Beck Produces the Mother of All Conspiracy Theories

This is a hilarious video clip of Glenn Beck at his famous blackboard, saying that America will soon be ruled by a combination of China and Islam. Oh, and Russia. And the Nazis. And America will become a third-world country. And it’s all about the Common Core education standards.

25 comments on this post.
  1. janiceintoronto:

    Oh poop. The pulled the video.

    I was so looking forward to being educated by Mr. Beck.

    I was also hoping to find out exactly what drugs he’s taking and in what combinations to create such wisdom.

    Nuts.

  2. leftwingfox:

    IT’S IN REVELATIONS PEOPLE!!!

  3. ThorGoLucky:

    Reading, writin’, ‘rithmetic, COMMUNIST NAZIS!

  4. Marcus Ranum:

    Take all the buzzwords, shake ‘em up in a cocktail, and you get a conspiracy!

  5. tsig:

    The Chinks and Izlamz is cumin tu git uz in Russian subs wearing swatikas.

  6. raven:

    Where do the gays, atheists, and Space Reptiles fit in?

    If you are going to abandon reality, might as well do it all the way.

    BTW, last night I read an interesting statistic. 5% of the US population believes in shapeshifting UFO reptilian aliens. A lot of those are probably Glenn Beck fans.

  7. Francisco Bacopa:

    In terms of wealth and income distribution the US is already beginning to look like a third world country.

  8. oranje:

    They went after a bunch of RWW’s videos, so I’m not surprised this video got pulled. It’s like he doesn’t want people actually seeing what he says while he pressures cable companies to carry his channel.

  9. irenedelse, burned again (but still alive):

    Oh noes! Space Nazi Reptilians are coming for your kids! Run!

    Darn, raven beat me to it :-)

  10. holytape:

    What about cats and dogs? Will they be living together? Will it be total chaos?

  11. azportsider:

    “…Shapeshifting UFO reptilian aliens,” raven? I thought Beck was one!

  12. Randomfactor:

    Public school teachers in MY area are excitedly awaiting Common Core, because it specifically mentions using the Bible in class, and they think they can use it to spread the Gospel to the kids. So please, Mr. Beck, get them Bible-thumpers to oppose the standards.

  13. janiceintoronto:

    #7

    “In terms of wealth and income distribution the US is already beginning to look(ing) like a third world country.”

    I think that’s closer to the truth.

  14. ambulocetacean:

    If the Chinese government really is in league with Big Islam, that will come as quite a surprise to the Uighurs, who last time I looked were having their heads lopped off and being forced to keep pigs in their mosques.

  15. bmiller:

    Well…I believe that there is a “conspiracy*” to turn the U.S.into a Third World country. But it is being directed by the kinds of white upper class businessmen that Beck’s politics loves.

    * No, there is no cabal, but the logic of the market and political economy as currently structured makes it inevitable

  16. Trebuchet:

    So let me see if I’ve got this straight:

    Federal Government = Bad
    Big Corporations = Not quite as bad, but still bad.
    DMCA, a Federal law protecting obscene profits of big corporations = nothing but good!

  17. peterh:

    Does anyone other than the studio accountant take Beck seriously?

  18. ambulocetacean:

    DMCA, a Federal law protecting obscene profits of big corporations = nothing but good!

    Why do you oppose copyright laws?

  19. Trebuchet:

    In case #18 is serious, I think copyright laws are a necessary evil. Abuse of copyright laws is an unnecessary evil. And claims of the monetary losses due to copyright violations are ridiculously overblown.

    Just for the grins, here’s some fun reading on the subject:
    http://www.popehat.com/tag/prenda-law/

  20. ambulocetacean:

    In case #18 is serious

    Are you shitting me?

  21. doublereed:

    WHAT ABOUT THE LIZARD PEOPLE???!!

  22. Draken:

    @11:

    “Shapeshifting UFO reptilian aliens,” raven? I thought Beck was one!

    Yes, that’s why they are Glenn Beck fans, as raven put it:

    5% of the US population believes in shapeshifting UFO reptilian aliens. A lot of those are probably Glenn Beck fans.

  23. zippythepinhead:

    Colbert did a hilarious bit that started out about gun control but quickly devolved into the axiom that any liberal policy eventually leads to bestiality. Beck uses similar logic, that all government leads to nazism.

    http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/425046/april-03-2013/gun-control—barn-orgies

  24. slavdude:

    @23:

    It’s like Glenn Beck is the conservative Stephen Colbert … or something. Only not funny.

  25. some bastard on the net:

    raven #6

    BTW, last night I read an interesting statistic. 5% of the US population believes in shapeshifting UFO reptilian aliens. A lot of those are probably Glenn Beck fans.

    You fools! Don’t you see it!? America is clearly under attack by The Founders of the Dominion! That explains how our enemies are simultaneously gay, atheist, muslim, female, commie, nazi , space-lizardmethings!!

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