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Apr 02 2013

Beck Invents New Meta-Conspiracy Theory

Glenn Beck presented a whole new conspiracy theory, or a meta-conspiracy because it involves pretty much everyone. It’s all about “System X,” which he vaguely defines as a conspiracy between big business and the government. It has something to do with monitoring school children with emotional sensors, or something. But remember, Beck dismisses Alex Jones as a conspiracy theorist.

26 comments

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  1. 1
    aldenutter

    Glenn’s never meta-conspiracy he wouldn’t repeat.

  2. 2
    Reginald Selkirk

    Oh yes, big business is most certainly involved with System X.
    IBM System x® x86 servers support Microsoft® Windows®, Linux® and virtualization.

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Reginald Selkirk

    Follow-up on comment #2: I have no idea why Beck would specifically name GE rather than IBM. Probably it has something to do with the Illuminati.

  5. 5
    azportsider

    Hmmm…my Mac runs OS X. Should I be conspiring with someone?

  6. 6
    dingojack

    Maybe Mr Bek didn’t ‘invent’ this latest ‘Rube Goldberg’ conspiracy theory – it just kinda meta-stasized.
    ;) Dingo

  7. 7
    Bronze Dog

    Why do they need to monitor kids’ emotions? Isn’t that what following their Facebook and Twitter pages is for, anyway?

  8. 8
    Taz

    Fools! System X is red herring to prevent you from noticing the real conspiracy – Plan 9!

  9. 9
    baal

    I love the elbow patches and not-tucked in shirt. That + chalk dust and I almost think I’m learning from an actual teacher.

  10. 10
    Reginald Selkirk

    And the elbow patches have a number on them – more evidence of Plan 9!

  11. 11
    dingojack

    Taz – Where do you think the plan came from in the first place?

    I’d watch out for them evul Martians and their ‘war on Santy Claus!

    Dingo

  12. 12
    Phillip IV

    The only thing that Beck’s “System X” has in common with Plan 9 is that he’s really in dire need of some Alien guy walking up to him and shouting: “You see? You see? Your stupid mind! You’re stupid! Stupid!!”.

    And the only interest Big Business could have in measuring the emotions of schoolkids is for developing drugs to get rid of the few that remain, as well.

  13. 13
    doublereed

    Next he’ll be like “EVEN I’M PART OF THE CONSPIRACY OH MY GOD”

  14. 14
    Trebuchet

    Follow-up on comment #2: I have no idea why Beck would specifically name GE rather than IBM. Probably it has something to do with the Illuminati.

    Probably more to do with the fact the GE, until very recently, owned NBC and was thus the employer of Rachel Maddow and former employer of Keith Olbermann.

  15. 15
    Scr... Archivist

    Does System X have anything to do with Barry Soetoro’s real father, Malcolm?

  16. 16
    Avo, also nigelTheBold

    He started his analysis off so well, too. If he just would’ve stopped at, “Government and big business are in bed together…” everything would’ve been spot-on.

    But I guess that wouldn’t've allowed him to show off his really cool spinny chalkboard.

  17. 17
    Sastra

    That was weird. I have a friend who is both communist and into conspiracy theories and her rants about an evil cabal between government and corporations sounds a lot like this.

  18. 18
    Avo, also nigelTheBold

    Who’s Barry Soetoro?

    Also, I think Mr. McDowell prefers to name his children Finnian and Seamus and suchlike.

  19. 19
    sylwyn

    Yeah, I was going to apologetically mention the shirt tails, too. If he was going for the academic look, I think he may have missed it. Homespun academic, maybe.

    As for government and big business in bed together, when he said that I immediately thought of the Oil company lobbyists sleeping with the Department of the Interior employees. It’s probably unnecessary, and I’m certainly restating the obvious, but he has a few accurate detail (there are unethical connections between people in ‘big business’ and the government, ‘big business’ needs an educated work force) and has leapt to some heavy duty paranoia. Kind of misses details like ‘big business’ and the government are not monolithic entities and just aren’t that well coordinated.

  20. 20
    naturalcynic

    Uh, nigel@18, they invented the googlemachine for that.

  21. 21
    laurentweppe

    Hmmm…my Mac runs OS X. Should I be conspiring with someone?

    You’re a little late: the plan to take over the world with shiny gadgets us pretty much completed.

  22. 22
    Avo, also nigelTheBold

    Uh, nigel@18, they invented the googlemachine for that.

    Uhm, yeah. I know. And I knew who it was before I wrote what I wrote. I also know it’s only fools, idiot conspiracy theorists, and/or comedians who call him that. (I’m assuming comedian in this instance.)

  23. 23
    iangould

    @15

    Malcolm X
    System X
    OSX
    Planet X
    Star Trek X
    X-Men
    It’s all connected.

  24. 24
    Taz

    And women have another X chromosome where they should have a Y. That means something!

  25. 25
    Stacy

    And women have another X chromosome where they should have a Y. That means something!

    Note to self: Taz is on to us. Alert The FemiilluminastazitriX.

  26. 26
    Woof

    And now The Blaze has DMCAed the video.

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