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Pat Robertson Warns of False Prophets

In the grand tradition of Glenn Beck telling his followers to beware of conspiracy theorists, Pat Robertson told 700 Club viewers that they should stay away from false prophets by checking their track record of success. My favorite part is his co-host saying that there so many people who are “self-appointed” prophets. Terri, all “prophets” are self-appointed.

Uh, Pat. Really? Are you sure you wanna go there? Didn’t you say that God told you Mitt Romney would win the 2012 election? Why yes, you did:

In fact, Pat, your track record is terrible. The Bible says you should be stoned.


  1. grumpyoldfart says

    That Pat Robertson. He’s a real little scallywag sometimes, isn’t he?

  2. busterggi says

    None of these big-name Christians buggers would still be alive if their followers took the bible seriously.

  3. Synfandel says

    That’s Pat Robertson’s record, not his track record. A horse has a record at the track. The best performance by any horse at the track is the track record.

  4. raven says

    In fact, Pat, your track record is terrible. The Bible says you should be stoned.

    Pat R. also predicted the imminent Second Coming/Apocalypse in the 1980’s.

    We are still waiting. Hmmm, well just about everyone has lost interest.

  5. says

    “What is the fruit out of which this stuff is coming? What is the soil…?”

    It’s interesting that Pat gets the totally non-controversial traditional interpretation of the “fruits” passage exactly backwards. It’s not even really interpretation; that’s a straightforward passage, and he’s completely inverting it.

  6. andrewkiener says

    @ 4. …”the best performance by any horse…” Actually, the phrase “he has a track record” means a horse has run at a track previously, and thus there is some data to use in predicting the horse’s upcoming performance. Ed’s usage is basically correct.

  7. gertzedek says

    Technically speaking, not all prophets are self-appointed. E.g., the prophet Elisha was appointed by Elijah.

  8. mobius says

    A complete lack of ability to see what he is saying applies to himself. Big surprise.

  9. vmanis1 says

    I’m reminded of the various Zen koans where the student claims to have achieved enlightenment, at which point the teacher hits him. And the student is then enlightened.

    I would be quite happy to enlighten Mr Robertson.

  10. says

    pat robertson is fully aware of how full of shit he is. he doesn’t care, and he is making a lot of money while being full of shit and not caring.

  11. Matt G says

    Well there goes another perfectly good irony meter. I need to start buying these things in bulk.

  12. thumper1990 says

    “You can dominate someone that way, you say “I have a message for you from the Lord…”

    The lack of self-awareness is staggering.

  13. says

    “the prophet Elisha was appointed by Elijah.”

    According to Elijah’s spokesperson, hmmm? {;>)

    “Well there goes another perfectly good irony meter. I need to start buying these things in bulk.”

    Or you could learn to turn them off, thus avoiding the EMP* that enemanates from Patty’s Piehole whenever you see his name in a post.

    * Egotistical Monomaniac Perfidy

  14. lancifer says

    fifth dentist,

    My “related news” remark featured Ted Bundy warning of serial killers.

  15. thebookofdave says

    Gack! Your post titles are producing spit-takes now. You should announce this month’s Bryan Fischer Award now. Pat Robertson is a tough act to follow.

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