Jessica Ahlquist Wins Award From Hefner

Jessica Ahlquist, that evil little thing, is set to become a little more evil after being awarded this year’s Hugh M. Hefner First Amendment Award. The Providence Journal has an article and the comment section is predictably filled with presumptuous and vile rhetoric from those who objected to her lawsuit. Especially by some asshole named Thomas Fournier, who apparently thinks this means Jessica is going to pose for Playboy:

Rhinoplasty, hip reduction, breast enlargement, don’t worry Hugh Obamacare will pay for it.

Oh how terribly clever and funny of you. Then he leaves this comment, which makes no sense at all:

Lets look at the facts.

From what I have heard she didn’t know the banner existed until it was pointed out to her. Of course we will never learn the truth. Since the country was not communist 60 years ago by the decency of any society the prayer should have been Grandfathered In. But of course communist do not respect anyones beliefs that they do not agree with their Satanic course

I guess those are what passes for “facts” in his world. And this comment from Jim Hackett is rather ironic:

Here is the text of the banner. If you have a problem with this, you definitely have problems.

Our Heavenly Father,
Grant us each day the desire to do our best,
To grow mentally and morally as well as physically,
To be kind and helpful to our classmates and teachers,
To be honest with ourselves as well as with others,
Help us to be good sports and smile when we lose as well as when we win,
Teach us the value of true friendship,
Help us always to conduct ourselves so as to bring credit to Cranston High School West.

The ones who really had problems with it were those who showered Jessica and her family with hate mail and threats, proving that they don’t really believe in the substance of the mural. They only care about its use as a bludgeon to beat non-Christians with.

And this, from Deb Larsen:

This is a commentary on how intolerant our society has become. It used to be that we were taught to respect others and their beliefs and that we do not have to agree nor disagree with each other. We could find a way to co-exist. Today the sight of anything that one finds offensive sends people into a state of lawsuits! If she felt so strongly about the poem maybe she should have moved to another school district that did not have such an offensive tone. Why must all citizens be punished because one person was not taught to be tolerant of others and to respect them. That poem could have been seen as inspirational by others not because of it’s content alone but by the fact that a former student had written it and it was a part of the history of the school. The making of profit due to an at best flawed or manipulative character is a disgrace and not a lesson that our children should be taught.

Yeah. Anyone wanna take bets on how long it would take this person to go from “OMG, how intolerant” to “terrorist!” if that mural had been addressed to Allah instead? And for crying out loud, no one is being “punished” by the removal of the banner. This is just a hornet’s nest of stupidity.


  1. tubi says


    That was my first reaction as well. Talk about projecting. He sure seems to have spent a lot of time analyzing her attributes, just in case.

  2. scienceavenger says

    I wonder if Jim Hackett would accept this revised banner:

    Do your best,
    Grow mentally and morally as well as physically,
    Be kind and helpful to your classmates and teachers,
    Be honest with yourselves as well as with others,
    Be good sports and smile when you lose as well as when you win,
    Value true friendship,
    Always to conduct yourselves so as to bring credit to Cranston High School West

    If he have a problem with this, he’s the one with the problems.

    And let’s keep in mind Jessica is still a teenager, and not add fuel to the sick fires out there.

  3. Artor says

    What’s up with guys who fantasize about women, but can’t help thinking about “improvements,” like rhinoplasty, hip reduction, breast enlargement, etc… Is Jessica beautiful, or isn’t she? Besides, isn’t she still underage? The whole line of thought is creepy.

  4. Doug Little says

    Cool, The Hef is involved with first amendment issues as well. I never knew that. It will be hard to top his compatriot when it comes to sacrifices for the first amendment though.

  5. Armored Scrum Object says

    “Hip reduction”? Is that even a thing (Google suggests to me that a procedure by that name exists, but is for treating a dislocated hip)? And wouldn’t a Playboy model be a more likely candidate for “hip augmentation”?

  6. Larry says

    Doug, seriously, you didn’t know Playboy magazine and Hefner have a long standing interest in the first amendment? Back in the 1950’s, when he first started publishing the magazine, it was all he could do to keep from being arrested as a pornographer. He was in court on multiple occasions and is responsible for a major cultural shift. For all his recent creepiness and obsessions with blondes 60 years his junior, he deserves major props for his efforts in that domain.

  7. says

    Rhinoplasty, hip reduction, breast enlargement, don’t worry Hugh Obamacare will pay for it

    Too bad there is no brain enlargement surgery that Obamacare could pay for that moron to undergo.

  8. Synfandel says

    And wouldn’t a Playboy model be a more likely candidate for “hip augmentation”?

    Perhaps Mr. Fournier likes his women a little on the masculine side.

  9. Matrim says

    Whenever I think of 1st Amendment issues and nudie mags my thought always go to Flint rather than Hefner. I have no doubt Playboy has had its 1st Amendment issues, but I haven’t really heard if them.

  10. Synfandel says

    From what I have heard she didn’t know the banner existed until it was pointed out to her.

    And that matters because…?

  11. says

    Synfandel @ 13

    While I’m loathe to speak for a moron (thinking like one could become habit forming), I’m guessing that his “point” is that, if she was unaware of it, it couldn’t have bothered her and, as all morons know, if it doesn’t bother you, it really isn’t a constitutional violation. That’s why they always say things like why does the ACLU/FFRF come into our community and try to change things that (most) people think are ok?

  12. says

    Today the sight of anything that one finds offensive sends people into a state of lawsuits!

    Actually I’m pretty sure America has been overly litigious for quite some time. But that’s neither here nor there.

    I’m also pretty sure that Jessica asked for the prayer to be removed, the school outright refused, and only then did she sue them for violating the First Amendment. Which they did.

    So Ms. Larsen, perhaps your understanding is a little off regarding who is not tolerant and respectful of others.

  13. says

    Deb Larsen is right. This used to be a tolerant society, resepectful of others and their beliefs. Then you people started insisting your beliefs counted, too.
    Thanks for ruining America.

  14. caseloweraz says

    The moranity is strong in those comments to the Providence Journal. A good many of the commenters are sure that when Jessica Ahlquist receives the award she’ll end up sleeping with Hef himself. Then there are the usual complaints about her taking religious symbols away from believers and thereby ruining America. Ed Brayton hasn’t begun to convey the degree of stupidity (not that I’m wishing he had.)

    Some of the other winners of the HMH First Amendment Award (which BTW was established in 1979 by Christie Hefner):

    Nat Hentoff (1980)
    Edward Asner, Allan Burns, Seth Freeman, and Gene Reynolds (1981)
    Barry W. Lynn (1986-87)
    John Henry Falk (1989)
    Sydney Schanberg (1991)
    Eugenie Scott (1999)
    Molly Ivins (2002-3)
    Jack Spadaro (2006)
    Jessalyn Radack (2012)
    Zack Kopplin (2012)
    Stanley Sheinbaum (2012)

    Wikipedia has a list, but it’s incomplete. If you want the whole (albeit brief) story, go to the HMH Foundation itself.

  15. cry4turtles says

    I always thought Hugh Hefner was a creepazoid, but if he wants to share the fortune he made on the backs of women more power to him. Wish I could get me some.

  16. Doug Little says

    Larry @9,

    No I didn’t. When you hear pornographer and first amendment rights everyone else lives in Larry Flynt’s shadow. It makes sense though I’ll have to brush up on my Playboy history (Just for the articles mind you).

  17. naturalcynic says

    Without a Hugh Hefner, there wouldn’t have been a Bob Guccione and without a Guccione, there wouldn’t have been a Larry Flynt.

  18. Rip Steakface says


    Jessica is roughly my age, slightly older, and I’m 18, so she’s legal. Still creepy as hell, though.

  19. notruescott says

    if he wants to share the fortune he made on the backs of women more power to him…

    I thought he made his fortune on their fronts.

  20. Tony says

    I was thrilled to see her story featured on Peter Sagal’s new PBS series on the Constitution this week. Did anyone else catch it?

  21. Lou Norman says

    / Hi Ed. This is just a little something I spotted while on the web. /

    Congrats to Larry Flynt who has been accepted into the “Filthy Still” Club (Rev. 22:11) but who’s evidently rejected a “Get Out Free” ticket offered 24/7 by Big J that’s good during only one lifetime (length of lifetime not guaranteed)! If you know of any other potty mouths who would be good Hell-minded members of the Club, please send us their names.

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