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Apr 26 2013

Beck Gets Tough With Satan

Glenn Beck revealed his promised conspiracy theory about the Boston bombings on Monday. In short, that Saudi national that the FBI cleared was an Al Qaeda operative who recruited the Tsarnaev brothers and the government is covering up that fact to protect Saudi Arabia. And he delivered this hilarious big of false bravado on his show, casting himself as the brave truth teller taking on Satan himself:

Now remember, this is the guy who said that Alex Jones should not be taken seriously because he’s a conspiracy nut. You can’t make that up, folks. Uh, Glenn…a few questions:

If that guy was the one behind the bombing, why was he there when the bombs went off to get injured badly enough to spend the next several days in the hospital? I mean, this wasn’t a suicide bombing. If you arranged an attack like this and wanted to conceal your identity, wouldn’t you be as far away from the scene as possible?

If that guy was involved in the bombing, why would the FBI cover that up? Do you think the FBI doesn’t really want to prevent terrorist attacks? They certainly work very hard on doing so. Do you really think that these “principalities and powers” could get the entire FBI to pretend this guy is not a bad guy and no one there has blown the whistle on that? There isn’t a single person at the FBI that would stand up and speak the truth?

16 comments

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  1. 1
    jnorris

    Point one exactly. What kind of dolt (besides GB) would believe that?

  2. 2
    Trebuchet

    @1: Lots of them, unfortunately. In fact, I’d go so far as to say most of Beck’s listeners believe it while he himself may well know he’s just making shit up.

    Weren’t the conspiracy nuts also conflating this guy with the missing student from India whose body has (I think) now been found?

  3. 3
    Trebuchet

    I’m going to correct myself. That should have been “making $hit up.”

  4. 4
    alanb

    Ed: You can’t make that up, folks. Well, I can’t, but that’s only because I’m not delusional. Glen has that advantage over me.

  5. 5
    slc1

    If that guy was the one behind the bombing, why was he there when the bombs went off to get injured badly enough to spend the next several days in the hospital?

    That’s called local color.

  6. 6
    TCC

    If that guy was the one behind the bombing, why was he there when the bombs went off to get injured badly enough to spend the next several days in the hospital? I mean, this wasn’t a suicide bombing. If you arranged an attack like this and wanted to conceal your identity, wouldn’t you be as far away from the scene as possible?

    But Ed, you just don’t get it – that’s what they want you to think! No one would expect someone who was injured in the attack to be the perpetrator. It’s a perfect alibi! </tinfoil hat>

  7. 7
    d.c.wilson

    Obviously, the entire FBI is under the spell of Obama’s Jedi mind meld.

    “This is not the terrorist you’re looking for.”

  8. 8
    magistramarla

    I truly worry about the safety of that Saudi student.
    The wingnuts seem to be trying to whip their idiot followers into a frenzy.
    I worry about the safety of anyone from a Muslim country who lives or is visiting this country.
    It’s shameful that this is true in the US.

  9. 9
    Mobius

    Well, you see, it all has to do with the Gnomes of Zurich, who have long had control of the Mad Scientists for a Better Tomorrow, which has recently taken over the Orbital Mind Control Laser. With the power of the Laser they have influenced the FBI and silenced all dissenters.

    It’s simple and obvious.

  10. 10
    Ace of Sevens

    This guy has grounds for a defamation suit and probably massive damages, right? Glenn Beck has probably made it impossible for him to ever live normally in the US.

  11. 11
    raven

    This guy has grounds for a defamation suit and probably massive damages, right?

    He might.

    The laws are different for public figures, making it hard to win a libel suit.

    But this Saudi student isn’t a public figure. He is a victim of a terrorist bombing.

    And how does Glenn Beck know all he is babbling about. He doesn’t. He has no way of knowing so it is obvious he is just making stuff up. In a court of law, he is going to get smacked pretty hard.

  12. 12
    aaronbaker

    Learning that Beck is against him just improves my opinion of Satan.

  13. 13
    kermit.

    Hey Beck, I defy Yahweh!

    Supposedly the one guy standing between Satan and the championship belt.

    Yahweh – yeah, I’m talking to you!
    [makes obscene gesture]

  14. 14
    iangould

    Meabwhile, of course, Glenn Beck gets the most publicity he has since Fox booted him.

    If only there’d been some bigger, splashier more tragic event for him to exploit.

  15. 15
    mudpuddles

    Beck: “we have the documentation”

    This is classic conspiracy nut nonsense… they always “have the documentation”, or “have seen the evidence”, yet they never actually produce any of it. If this turd has the evidence and its so damning of the Obama administration, why keep it to himself? He has a big website he could put it on for all to see, and many similarly bloviating friends on Planet Fuckwit who could also publish it.

    Other classic lines of crapola from these comedians include “Its been declassified”, or “we’ve seen it hundreds of times”… all to make you think Beck & co have done great research and have amassed great evidence, even though its never ever released.

  16. 16
    dfarmer1584

    OM F***ing G. How can anyone still take this guy as anything more than a clown—and a very poor clown to boot. Every time I see the latest issue in Beck’s serial of absurdities, I instantly think of water skis and sharks; but, somehow he never jumps; he always survives to offer fresh face-palm whoppers. To me, he seems to have jumped it many, many times. It is confusing. He–and his ilk–is a cultural quirk I cannot understand.

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