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Apr 01 2013

Dumbass Quote of the Day

In case you needed another reason to point and laugh at Alex Jones, I present to you this quote from an article at Info Wars. Did you know that President Obama is now the “global head of Al-Qaeda”? I didn’t either. But Alex Jones does.

President Barack Obama is now the global head of Al-Qaeda – bankrolling, arming and equipping terrorists around the world in order to achieve his administration’s geopolitical objectives – while simultaneously invoking the threat of terrorists domestically to destroy the bill of rights.

Since it has now been established that those merely suspected of engaging in terrorism, including US citizens, are subject to targeted drone strikes, under the terms of his own prosecution of the fake war on terror, Obama must immediately order a drone strike on the White House because the facts documented below incontrovertibly demonstrate that it represents the headquarters of Al-Qaeda operations worldwide.

Wait, wasn’t the government supposedly going to kill Alex Jones like 813 times now for revealing the Truthtm?

24 comments

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  1. 1
    Moggie

    Since Obama ordered the hit on bin Laden, he’s now head of Al-Qaeda. That’s how it works.

  2. 2
    The Lorax

    Since when was the War on Terror fake?

    .. oh.

    Perhaps more accurately, since when has a wingnut ever mentioned it was fake?

  3. 3
    Strewth

    Moggie – There can be only one?

  4. 4
    Trebuchet

    @Moggie: It’s obviously like the Harry Potter universe, where you become master of the Elder Wand by killing the previous master!

  5. 5
    David Pearce

    The irony burns even more when you consider that the White House really did fund Al Qaeda – when Ronald Reagan was president funding bin Laden against the Russians.

  6. 6
    anubisprime

    President Barack Obama is now the global head of Al-Qaeda

    Slander by any other name not half as sweet!…methinks sunny boy has stepped well over the line.
    Defamation of character, libellous, malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report:…

    Why is this paranoid delusional not in front of a judge? or better still in a secure clinical mental institution?

    At least take his guns away, prove to himself he has a point or something, but only because he is mentally unfit!

  7. 7
    oranje

    @Strewth: I think it’s more like “you keep what you kill.”

    Moreso than the other wingnuts, I really do worry about Alex Jones. I’m no medical professional, but he seems to have something seriously diagnosable going on. I have a family member who sounds like him when she’s off her meds.

  8. 8
    DaveL

    Wait, wasn’t the government supposedly going to kill Alex Jones like 813 times now for revealing the Truthtm?

    What makes you think they havent?

    <Twilight Zone music>

  9. 9
    Nick Gotts

    I think it’s now an incontrovertible fact that Alex Jones is the global head of al-Qaeda – trying to throw suspicion elsewhere is an obvious sign of guilt.

  10. 10
    shouldbeworking

    Nick is right! It all makes sense!

  11. 11
    Worldtraveller

    In the sense that the US is largely responsible for the empowerment of the Taliban, there may be a tiny little germ of a point there. But then, they would have to acknowledge St. Ronnie of the Raygun’s role in that little theater, and I don’t think they want to connect all the dots.

  12. 12
    Sastra

    President Barack Obama is now the global head of Al-Qaeda…

    I saw the movie “Oz the Great and Powerful” last weekend. So I am in an excellent position to mentally visualize this sentence concerning a “global head” in the most exciting way possible.

  13. 13
    Randomfactor

    White House really did fund Al Qaeda

    And in 2001, the Bush White House funded the Taliban in Afghanistan…until that unpleasantness on September 11. At least I assume they stopped then…

  14. 14
    Doug Little

    Wait, wasn’t the government supposedly going to kill Alex Jones like 813 times now for revealing the Truth?

    Can’t they get it over with already.

  15. 15
    d.c.wilson

    Actually, it makes perfect sense. Obama is launching drone strikes at Al Qaeda in order to keep his role as it’s leader secret, because if it became widely known that he was leading Al Qaeda, he wouldn’t be able to lead it. Thus, he has to destroy Al Qaeda in order to effectively lead it!

  16. 16
    jonnewman

    Al Qaeda works like a Klingon starship.

    If you kill the captain you become the captain.

  17. 17
    dan4

    @13 “And in 2001, the Bush White House funded the Taliban in Afghanistan…”

    Citation needed. Are you referring to that bogus rumor going around the internet for a little while after the 2001 attacks that stated that the Bush Administration gave $43 million to the Taliban pre-9/11?

  18. 18
    bmiller

    Wasn’t it Saint Jimmy of Plains who really started the al Qaeda support? I thought he did.

    http://www.counterpunch.org/1998/01/15/how-jimmy-carter-and-i-started-the-mujahideen/

    Along with the Cental American Adventure, providing bullets to the Indonesian military, etc. etc.

    But he sure looks kindly wielding a hammer for Habitat for Humanity, no?

    And the international money center banks that are “too big to fail” certainly help fund such organizations with no real punishment or regulation.

  19. 19
    Ben P

    While it’s really hard to tell with Alex Jones (poe’s corollary in action) I think this is a perverse attempt at humor on his part.

    Alex Jones seems to honestly believe

    1. That the administration supporting things like the revolutionaries in Egypt, Libyia Syria precisely because they are in part islamists, not in spite of it.

    2. That the administration’s stance on killing people *he says* terrorists (even if US citizens) indicates Obama will take the same stance as to normal citizens who oppose him politically.

    I seriously think he thinks he’s being funny when he says that “i’m declaring Obama a terrorist, because he’s siding with terrorists, therefore he should just drone strike himself.”

  20. 20
    thisisaturingtest

    Loved the use of the word “incontrovertibly” there, Alex; that makes it so. It’s like he thinks that word is a Star Trek-type deflector shield against facts- “No. What I said is incontrovertible.” This makes an article of faith a force.
    Or it could be he just doesn’t really know what the word means; it’s a just a big shiny word, and he likes the sound of it.

  21. 21
    democommie

    Speaking of drone’s, the “Drudge Report” apparently got April pwned by a “news report” that drones were going to be used to deliver newspapers, running it as a straight story.

    Re: Alex Jones being a nutter. I begin to feel sympathy/pity for such people AFTER they get some help. As of now, a “naturalistic intervention” in the form of heart attack, stroke or some other or sort of organic “wake-down” call is more what I’m hoping for.

  22. 22
    yoav

    Since Obama ordered the hit on bin Laden, he’s now head of Al-Qaeda. That’s how it works.

    Al-Qaeda is like unseen university, you get promoted by filling dead man shoes, occasionally after emptying them first.

  23. 23
    DaveL

    Speaking of drone’s, the “Drudge Report” apparently got April pwned by a “news report” that drones were going to be used to deliver newspapers, running it as a straight story.

    I have it on good authority that by July, Obama will have hundreds, possibly thousands of drones operating right out of the White House grounds.

  24. 24
    blf

    No, no, no. Mr bin Laden’s brain was transplanted into a drone. A self-controlled drone. Which can also control the other drones. So it’s the drones are controlling al Qaeda. Obama only thinks he’s in now the one in charge…

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