A Marriage of Two Conspiracy Theories

The wingnuts may be apoplectic about the idea of two gay people getting married, but they have no problem joining two deranged conspiracy theories in unholy matrimony. Susan Harris, another mediocrity plucked from the right wing blogosphere by the Worldnutdaily, combines the evil gay agenda with the UN’s Agenda 21:

One has to wonder if the bigger motive behind the homosexual agenda isn’t to secretly achieve voluntary population control: Perhaps the ultimate goal is to save the planet from the inevitable destruction of man-made climate change. One could conclude that the sustainability efforts behind Agenda 21 would greatly benefit from same-sex partners who would no longer pollute the planet with the unwanted carbon footprints of tiny feet. Even those diesel-spewing school buses could become a welcomed relic of the past if enough people stopped procreating.

They really do seem to believe that allowing gay people to get married is going to create more gay people. It’s quite bizarre. Apparently, the overwhelming allure of being gay requires that we punish and discriminate against gay people in order to prevent straight people from giving it a try. I’ve been heterosexual my entire life and I’ve never found it difficult to remain straight despite having a great many gay people that I care about. The only ones who ascribe such attractive power to The Gay are those who are opposed to it.

Harris spends a bit of time in her column complaining that many people thinks Shakespeare was gay. To quote the bard, methinks she doth protest too much.

20 comments on this post.
  1. Alverant:

    Maybe they mean it will “create” more openly gay people by making it more acceptable to be one. So the wingnuts wouldn’t mind homosexuals provided they act straight in public and private.

  2. tynk:

    To quote the bard, methinks she doth protest too much.

    I really despise when people go with this. Why is it that people feel the need to attack homophobic rhetoric by accusing the person of being homosexual?

    Accusing someone of being gay as an insult, no matter what “side” they are on, is wrong. Whether or not they are is up to them. Ed, please stop doing this.

  3. Gretchen:

    Jesus Christ, is this woman unaware that there are loads of gay parents and wannabe parents out there, and loads of straight people with no interest in procreating, and so….don’t?

    I’m really starting to think that wingnuts assume that procreation can and should only happen between two drunk 16 year olds in the back of a Buick who are then forced to marry to take care of the unwanted kid they’re not allowed to abort.

  4. baal:

    Late in the birth order sons are more likely to be gay. If they are really all that concerned, they should stop having kids about after the 2nd male child. Aside from that, pure straight parents have been having gay kids forever. Given the relative rarity of gays (really, ~ 3% pop for exclusively gay, the number goes up when you add in the ‘had any experiences’ fraction) the vast majority of gay folks have straight parents. Further, there isn’t any clear evidence* the children who have a either one or two gay parents are more likely to be gay (due to genetic effects).

    *Heteronormative effects are large and make study design difficult to do.

    I’m all for fewer humans on the planet (would 3 billion really be too many? we’re at 7 now) but the fractional rate change on birthrates from more SSM isn’t going to get there (if you could show it at all). Enough countires are allowing SSM these days that in 5 years someone could do a study to see if ther eis a drop in birthrates that can be attributed to gay marriage. Might need a longer time span though given how weak an effect I suspect it is.

  5. raven:

    Susan Harris, another mediocrity plucked from the right wing blogosphere by the Worldnutdaily, combines the evil gay agenda with the UN’s Agenda 21:

    A total amateur.

    Real wingnuts combine all the conspiracy theories in a near infinite variety of ways.

    The Bigfoots flying in their UFO saucers with elves as pilots, meet the Space Aliens and Illuminati in area 51 to plot with the commies and Moslems to make gay marriage legal after the UN takes over the world using their Agenda 21 HAARP weapons of mass destruction to depopulate the earth.

    I actually know someone who does exactly this. She is also a schizophrenic, unmedicated because doctors are all part of the conspiracy. She also frequently gets kicked out of housing for bizarre and disruptive behavior.

  6. Synfandel:

    tynk, Ed is not using the implication that Ms Harris may be a lesbian as an insult per se; he’s using the implication that she may be a lesbian as an insinuation that she’s a hypocrite.

  7. tynk:

    Synfandel:

    The tactic has been seen many times. To accuse someone to be something they appear to hate in an attempt to instigate, or insult is a common tactic.

    In this case, it uses gays and lesbians as ammo, I do not appreciate it.

  8. KathyO:

    Perhaps the ultimate goal is to save the planet from the inevitable destruction of man-made climate change.

    Those dastardly gay people and their nefarious plots to save the planet form destruction!

  9. DaveL:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the religious right doesn’t believe in the existence of straight people.

  10. DaveL:

    Actually, I should amend that: The religious right only recognizes one axis of distinction for sexuality: godly vs. sinful. The idea is that society must constantly battle to enforce “godly” behaviour and prevent “sinful” behaviour, or else humans’ tendency to be “sinful” would run amok. It therefore makes sense to them that if society condones gay marriage, men will naturally tend to marry other men and stop procreating with women. Likewise, if society allows young women to dress provocatively, they believe without the slightest hesitation that it will induce these same, presumably gay men to rape them.

  11. DaveL:

    Which, I should add, would not count as procreation, as “a woman’s body has ways of shutting that all down.”

  12. TCC:

    Synfandel, tynk: I suspect that Ed might be using the phrase outside of its normal contextual meaning (e.g. “she’s going too far in her rhetoric” rather than “her vehement opposition is evidence that she is herself gay”). If I’m wrong on this and Ed is in fact making such an insinuation, I think tynk is probably right (and I think as well that the error is almost certainly unintentional on Ed’s part if so).

  13. Pierce R. Butler:

    … the bigger motive behind the homosexual agenda … the ultimate goal is to save the planet …

    Thank you, gay people. Could you hurry it up a little?

  14. emc2:

    Wasn’t that part of the plot of The Forever War?

  15. fifthdentist:

    And these people are allowed out of their homes or care facilities unsupervised where they can come into contact with the rest of us? Fuck!

  16. d.c.wilson:

    It’s like she thinks legalizing gay marriage will make it mandatory for everyone.

  17. Jacob Schmidt:

    Apparently, the overwhelming allure of being gay requires that we punish and discriminate against gay people in order to prevent straight people from giving it a try.

    I’m sure this has nothing to do with the fact that more than a few prominent anti-gay bigots have been caught engaging in homosexual affairs.

  18. cottonnero:

    They really do seem to believe that allowing gay people to get married is going to create more gay people.

    I’d argue that they’re right with just one extra word: more out gay people. Allowing gay people to get married is going to blunt the force of the social opprobrium that the right would like to have continue. Indeed, I suspect it already has.

  19. Pierce R. Butler:

    d.c.wilson @ # 16: … she thinks legalizing gay marriage will make it mandatory for everyone.

    Read up on emperors Constantine & Theodosius – that’s how it worked with christianism…

  20. dingojack:

    Gee – I hope these two theories aren’t of the same sex…. [Tiny popping of wingnut's brains 'sploding]
    :) Dingo

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