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Mikey Gets Email. Best One Yet?

Mikey Weinstein often forwards me his hate mail and it’s usually good for a laugh. This one may be my favorite one yet. It seems that Mikey himself is crucifying Christ all over again, as those Jews are wont to do. Or something. Enjoy this:

> From: [email protected]
> Subject: At Easter, Think of Your Family For Once
> Date: March 29, 2013 3:24:37 PM MDT
> To: Information Weinstein
>
> Dear Mr. Weinstein,
> Every Easter for the past few years a member of our ladies church group is asked to contact you. She has demanded that you cease and desist from further crucifying our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus. And every year you reject the demand. You are a stiff necked jew (Exodus 32:9). And you just keep on crucifying The Christ. You crucify Him by your public denials. You deny, deny, deny. You deny that America is and always has been founded only as a Christian Nation. You deny that our American military is designed to further the Gospel of the Lord. For sake of all the world. You deny that our soldiers can be offerred The Gift of salvation buy their military leaders. You deny that the arabs in afghanistan Iran, Iraq and Kuwait shall be presented with The Word of Christ. With tender love by our Christian soldiers. We know your a jew. In America even jews, atheists and muslems are tolerated to be citizens. But not if they do not allow American Christians the fair chance to save them. From their false faiths. From an eternity in Hell with satan. A fair chance is all we ask you, Mickey and MRRF. Its right there in the constitution. You deny that too. You say your a lawyer so you should know this. Noone stops our soldiers from being saved more than you. So they’re blood is on your hands. We have told you this. You don’t care. Your in league with satan and will suffer for that in Hell for eternity. It is too late for you. You are a cowardly detestable sorcerer. Your second death is assured. (Revelations 21:8). Jesus The Christ commands you to hell. But you have a wife and children. We have all their pictures. And we pray on them for their salvation. That it is not too late for them. We ask you to think of your family. In order to stop you from fighting the Gospels spread in our military. And to the arabs in Arabia. And even the godless in Korea. Mickey fights and denies Christ to our troops. satan smiles. Jesus bleeds. At least see your family saved from your fate in the Lake of Fire. You are a deceiver and slave to satan (Revelations 20:10).

Lots of misspelled words, randomly capitalized and uncapitalized words, tons of crazy. Love it.

Comments

  1. says

    You deny that the arabs in afghanistan Iran, Iraq and Kuwait shall be presented with The Word of Christ. With tender love by our Christian soldiers.

    Priceless!

  2. Michael Heath says

    Ed concludes:

    “I love him,” gushed P-Rock. “He’s a brave motherf–ker, but in the end he’s going to come out fine . . . He’s been cornered as a racist, and that’s not true. Tim’s our guy.”

    And of course, overt bigotry towards Jewish people. However the basic core arguments here are essentially the ones I was raised to believe were true, including the idea that when people reject Christianity they’re currently crucifying Jesus. Another being that disagreeing with a Christian like this guy, especially if you present an argument they can’t coherently refute, is proof you’re in league with Satan (or that Satan has blinded you from the Truth).

  3. Michael Heath says

    Copy, Paste fail . . . The above quote from Ed should have instead been:

    Lots of misspelled words, randomly capitalized and uncapitalized words, tons of crazy. Love it.

    Which I then followed by:

    And of course, overt bigotry towards Jewish people. However the basic core arguments here are essentially the ones I was raised to believe were true, including the idea that when people reject Christianity they’re currently crucifying Jesus. Another being that disagreeing with a Christian like this guy, especially if you present an argument they can’t coherently refute, is proof you’re in league with Satan (or that Satan has blinded you from the Truth).

  4. says

    You deny that the arabs in afghanistan Iran, Iraq and Kuwait shall be presented with The Word of Christ. With tender love by our Christian soldiers.

    I don’t know what’s funnier here, the tender love part or the fact that he doesn’t know the difference between Arab and Muslim.

  5. raven says

    She has demanded that you cease and desist from further crucifying our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus.

    According to xian mythology, jesus is god. The all powerful creator of everything.

    Why can’t jesus/god stop people from pounding nails into him? Even I could do that most of the time. If nothing else, just call 911. Crucifying people without their consent is classed as assault and murder.

    If jesus doesn’t have a cell phone and know how to use it, why call him god? Even children can do this.

    Xians claim jesus is all powerful. And act like he doesn’t really exist and can’t do anything without human help.

  6. Phillip IV says

    cease and desist from further crucifying our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus

    Yeah, really. It was funny the first time around, but that kind of practical joke just gets old quickly.

    Seriously, though, I think this one almost doesn’t qualify as hate-mail…it’s more like narrowminded-befuddlement-mail.

  7. jacobfromlost says

    “You are a cowardly detestable sorcerer.”

    How do you become one of those? I would like to sign up. I don’t mind being cowardly or detestable as long as I get magical powers.

  8. DaveL says

    I must insist that the author of this letter cease and desist from further eating Prometheus’ liver.

  9. tynk says

    You are a cowardly detestable sorcerer.

    Quick! Someone get me a duck and a very large scale! I can figure out the truth!

  10. Moggie says

    You are a cowardly detestable sorcerer.

    Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!

    Protip: if you use the words “cease and desist”, and you’re not a member of the legal profession, you just sound foolish – particularly when the person you’re addressing is an attorney.

  11. zippythepinhead says

    “In America even jews, atheists and muslems are tolerated to be citizens.”

    Wow … even … atheists?!

  12. shouldbeworking says

    In America even jews, atheists and muslems are tolerated to be citizens.”

    Wow … even … atheists?!

    But do they get any rights?

  13. Doug Little says

    Jesus The Christ commands you to hell.

    But what ever happened to…

    “Jesus loves me—this I know,
    For the Bible tells me so;”

  14. Doug Little says

    You deny that the arabs in afghanistan Iran, Iraq and Kuwait shall be presented with The Word of Christ. With tender love by our Christian soldiers.

    Holy passive aggressiveness Batman! Nothing says tender love quite like a Hellfire missile from on high.

  15. Sastra says

    Your second death is assured. (Revelations 21:8). Jesus The Christ commands you to hell. But you have a wife and children. We have all their pictures. And we pray on them for their salvation. That it is not too late for them. We ask you to think of your family.

    Gee, this sounds a little threatening. I sure hope they know where God ends and they begin … and don’t think it’s “humble” to obscure this fine distinction.

  16. bbgunn says

    You deny that the arabs in afghanistan Iran, Iraq and Kuwait shall be presented with The Word of Christ. With tender love by our Christian soldiers.

    Gripping their love machines firmly but tenderly, ready to dispense their love, 5.56 mm at a time.

  17. Moggie says

    Mikey Weinstein: A Motherfucking Sorcerer.

    Probably less hit points than a fighter, if I recall my 1st Ed.

  18. corporal klinger says

    In moments like this, I just can’t help the nostalgia; imagine what the Phythons could have done with this.
    Do these people really not realize how infinitely ridiculous they sound in the 21st century, speaking to informed, educated people?
    Also, grammar is not their strength either, isn’t it?

    (As an non natural english speaker I shoudn’t judge other people’s grammar skills, but still….)

  19. rikitiki says

    Moggie – yes, definitely less hit-points than a fighter, cleric (D&D, that is, NOT xian or muslim or…) or thief.
    BUT, as a “Motherfucking Sorcerer”, he would have familiars…and those could be bad-ass and give him more power(s). Fireball .vs M60-machine gun? Call lightning .vs Abrams tank? I don’t know the odds on those, but it’d sure be fun to watch!

  20. Gvlgeologist, FCD says

    Just for the hilarity of it:

    “our ladies church group”, “jew”, “For sake of all the world.”, “offerred”, “The Gift of salvation buy their military leaders.”, “arabs”, “afghanistan Iran” (twofer), ” With tender love by our Christian soldiers.”, “your a jew”, “muslems”, “From their false faiths.”, “From an eternity in Hell with satan.” (another twofer), “Its right there”, “your a lawyer”, “they’re blood”, “Your in league”, “satan” (several times), “the Gospels spread”, “And to the arabs in Arabia. And even the godless in Korea.”

    I will let him/her have a few of the sentence fragments as stylistic elements. Otherwise, good grief, this is pathetic. And of course, this is not to mention all of the logical errors, bigotry, and superstitious nonsense. How can a person like this function in a modern technological society? I’m almost willing to believe that this is an April Fool’s joke.

  21. says

    “You deny that the arabs in afghanistan Iran, Iraq and Kuwait shall be presented with The Word of Christ. With tender love by our Christian soldiers.”

    I could be wrong but I’d bet that any arabs in Afghanistan keep a pretty low profile and work on their pashtun.

  22. baal says

    “But you have a wife and children. We have all their pictures. And we pray on them for their salvation.”

    This + the inherent anti-antisemitism is a little bit scary. Then again, the intimidation factor is somewhat offset by the language fail and mystical thinking. The readability, however, goes up if you substitute ‘smurf’ for the capitalized words.

    Every smurf for the past few years a member of our ladies church group is asked to contact you. She has demanded that you cease and desist from further crucifying our smurf and smurf smurf smurf. And every year you reject the demand. You are a stiff necked jew (smurf 32:9). And you just keep on crucifying smurf smurf. You crucify smurf by your public denials.

  23. gardengnome says

    But you have a wife and children. We have all their pictures.

    Tender veiled threat? Why else do these people so often bring his family into it?

  24. baal says

    @#27 – ” How can a person like this function in a modern technological society? ”

    My wife’s primary (though shared) admin assistant is much like this women were you to listen to her talk on personal matters. The assistant is only somewhat competent at her job and while she and her husband deride folks who take welfare of any sort, he recently naturalized to get social security disability (which he really needs). The assistant is otherwise inoffensive in dealing with anyone in the office including various minority groups. I think of folks like this as highly mentally fractured and burdened with substantial cognitive dissonance. They get by but simply not thinking, the react all the time and play out mini-scripts of behaviour when society demands it. It’s more than a little sad but I don’t think we have a reasonable mechanism for teaching them thinking skills and having them clean up their inherent mental conflicts.

  25. iangould says

    Since the American military is an expressly Christian organization I assume non-Christians will be exempt from any future draft?

  26. raven says

    “You deny that the arabs in afghanistan Iran, Iraq and Kuwait shall be presented with The Word of Christ. With tender love by our Christian soldiers.”

    Like almost all fundie death cult xians, these loons are stupid.

    One of the big casualties in the middle east conflicts, especially Iraq has been…their xians.

    IIRC, before the war Iraq had around 5% xians. This is probably the oldest xian group in the world. Some of them still spoke Aramaic, the language of jesus.

    Fear of jihad driving Christians from Iraq – USATODAY.com
    usatoday30. usatoday.com/…/ 2010-11-12-iraqchristians12_ST_N.htm

    Nov 11, 2010 – The Catholic Church in Iraq says there are 1.5 million Christians in Iraq, 1 million fewer than 2003. Many Christians have fled Iraq for Syria, …

    It is estimated that around half of all Iraqi xians have either fled the country or been killed. The ones still left face a lot more persecution than they did under Saddam Hussein.

    We all know what fundies mean by xian love. It often ends up with large piles of dead bodies. The invasion of Iraq by those loving US xian soldiers was a disaster for the xian minority.

  27. mildlymagnificent says

    Those were the days. The great shame of the internet is that we can no longer read this kind of thing, random capitalisation and all, handwritten in the formerly obligatory green ink.

    (Though I do think this writer missed many opportunities for underlining and exc!amation marks which would not have slipped past in a handwritten missive.)

  28. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    In America even jews, atheists and muslems are tolerated to be citizens. But not if they do not allow American Christians the fair chance to save them. From their false faiths. From an eternity in Hell with satan. A fair chance is all we ask you, Mickey and MRRF. Its right there in the constitution.

    right there in the constitution

  29. says

    “You deny that the arabs in afghanistan Iran, Iraq and Kuwait shall be presented with The Word of Christ. With tender love by our Christian soldiers.”

    Is that what the Elvis song is about, the one that includes the line “A hunka hunka burning love”?

  30. Hercules Grytpype-Thynne says

    @Rev. BigDumbChimp #35:

    But not if they do not allow American Christians the fair chance to save them. From their false faiths. From an eternity in Hell with satan. A fair chance is all we ask you, Mickey and MRRF. Its right there in the constitution.

    right there in the constitution

    That’s what they think the phrase “free exercise of religion” means.

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