Beck, the Tower of Babel and the Man in the Moon

More details are emerging about what is either going be an epic train wreck or a crashing bore, Glenn Beck’s much-hyped 4th of July extravaganza in which he says he will tell the story of America from the perspective of the (non-existent, of course) man in the moon. It apparently has something to do with the Tower of Babel. Oh, and the Jewish wingnut Daniel Lapin repeats his nonsense about retirement being unbiblical:

GLENN: I have with me one of my dear friends and he’s the best teacher I think. I said on the era minute ago, I have such respect for David Barton and I think he’s one of the best teachers known in America. Rabbi Daniel Lapin is David Barton on steroids, not on speed but on steroids. And I was just showing him a picture of something that’s coming from the American Dream Labs for Man in the Moon and this is in construction now and I think it’s actually finished. I’m just waiting for the film on it. But this is a model of the Tower of Babel that, when I’m telling the story of America in the Man in the Moon thing for independence week in Salt Lake, part of that has to include the Tower of Babel. And that came from a conversation where he taught me the story, Rabbi Lapin taught me the story of the Tower of Babel and it is so clear what the ‑‑ the Lord is so consistent, and we are battling the exact same problem over and over and over again.

RABBI LAPIN: Well, that’s what the first nine verses in Chapter 11 of genesis, that’s not just a silly story about some anachronistic nation that’s vanished in some primitive archeological artifact. No, it’s actually a blueprint for the faithful allure of socialism which will live and burn in the hearts of men until the end of time.

GLENN: He has a new book called Buried Treasure: Secrets For Living from the Lord’s Language, where he is taking Hebrew and showing ‑‑ for instance, I love this, and this isn’t in the book and let me just make this side note. One of the things he taught me was, “Glenn, there is no such thing ‑‑ there’s no Hebrew word for retirement. It’s not in the Bible. There’s no word for retirement, not part of God’s plan.”

I bet there’s no Hebrew word for car or television show either, so Beck is sinning every time he drives to the studio to do his show. How are these people taken seriously?

30 comments on this post.
  1. jnorris:

    IIRC the average lifespan for a Bronze Age goat herder was 35. One scraped by from birth to death unless one was lucky and became a priest leech.

  2. raven:

    There is nothing in the bible that wasn’t known to the iron age sheepherders who made it all up.

    But they did get a lot wrong. Such as;

    The earht is flat, orbited by the sun, and the moon is a glow in the dark disk. The stars are just lights stuck on a dome.

  3. raven:

    RABBI LAPIN: Well, that’s what the first nine verses in Chapter 11 of genesis, that’s not just a silly story about some anachronistic nation that’s vanished in some primitive archeological artifact.

    People have paid Glenn Beck $100 million for drivel like this.

    that (the bible) is just a silly story about some anachronistic nation that’s vanished in some primitive archeological artifact.

    Fixed.

  4. doublereed:

    The Tower of Babel is a fantastic example of how religion is misanthropic, anti-humanist, and anti-science.

    Religion will tell you not to make your towers too high lest we make God angry.

    Science builds skyscrapers.

  5. zekehoskin:

    There’s no *Biblical Hebrew* way to express the concept:
    I can’t find my English-Hebrew dictionary. I wanted to look up “evolution”.
    Babylon.com has no problem.
    אני לא מוצא את מילון אגלי-עברי. אני רוצה לחפש “התפתחות”.
    (NB: The posting software fouled up the punctuation of the Hebrew very badly, and I’m nothing like fluent enough to try to fix it. The point I’m trying to make is, there certainly are Hebrew words for concepts that didn’t appear in the Bible, so the good rabbi has said the thing that is not so.)

  6. busterggi:

    Word salad – not filling, not nutricious.

  7. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith:

    Raven:

    that (the bible) is just a silly story about some anachronistic nation that’s vanished in some primitive archeological artifact.

    You’re feeling very generous today.

    I would have written at the very least “highly embellished silly story”, or, considering how archeology has shredded to meaningless pieces any claims of historicity of the bible, “made up silly story”.

    Not that they have much to show about it as far archeological artifacts go.

  8. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith:

    There’s no word for retirement, not part of God’s plan.

    God’s plan sucks it seems. I bet it doesn’t even have dental – there mustn’t be any word about this either in the woolly babble.

  9. dingojack:

    And don’t forget those cud-chewing rodents, the four-legged insects and the chameleonic* farm animals!
    Dingo
    ——–
    * so to speak. Chameleons, apparently, change colour in order to signal, not in order to merge into the background.

  10. Randomfactor:

    Numbers 8:25
    but at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer.

  11. Skip White:

    Now I want to go listen to the song “Skyscraper” by Bad Religion.

  12. sailor1031:

    When one reads these transcripts one realises just how confused and incoherent the thinking of these people is. Do they ever actually finish a sentence – or a thought?

  13. teele:

    sailor1031: In order to finish a thought, one has to be able to initiate one. I think that’s where the problem is.

  14. corporal klinger:

    “…the– the Lord is so consistent, and we are battling the exact same problem over and over and over again. …”

    Well, the lord may be consistent, but you “outconsist” him easily, being consistently a babbling idiot who, despite being an uneducated know-nothing, has found a way to make a luxurious living being a lying, bigoted, hate-mongering asshole, a living insult to every decent comedian out there.

  15. Moggie:

    doublereed:

    Science builds skyscrapers.

    Religion flies planes into them.

  16. Thorne:

    I bet there’s no Hebrew word for car or television show either

    I had a lay preacher inform me once that there wasn’t anything in the Bible about men walking on the moon, so they couldn’t have done it. I told him there wasn’t anything about driving a pickup truck to work, either, so why wasn’t he riding his ass every day?

    He didn’t seem to appreciate my argument.

  17. Jim:

    There is a biblical word for retirement. It’s only used once, and in relation to a specific class (the Levites), but it’s there.

  18. jamessweet:

    Is there a Hebrew word for “douchebag”?

  19. vmanis1:

    I suppose it’s too much to ask a Biblical literalist to understand `metaphor’.

  20. timgueguen:

    If Barton, Beck, and Lapin are on something, it’s not speed or steroids. It’s LSD. Or maybe magic mushrooms.

  21. dingojack:

    jamessweet (#18) – wouldn’t that be: ‘Jehovah’?
    :) Dingo

  22. Dr X:

    What’s the Hebrew word for lying-millionaire-Mormon, crocodile tears.

  23. dan4:

    “…retirement, not part of God’s plan.”

    *shrugs* Well, then, that says a lot about God, none of it good.

  24. DaveL:

    Religion will tell you not to make your towers too high lest we make God angry.

    Science builds skyscrapers.

    And religion knocks them down again!

  25. democommie:

    “Rabbi Daniel Lapin is David Barton on steroids, not on speed but on steroids.”

    It’s not teh Burnin’ Stoopit, it’s teh Nu-Q-Lar Fire Burnin’ Stoopit, with extra gamma rays.

    I move for a name change, let’s call it “The Tower of Bekdung”

  26. skinnercitycyclist:

    From glennbeck.com:

    GLENN: Okay. So one of the things in the book you talk about, there’s only one word for blood and money.

    RABBI LAPIN: Yes. In Hebrew ‑‑

    GLENN: And so when you’re reading ‑‑ you’re reading the scriptures, you have to know which way it’s ‑‑ similar.

    RABBI LAPIN: It’s always like that, yes, and this is not like this in English. For instance, the sole of my foot has absolutely nothing to do with fried sole that I like with french fries.

    Lapin is full of crap generally, but he is an idiot when it comes to language. While I admire his co-option of Heidegger’s aesthetic concerning language, all he had to do was look in a modest college dictionary to discover that the word for “sole” of your foot does indeed derive from the same vulgar Latin source as the “sole” he has fried with french fries. English has countless examples of this (as do all languages where a literal term is applied figuratively). Just a simple example along the lines of Lapin’s “reasoning,” the English words “fee” (the price you pay for a service) and “pecuniary” (adjective denoting money) each derive from roots having to do with “cattle” (Old English “feoh” [cattle] and Latin “pecu” ["flock of sheep"], which are themselves cognates in Indo-European). If this guy is so intellectually lazy he cannot even be bothered to open a common dictionary, I would say that makes the case for his being “David Barton on crack,” except I guess you would have to say “David Barton on MORE crack.”

  27. =8)-DX:

    @1 & @2

    So was it iron or bronze? Sheep or goats? Make up your minds!

  28. noastronomer:

    @=8)-DX

    Bronze-age = Goat herding
    Iron-age = Sheep herding

  29. kermit.:

    Thorne: I had a lay preacher inform me once that there wasn’t anything in the Bible about men walking on the moon, so they couldn’t have done it.
    .
    Holy crap! When the Sputnik went into orbit, I was six years old and walking with my grandfather, the Southern Baptist preacher. I said “It won’t be long now, grandpa, until we’re on the moon!” (I loved science fiction. Mrs. Pickerell Goes to Mars – one of my favorites) He growled “The bible doesn’t say anything about men walking on the moon! Men will never walk on the moon!”
    .
    Even at six, I knew enough to realize that it didn’t say anything about radio or eyeglasses, either, and I also knew enough to stay silent. Grandpa was infallible (“Are you calling God a liar?”) and had a fiercely righteous temper, but I remembered this, and I soon learned that religion makes people mean, scared, and crazy.
    .
    So that particular silliness is still around. Huh.

  30. Thorne:

    @kermit

    So that particular silliness is still around. Huh.

    Don’t know about still. My experience was 30 years ago. And it was a coworker, not a grandfather, so I had no trouble with ridiculing his statement. But looking at some of the religious nuts out there, like Ken Ham, Ray Comfort, etc., I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if there are still a ton of flat-earthers, too.

    As for calling God a liar? I would say, “No, I’m calling anyone who claims to know the mind of God a liar.”

    And I don’t know if religion makes people mean, scared and crazy, but i certainly makes them meaner and crazier. And then tells them they’re good people for being so mean.

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