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Apr 02 2013

Most Offensive Things Said About Same-Sex Marriage

Media Matters has a list of the 30 most offensive things said about same-sex marriage and it includes some real doozies. Interestingly, one of the first entries is from Bill O’Reilly, who recently said he was fine with marriage equality and that the pro-equality side had the better argument. He apparently didn’t think so in 2005:

Fox Host Bill O’Reilly: Marriage Equality Could Lead To Goat, Duck, Dolphin, Turtle Marriage. In March 2005, O’Reilly Factor host Bill O’Reilly predicted on his now-defunct radio show that in ten years, “this is gonna be a totally different country than it is right now. Laws that you think are in stone — they’re gonna evaporate, man. You’ll be able to marry a goat — you mark my words!”

Coincidentally, goat goes really well with falafel. And I love this one:

Washington Times’ Jeffrey Kuhner On Marriage Equality: “It Is Inherently A Socially Barren Act. A Homosexual Society Is A Childless One – Doomed To Extinction.” Kuhner wrote in his February 24, 2011, Times column that the “homosexual rights movement is on the verge of destroying marriage. If successful, it will permanently alter society. And President Obama is playing a pivotal role in this attack on traditional America.” Kuhner went on to claim that the “homosexual lifestyle signifies the triumph of neo-pagan Epicureanism. By its very nature, homosexuality cannot fulfill the primary function of sex: procreation and the reproduction of the human race. It is inherently a socially barren act. A homosexual society is a childless one – doomed to extinction.”

Hearing someone who works for the Moonies, who perform mass group weddings of people who have never even met one another, blame gay people for destroying marriage dangerously exceeds the FDA’s recommended daily allowance of irony. And where on earth does he get the idea that if we allow gay marriage, everyone is going to suddenly become gay? Seriously, it takes effort to be that much of an idiot. Speaking of the extraordinary power of The Gay:

Radio Host Michael Savage Linked Marriage Equality To The 2008 Stock Market Collapse. During his October 1, 2008, radio program, Michael Savage said: “[Y]ou may say, ‘Why should we care about homosexuals trying to destroy families through the mock marriage that they perform in order to mock God, the church, the family, children, the fetus, the DNA of the human species? Why should we care about it while we have a financial meltdown?’ Because the spiritual side of the downturn on Wall Street is directly related to the moral downturn in the United States of America.” Savage added: “[T]he government has no right to force people to accept homosexual marriage. It is why the West is dying. It is why we’re melting down as a nation. It is why there is no — why we have almost negative childbirth rate except amongst illegal aliens.

Ah yes, the “spiritual side” of the stock market. Funny, the stock market has been booming for the last couple years, just as public opinion has turned in favor of same-sex marriage and several states have legalized it. What happened to that “spiritual side” of the stock market then?

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  1. 1
    Phillip IV

    the mock marriage that they perform in order to mock God, the church, the family, children, the fetus, the DNA of the human species

    Emphasis mine, because that’s really a new one to me. A perfect nexus of things that outrage wingnuts: gays really only want to marry in order to insult the unborn. That’s really so far out there, it defies the very concept of coherence.

  2. 2
    coragyps

    “the mock marriage that they perform in order to mock …….. the fetus”

    Huh?
    That’s a little like reading The Ticket That Exploded.

  3. 3
    Moggie

    The Netherlands has had same-sex marriage for more than ten years, and doesn’t appear to be any closer to legalising human/goat marriage. In fact, I’d be surprised if even one person or goat is currently lobbying their parliament to legalise it. Is Bill suggesting that goat-love is that much more prevalent in America than in the Netherlands? How does he know that?

  4. 4
    Zinc Avenger (Sarcasm Tags 3.0 Compliant)

    The spiritual side of the stock market? Isn’t that just worship of Mammon?

  5. 5
    naturalcynic

    By its very nature, homosexuality cannot fulfill the primary function of sex: procreation and the reproduction of the human race Another irony. The view of sex as primarily procreative reduces we humans to the level of animals. There are a number of reasons for sex amongst us, only one is for reproduction and for most of us most of the time, producing a little one is not the reason.

  6. 6
    Hayden

    Slightly off topic, only because I couldn’t find a way to contact Ed directly.

    The Iona Institute is threatening to sue a couple student news papers, because the papers ran stories about the Iona Institute’s opposition to marriage equality.

    http://www.collegetribune.ie/index.php/2013/04/trinity-news-falls-foul-of-quinn/

  7. 7
    cptdoom

    With all these slippery slope arguments, I have to ask, what is stopping polygamy, child brides, incest or beastiality now? Certainly it cannot be the gender rules of marriage, because all those “relationships” could be between males and females.

  8. 8
    frog

    cptdoom: Child brides do exist, depending on one’s definition of the term. In some states a youngish teenager can get married with parental permission. Incest also depends on which state is doing the ruling–some states forbid first cousins from marrying, where others permit it.

    So right there the slippery slope argument reverses. Allowing same-sex marriage isn’t the first stone to slide!

  9. 9
    left0ver1under

    WND Reporter Jerome Corsi: If Marriage Equality Is Legalized, “Why Not Pedophilia?”

    In a completely unrelated matter, a Florida Republican Party committeeman has been arrested for possessing and transmitting child pornography.

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/02/florida-republican-committeeman-arrested-for-child-porn/

    Lane Rees, a former Walton County Commissioner, is married (i.e. he’s heterosexual) to Brenda Rees, Walton County Florida’’s elected state committeewoman.

    Rees was also the Florida republican’s “man of the year” in 2011 for his anti-gay marriage stance.

  10. 10
    slc1

    Illinois Rethuglican Senator Mark Kirk comes out in favor of recognizing same sex marriage. He joins Rob Portman and, possible Lisa Murkowski (who is “evolving” on the issue).

    http://news.wsiu.org/post/il-gop-senator-favors-marriage-equality

  11. 11
    laurentweppe

    Marriage Equality Could Lead To Goat, Duck, Dolphin, Turtle Marriage.

    Duck Sex!
    Woo-Oo

  12. 12
    baal

    ” the DNA of the human species”

    How do you mock DNA? It’s not like DNA does anything on its own. Might as well mock rocks or fat trimmings for the all difference there’d be.

  13. 13
    suttkus

    I’m getting very worried. If gay marriage needs to be kept illegal because it doesn’t produce children, and thus might cause the human race to go extinct, am I contributing to the extinction of the human race? I am not married, am not dating, don’t even have much of a social life. I’m not producing any children! Being single and uninvolved should be as illegal as gay marriage, clearly. I await to hear how the wingnut committee extraordinaire is planning to fix this. Will I be forced to marry some reluctant single woman? If we decide we don’t like each other, will we be forced to breed anyway? The existence of the human race is at stake!

  14. 14
    danielrutter

    I think the “if we treat the homos like human beings then everybody will become gay” argument often comes from people who are gay, but, critically, don’t know it. This strange hypothesis explains a lot of the more bizarre anti-gay statements:
    http://www.howtospotapsychopath.com/2011/09/14/another-piece-of-the-homophobia-puzzle/

  15. 15
    Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened

    Bloody hell, that last one from Savage is just a list of Right-wing buzzwords and dogwhistles with a healthy dose of illogic, just for good measure. He even managed to shoe-horn Illegal Immigrants in there!

  16. 16
    fifthdentist

    There are, what, nearly seven billion people on this spinning blue marble?
    And they’re worried about a couple hundred thousand dudes marrying other dudes?
    Well, the maths are not their strong suit.*

    * Along with facts, reason, causation, etc.

  17. 17
    uncephalized

    The real irony to me is that it’s the non-breeders who are actually helping humanity survive–by not contributing to the overshoot of global carrying capacity, and helping us avoid the otherwise-inevitable crash. It’s the fundies who pump out 5+ kids per parent who are contributing to our collective doom.

  1. 18
    A list of things gay marriage leads to…. | Futile Democracy

    [...] The 2008 Financial crash. Here. [...]

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