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Apr 15 2013

Another Amazing Accomplishment for Cindy Jacobs’ Prayers

It seems that there is no end to what Cindy Jacobs’ prayers can accomplish. They can create a bottomless spaghetti bowl, they can stop hurricanes and earthquakes, they can magically fix David Barton’s balding tires and they can even shut down terror cells. The FBI should get on the phone immediately (and never mind the fact that there isn’t a shred of evidence for any of this).

11 comments

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  1. 1
    blf

    bottomless spaghetti bowl

    What is the point of that? No matter how much pasta you cook, it disappears as soon as you ladle it into the bowel. Does she have something against the FSM ?

  2. 2
    grumpyoldfart

    She’s in it for the money, but what are her ratbag parishioners getting out of it?

    Why do they bother to front up at the service each week?

  3. 3
    richardelguru

    grumpy

    I think you just came up with a pretty-good definition of religion!

  4. 4
    hunter

    The scary part of this is that she may actually believe it. For some reason, that bothers me more than someone like Tony Perkins, who’s just an unabashed con man.

  5. 5
    doublereed

    How could you possibly tell the difference between whether she truly believes it or she’s just a con man.

    …con woman?

  6. 6
    d.c.wilson

    So, her prayers can fix Barton’s tires but not the BS in his books?

  7. 7
    Gregory in Seattle

    @hunter #4 – It is said that the most dangerous conman is the one who truly believes that it is not a con.

  8. 8
    Moggie

    grumpyoldfart:

    Why do they bother to front up at the service each week?

    Free pasta?

  9. 9
    keithb

    “There is always a band, kid.”

  10. 10
    drl2

    No matter how much pasta you cook, it disappears as soon as you ladle it into the bowel.

    I, uh, kind of think you’re better off introducing it at an earlier point along the digestive tract…

  11. 11
    kermit.

    My aunt once served a never-ending bowl potato salad at the church picnic. People would grab the serving spoon, look into the bowl, then meet my aunt’s eyes while cautiously making small talk for a minute, while moving the spoon about. They would then move on to the next dish, never actually dumping any on their plate.
    .
    A miracle!

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