Schlafly: Bring Back McCarthyism!

Wingnut den mother Phyllis Schlafly has a great idea: Bring back the House Un-American Activities Committee to ferret out all those evil Muslims who have infiltrated our government. You know, like President Obama and Anthony Weiner. Because that worked out so well the first time.

The Boston bombing crime shows that comprehensive immigration reform should not be only a southern border problem or even just a problem of illegal aliens. It’s also a problem of foreigners who are admitted legally but should never have been admitted, and of others admitted legally on a visa but are not tracked to make sure they depart when their visitor’s time expires, as U.S. law requires.

For starters, why would our government have admitted the Tsarnaev family whose son was named Tamerlan? That should have been a red alert because that is the name of one of the world’s notorious mass murderers, a 14th-century Central Asian warlord named Tamerlan, who killed about 17 million people.

Riiiiight. And we should keep out anyone named Joseph too because of Stalin. Wait, what about Joe McCarthy? Come to think of it, what McCarthy and his pals did was very much like a Stalinist purge.

It’s long overdue for Congress to have a series of hearings on the loopholes, broken promises and disobeyed laws involving both legal and illegal entry into the United States. It would be useful to reinstate the House Committee on Un-American Activities so we can have a look at those in our midst who may be jihadists, dupes of violent Muslim indoctrination, or (in old Communist lingo) fellow travelers or useful idiots.

Sounds good. You know who we should look for first? People who think we should investigate others for being “un-American.” That’s downright un-American, if you ask me.

37 comments on this post.
  1. Ben P:

    For starters, why would our government have admitted the Tsarnaev family whose son was named Tamerlan? That should have been a red alert because that is the name of one of the world’s notorious mass murderers, a 14th-century Central Asian warlord named Tamerlan, who killed about 17 million people.

    Well…not quite.

    The individual who founded the Timurid dynasty, is named in history books as “Tamerlane,” likely a cognate of Tsarnaev’s first name. (not quite the same source languge but another central asian language). But his *name* was “Timūr-e Lang” i.e. “Timur the Lame.”

  2. coragyps:

    “useful idiots”

    Useless idiots like Phyllis, however, we don’t much want to look at for very long.

    Too bad her organization is such a political force here in Texas…….

  3. Brett McCoy:

    We should also eject anyone named William, because there was a conquerer from France who came to England and took it over in 1066., and you know them French people are kinda “funny”.

  4. doublereed:

    Hahaha “Wingnut den mother” XD

  5. Geds:

    For starters, why would our government have admitted the Tsarnaev family whose son was named Tamerlan? That should have been a red alert because that is the name of one of the world’s notorious mass murderers..

    By that logic we also need to get rid of all Jeffreys (Dahmer), Timothys (McVeigh), and Jareds (Loughner). Oh, also, John and Wayne (Gacy).

    The South, meanwhile, will probably lobby for getting rid of William (Tecumseh Sherman) and maybe Ulysses, but who names their kid Ulysses anymore? And we certainly shouldn’t let any Nathan (Bedford Forrest) hang around.

    It’s like conservative ideology is just one long string of saying random shit without even thinking there might be an unintended consequence…

  6. smhll:

    House Committee for the Persecution of People with Un-American Names, anyone?

  7. VeritasKnight:

    Maybe they’ll get rid of all the Sams, since Grant’s personal nickname was Sam.

  8. godlesspanther:

    This is who the Texas State BOE considered to be a more important historical figure than Thurgood Marshal.

  9. D. C. Sessions:

    Have we forgotten the Karls (Carl, Carlos, etc.) ? Not to mention the guy who was so horrible that we had to fight a war to get away from him: George.

  10. Synfandel:

    We’ll have to turf the Phyllises too, because Phyllis Summers was guilty of kidnapping and torture on The Young and the Restless.

  11. patricksimons:

    Not that Phyllis Schlafly’s remarks qualify as very smart in the vast scheme of things, but it’s about as smart as anything else she’s said over the years.

  12. Larry:

    Because nothing says DANGER quite like have a name similar to some dude from the 14th century.

  13. Captain Mike:

    I don’t know that I’d call Tamerlane a mass murderer. Waging war is a bit different than straight up murdering people, despite the fact that both activities manufacture corpses. His military campaigns resulted in the deaths of 17 million people, but he didn’t personally kill more than 5, 6 million tops.

  14. Reginald Selkirk:

    Off-topic: queue this one up for a post:
    The Ron Paul Institute: Be Afraid, Very Afraid

    … As difficult as it was then to believe that Paul had no role in the production of newsletters written in his own name and which netted his family over $1 million per year, or that he did not even know who was writing them, it is now impossible to extricate Paul from the extremist views of his hangers-on. That is because Paul, who retired from Congress in January, has decisively thrown in his lot with a bevy of conspiracy theorists, cranks, and apologists for some of the worst regimes on the planet…

  15. doublereed:

    Yea, Ron Paul Institute got a nice post on Hatewatch.
    http://www.splcenter.org/blog/2013/04/26/ron-pauls-new-organization-reportedly-stacked-with-extremists/

    Apparently it’s loaded with Neo-Confederates and 9/11 Truthers and such.

  16. Modusoperandi:

    “Are you now or will you ever be a Muslim?”

  17. laurentweppe:

    But his *name* was “Timūr-e Lang

    Then the next step is obvious: Bann Fritz Lang movies!

  18. Randomfactor:

    “Schlafly” sounds pretty danged foreign.

  19. Abby Normal:

    Didn’t Rep. Steve King make this same suggestion a few years ago? Though the name thing is a new twist. Come to think of it, you can’t get much more un-American than being a King.

  20. baal:

    Doesn’t ‘Phylis Schlafly’ relate to the bizare practices of insect stuff done by some satanists? Fill-us (with) the schla – flies? I don’t think that’s very American. Someone should investigate.

    Also, Michele Bachmann is also on board with bringing back that committee.

  21. abusedbypenguins:

    It has reached the point that any creature that identifies with being conservative/republican IS unAmerican in their brain dead thought processes. If you move an old dogs’ food dish, it will learn to accept the new place. Conservatives/republicans would starve to death in their locked up tiny, little minds.

  22. D. C. Sessions:

    Because nothing says DANGER quite like have a name similar to some dude from the 14th century.

    Good point — and yet we still let people named Vlad in. And to go with that, one of my co-workers is named Igor.

  23. Eristae:

    A list of a few of the names we will have to be watching out for Under Schlafly’s system:

    Ted, Daniel, Gary, Alexander, Moses, John, Karl, Dean, Maria, Wayne, Bela, Ronald, Earle, William, Patrick, Paul, Joel, Jeffrey, Randy, Jimmy, Jack, Robert, Michel, Dennis, Harold, Amelia, Amy, Kristen, Irene, Gwendolyn, Leonard, Catherine, Raymond, Crl, Arthur, Herbert, Maury, Kenneth, Herb, Benjamin, Clifford, Dennis, Charlene, Timothy, Rodney, Christopher, Gary, Michael, Marybeth, Sean, Derrick, Doug, James, Richard, Thomas, Anthony, Hurbert, Danny, Steve, Marc, Harry, Gordon, Kathleen, Jerry, Dorothea, Theodore, Westley, Shirly, Billy, Glen.

    Luckily, both Phyllis and I seem to be safe! I guess that means we’re True Americans.

  24. jefferylanam:

    Attila is a fairly popular name in Hungary.

  25. bad Jim:

    My grandfather was named Adolf (after a long line of Swedish kings). Can’t have that.

  26. lofgren:

    $100 says she changes her name-based approach to immigration when she realizes where most of the Marys and Jesuses come from these days.

  27. marcus:

    @ 25 “My grandfather was named Adolf (after a long line of Swedish kings). Can’t have that.”
    Please have him report to the House Committee on Un-American Names, We will issue him a new one.

  28. equisetum:

    According to everyone’s favorite idiot Representative, Louis Gohmert, we’re too late: Gohmert: Muslim Brotherhood Members In Obama Administration Are Influencing U.S. Decisions
    Here.

  29. thecalmone:

    Jefferylanam – “Attila is a fairly popular name in Hungary.”

    Really? How cool is that?

  30. dingojack:

    So this Schlafly* character wants to bring back McCarthyism**, eh? She is aware that Ol’ ‘tail-gunner’ Joe shares a given name with the very un-American Joe Stalin, right?
    Dingo
    ——–
    * That doesn’t sound very ‘merikan to me, perhaps the DHS should put her on a watch-list
    ** isn’t that one of them thievin’, shifty, lazy mick names?

  31. democommie:

    Fuck McCarthyism, Philly; bring back the OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOld Testament. It will be entertaining to watch you, an uppity female, being stoned by the men of the village. What’s that? the rules don’t apply to YOU. Sorry, dearie, sauce for the goose and all that…

  32. slc1:

    Ah yes, Phillis Schlafly, who proudly proclaimed that a woman jogging in a jogging bra and shorts deserved to be raped.

  33. PatrickG:

    @ Eristae:

    … Patrick …

    Dagnabit!

  34. fifthdentist:

    I know, right? I named my cat Genghis. Next thing I know he’s invading China!

  35. sailor1031:

    Doctor: “Chevotarevich. Is that a russian name?”

    Nick: “No. It’s an american name”.

    I guess Schlafly, who by her submission to her husband and religion, as often proclaimed by her, must therefore be a muslima. Let’s get that word out fast!

  36. thumper1990:

    Lol! You could add it to that list of stupid questions you have to answer before setting foot on American soil (you know, the one asking if you’ve ever engaged in genocide?). “Do you share a first name with any know serial kiler or mass murderer?”.

  37. josephstricklin:

    And the list of killers with the middle name “Wayne” is fucking staggering…so lets lock up anyone with the that middle name.
    newsoftheweird.com/wayne.html
    I like this logic!!

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