assumes that everyone else thinks just the way he does.

  12. 12
    royandale

    Methinks the coach needs to step out of the ol’ closet, that’s what.

  13. 13
    dingojack

    Why Dave? So you don;t feel so alone? :(
    Dingo

  14. 14
    Mr Ed

    My face lights up when I hear about progress in gay rights (nee the gay agenda). I’ve meet several people who I really admire that I later found out were gay and suffered because of their orientation. I’m happy knowing that those who don’t feel the can come out know they aren’t alone and those who have found some one special can live happily. I don’t need to personally get something to smile at others fortune.

  15. 15
    CaitieCat, in no way a robot nosireebot

    royandale, I recognize that’s meant as a joke, but I hope you can see on further reflection that the joke relies on homophobia to be funny – first, that there’s something bad about his being secretly gay (instead of such hypocrisy being tragic), and second that all virulent homophobes are secretly gay, which basically absolves hetero people for virulent homophobia by imputing the worst of it to people who are also gay.

    It might be time for that joke to go the way of the Polack and Eye-talian and Pat’n'Mike routines of yesteryear. It’s much more subtle, and much more likely to be invoked by someone who considers theirself an ally without recognizing it’s rather ugly fruit, but it’s still not doing anyone any benefit, and not harming the establishment line one bit, rather upholding the status quo.

    Thanks for considering my point.

  16. 16
    dshetty

    Obama has so many firsts to his name.
    The first atheist, muslim, socialist, communist, kenyan, black and now gay president of the USA.

  17. 17
    karmacat

    Sounds like a certain coach is desperate for a date…

  18. 18
    Trickster Goddess

    “How can one be openly gay in secret?”

    Ask Anderson Cooper, Jodie Foster and any number of other celebrities are/have been out to their family, friends and colleagues but kept quiet about their orientation to the press and general public.

  19. 19
    reasonbe

    Why do most of these hateful guys have goatees?
    Also, cute graphic!

  20. 20
    d.c.wilson

    reasonbe@19:

    It’s the Star Trek rule. Goatees = Evil Twin from a parallel universe. In some other universe, there’s a goatee-less Daubenmire who is the nicest person you’re never get to meet.

  21. 21
    bmiller

    Thankls for mentioning this, Scr Archivist!

    The Buchanan Presidency is…INTERESTING, isn’t it?

  22. 22
    Ichthyic

    his face seems to really light up when he begins to talk about the gay agenda

    I’ll take “projection” for 500, Alex.

  23. 23
    Ichthyic

    It might be time for that joke to go the way of the Polack and Eye-talian and Pat’n’Mike routines of yesteryear.

    It might have been used as a joke, but the underlying patterns are well documented.

  24. 24
    Nick Gotts

    It might have been used as a joke, but the underlying patterns are well documented. – Ichthyic

    There’s some evidence that men who express homophobia have on average a greater physical reaction to porn aimed at gay men, than those who do not. That does not mean that every loudmouthed homophobe is a closeted gay.

  25. 25
    kevinalexander

    Also, that guy he’s married to looks so good in a dress.

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