The Alexandria Lakes Area Tea Party, a Minnesota affiliate of the Tea Party Patriots, is asking its followers to pray for George Soros to convert from atheism (is he even an atheist? I have no idea) to Christianity. Since they can’t figure out how to make PDF files open in a browser, City Pages has the full document. It’s pretty funny stuff.
The Alexandria Lakes Area Tea Party (ALATP), Alexandria, MN, would like to invite you to participate in a world-wide prayer campaign for the conversion of George Soros from atheism to Christianity. Please say a prayer everyday for the conversion of his soul—in fact, perhaps more than once a day. This prayer campaign must be done to the Glory of God–not to glorify the tea party movement.
Yes, don’t just pray once a day, pray more than once a day. Because God might not hear you the first time; he is infinitely old, after all. Or he may be busy helping Tim Tebow win a football game or something. So you have to pray a lot, several times a day, every day, until the old man finally pays attention. They even have suggested prayers for you to recite:
Feel free to pray from your own heart. The following are examples which you could use:
Heavenly Father, we lay before you the name of George Soros. Help his unbelief; bring him to faith and relieve his soul of the burden of his sin; shower him with the blessings of forgiveness and grace. We pray in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
God, Creator of all, we pray for one of your own people—George Soros. We ask that you put someone in his life to witness to him about your wonderful gifts of Law and Gospel. Change his heart; touch him with the precious Blood of Jesus Christ so he will be healed of his unbelief. In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Eternal God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, send your Holy Spirit to the heart of George Soros so that he may receive your Word and believe it. May he find pleasure in your Holy Word, forgiveness, redemption, and sanctification. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9). Lord, bring George Soros to living faith in you. Amen.
You should probably rotate these because you just never know which specific language God is going to respond to. He’s kind of a moody SOB, to be honest with you. And his “answers” to prayer are always indistinguishable from not answering prayers.