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Apr 20 2013

Gohmert’s Latest Bit of Dumbassery

Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether Rep. Louis Gohmert is crazy and delusional or just incredibly dishonest. Ultimately, it doesn’t much matter. But wait until you see his latest baffling pronouncement, that we need to build a border fence because Muslim terrorists are being taught to act Hispanic:

The Tea Party favorite said he feared people entering the country illegally or posing as undocumented Hispanic immigrants could carry out “copycat things.” “We know Al Qaeda has camps on the Mexican border,” he said. “We have people that are trained to act Hispanic when they are radical Islamists.”

Evidence? Who needs evidence? This act has been working since the 1950s, when the Birchers were claiming that China was massing troops on the Mexican border to invade the United States. And then there’s this:

Gohmert criticized the bipartisan immigration bill unveiled by the Gang of 8 this week, arguing that it would give immigrants “a bit of amnesty.” “You have to understand that we want America to continue to be a haven for people that want to live free,” he added. “When you have the greatest liberties, you will draw people that want to destroy you.”

Uh, yeah. We want to be a haven for people who want to be free, so we have to keep people out of that haven. Makes as much sense as that idiotic “they want to destroy us for our freedom” bullshit at the end. You know what we really seem to be a haven for? Dumbfucks like Gohmert.

28 comments

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  1. 1
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    How does one “act Hispanic”?

  2. 2
    tommykey

    Yes, it possible that al-Qaida operatives might try to infiltrate by passing as Mexican, but how many of them do they have to devote to such an endeavor. They have had a dozen years since 9/11 to try and they likely would have pulled off an attack by now. Besides, as recent events have shown, they would prefer to radicalize Muslim-Americans who have more freedom to operate.

  3. 3
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @1. Rev. BigDumbChimp : take aroleacting as Evita peron in that musical maybe?

    Or play the part of one of the three amigos except not as one of the three amigos or something like that?

    PS. Isn’t Jennifier Lopez a Hispanic actor – that what their worried about?

  4. 4
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    Er, that’s : take a role acting as Evita Peron in that musical maybe?

    (Wasn’t Evita played by Madonna? So, er, a fence keeping her out? That it?)

  5. 5
    StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return!

    @1. Rev. BigDumbChimp : “How does one “act Hispanic”?”

    Or maybe, by pretending to be Larry Craig just after that Republican senator has just been arrested in that toilet cubicle.

    That was *his panic* after all, no!? ;-)

  6. 6
    Tabby Lavalamp

    When you have the greatest liberties…

    Citation please.

  7. 7
    Who Knows?

    Gohmert continued to say, that he has it on good authority Al Qaeda has bought up all the episodes of Speedy Gonzales as training aids.

  8. 8
    Modusoperandi

    It makes perfect sense.
    1. Train terrorists to act Hispanic.
    2. Send them on their mission.
    3. After exploding themselves, act Mexican, get caught by INS, and get sent home for free.
     
    It’s brilliant in its stupidity.

  9. 9
    Randomfactor

    And once the border fence is complete, al Qaeda will simply teach its infiltrators to act Canadian, eh? LOTS bigger project for de-Fence contractors.

  10. 10
    Argle Bargle

    We know Al Qaeda has camps on the Mexican border

    WE do? Or did WE pull that claim out of OUR asses?

  11. 11
    raven

    We know Al Qaeda has camps on the Mexican border.

    I doubt it.

    The drug cartels would probably use them for target practice and that would be the end.

    Even the Federales think hard before operating around the Mexican border.

  12. 12
    raven

    How does one “act Hispanic”?

    Dredging up my memory of saturday cartoons, they wear sombreros and sleep propped up on a cactus while a donkey stands around.

  13. 13
    frankb

    Wow, Al Qaeda camps on the Mexican border? That would last as long as a camp fire in a fireworks store.

  14. 14
    democommie

    “because Muslim terrorists are being taught to act Hispanic:”

    Would this inlclude the several hundred thousand people who ARE latino/hispanic muslims?

  15. 15
    naturalcynic

    They’re probably taking acting lessons from Bill Dana.

  16. 16
    Sastra

    The obvious antidote for “people that are trained to act Hispanic when they are radical Islamists” is paying a lot of real Hispanics to figure out if they are only acting. Or maybe we should employ some radical Islamists to catch the cheats. I won’t even try speculating beyond that …

  17. 17
    janiceintoronto

    @1 Rev. BigDumbChimp

    “How does one “act Hispanic”?”

    It’s really sneaky. They act just like everyone else. That’s the danger!!11!!

  18. 18
    Don Quijote

    Beware, Islamic mariachi bands seen crossing the border.

  19. 19
    fifthdentist

    The bad news is, this is true. The good news: They’re learning to act Hispanic by watching Speedy Gonzales cartoons. Just look for the dark-skinned people zipping around yelling “Arriba! Andale!”

  20. 20
    organon

    #14. That is hilarious. You would think the obvios…but then, the conservative mind would go into meltdown via such facts…if not for that safety mechanism known as rationalizations.

  21. 21
    organon

    Most of these people shouldn’t even have an audience. Reason demands a certain degree of credibility, accuracy, and some at least semi-valid methodology of arriving at facts. And yet…

  22. 22
    fifthdentist

    He thinks hot dogs contain actual dogs.
    In high school, he was voted most likely to be mistaken for a rock.
    He spends hours wondering how 12 and “a dozen” can be the same thing.

    He is … the most dumbest man in the world.

  23. 23
    imthegenieicandoanything

    I never thought I’d be able to say this, especially because the last ten years had seemed to prove that stupidity and insanity on the ‘Mer’kin “conservative” had no limits, but Gohmert can now be chosen as America’s contestant in the international competition to find the most stupid person on the planet earth.
    I think he’s a shoe-in, frankly – as dumb as anyone in written history.

    And yet being even this dumb and having not the least ability to even have a sense of shame doesn’t make him the worst “Republican” politician. Not by a very long shot. That would be Steve King, a man far less admirable than anyone, ever.

  24. 24
    Doug Little

    Why the fuck would you train people to act Hispanic, you would just recruit Hispanics and train them in one of the Al Qaeda camps on the border. This guy doesn’t think too deeply does he?

  25. 25
    Chiroptera

    Remember, kids, there is a contiguous, compact geographical area in which over 70% of the voters decided that this was the best person to represent them in Congress.

    In 2013.

    After years of proving himself to be a fool.

  26. 26
    Marcus Ranum

    it’s hard to tell whether Rep. Louis Gohmert is crazy and delusional or just incredibly dishonest. Ultimately, it doesn’t much matter.

    No, it matters a lot. Because neurologically impaired people aren’t that way by choice. His assholishness is probably a “lifestyle choice.”

  27. 27
    caseloweraz

    “Pssst, Abdullah—we’re under surveillance. Act hispanic!”

  28. 28
    baal

    ““We have people that are trained to act Hispanic when they are radical Islamists.”

    Who exactly would be fooled?* And if you’re trying to get in the U.S. illegally, I would use the student visa or H1B route.

    *I’m being facetious, Jan Brewer’s headless bodies in the AZ desert wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Obviously.

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