Fox Guest: Iran and Syria Could Invade Us!


Angela McGlowan, who used to work as a lobbyist for Fox News’ owner News Corp and now is a Fox News contributor, went on Lou Dobbs’ show on Fox Business and offered up a novel argument: We need assault weapons to protect us against an invasion by Iran or Syria.

“What scares the hell out of me we have a president, as we were discussing during break, that wants to take away our guns, but yet he wants to attack Iran and Syria. So if they come and attack us here, we don’t have the right to bear arms under this Obama administration, if he gets his way.”

Wrong in premise and absolutely moronic in conclusion. I don’t know where she gets the idea that Obama wants to attack Iran and Syria. But even if he did, the notion that those two countries are going to invade the United States is as laughable as the new Red Dawn remake, which she apparently thinks is a documentary. She might as well have claimed that we need them to repel an invasion from Mars.

Comments

  1. The Lorax says

    The last people to directly attack mainland USA (as far as I am aware of) was the Japanese. In the 1940’s.

    Yeeaaahh….

  2. kantalope says

    Ha – but the Martians will invade thinking that we are all machines armed with science and solar panels. Instead they will run into a buzz-saw of knock-off assault rifles and ignorance – won’t they be surprised.

    On the other hand: The Syrians just tore through our Navy, Air Force, Army, and Marine Corps like a Decepticon through an untransformed auto-bot and a bunch of FoxNews hillbillies is gonna stop em?

    Wolverines!

  3. daved says

    What we need to worry about is the Aghartans from the Hollow Earth.

    Even if we defeated them, it’d be a hollow victory. (Ducks and runs away.)

  4. jayhawk says

    She has a point, because after these monster defense cuts, and our defense spending is only as much as the next 8 or 9 countries combined, the military obviously won’t be able to defend us. We need nuts with guns to protect us from the hording foreigners that dare to attack us. If you have brown skin or have any accent that does not originate from the former British Empire (Ireland, Scotland, Australia, etc.), you might want to stay undercover until they run out of ammo.

  5. raven says

    Iranians and Syrians? Huh?

    They are nothing compared to the Morlocks!!!

    If the fundie xian Eloi were brighter, they might notice that a lot of them disappear during the night..

  6. jnorris says

    I don’t think she watched either Red Dawn. I think she watch The Mouse That Roared (1956).

  7. Synfandel says

    …you might want to stay undercover until they run out of ammo.

    With Walmart limiting sales to three boxes per person per day, they’ll be out in no time. As one of my colleagues remarked, “I don’t know how anyone can survive on just three boxes of ammo a day.”

  8. busterggi says

    The folks in red-state podunk towns really beleive they are the targets of choice for invaders & terrorists who for whatever reason will ignore the large coastal cities that actually hold most of the population, wealth and functional government.

    Projecting Mayberry as the strategical target of choice – a little insecurity over their own comparitive meaninglessness.

  9. cheesynougats says

    Now, let me see…
    We had the right to own weapons for quite some time.
    Did this stop the al Quaeda attack? I’m confused…

  10. Doug Little says

    Oh, you don’t think it could happen? Two words,

    ANCHOR BABIES

    It’s just gonna take a hell of a long time.

  11. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    Now, let me see…
    We had the right to own weapons for quite some time.
    Did this stop the al Quaeda attack? I’m confused…

    But, don’t you understand ?

    It’s because not enough people had guns.

    If the pilots and the flight attendants and the passengers had guns on those planes, it wouldn’t have happened.

    All criminal or terrorist problems can be solved with moar cowbell more guns.

    Isn’t that how gun nut “logic” works ?

  12. Ben P says

    The folks in red-state podunk towns really beleive they are the targets of choice for invaders & terrorists who for whatever reason will ignore the large coastal cities that actually hold most of the population, wealth and functional government.

    I’ve seen that sentiment before. People in rural northern Arkansas hill country speculating about terrorists.

    the ozarks, like the Appalachians, like a big chunk of the west would be the functional equivalent of the tribal areas in Afghanistan if anyone were to ever invade. Anyone with a shred of sense would decide there’s nothing worth getting killed over up here and would stick to the cities.

  13. noastronomer says

    @Ben P.

    I’m not even sure the cities are worth it. Really, would you fight for New York? Not me.

    Mike.

  14. anubisprime says

    If these people so much as fart they must shit themselves in paranoid fear!

    ‘effing hell where are the grown ups?

  15. thebookofdave says

    Doesn’t our interplanetary defense strategy hinge upon fighting the Martians there, to we don’t have to fight them here? If Martians are able to brush off assault by a nucular-powered laser-armed ATV, a few extra small arms won’t even slow them down. We should stay the course and give preemption a chance to work.

  16. Doug Little says

    Doesn’t our interplanetary defense strategy hinge upon fighting the Martians there,

    No, we won’t have to worry comet C/2013 A1 (Siding Spring) is gonna take care of those pesky Martians for us.

  17. criticaldragon1177 says

    Ed Brayton,

    Actually its unlikely that we’ll have to worry about Iran or Syria invading us, and if they could be stopped by untrained civilians with guns as they claim, there’s no way they could stand against our military. So the scenario they imagine, if far fetched to say the least.

  18. dingojack says

    RE: Mars attacking*
    With this secret weapon you should be safe enough.
    Dingo
    ——–
    * note who’s invading whom

  19. says

    noastronomer @ 19

    I’m not even sure the cities are worth it. Really, would you fight for New York?

    I’d fight for the American Museum of Natural History, the New York City Public Library, The Metropolitan Museum of Art and one or two (hundred) other places in NYC.

  20. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    “She might as well have claimed that we need them to repel an invasion from Mars.”

    The chances of anything coming* from Mars area million to one …

    ______________________________________… But still they coooooome! ;-)

    – With apologies to HG Wells and Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds Musical.

  21. blf says

    Actually, comet Siding Spring is the Mayans returning (with the help of Teh Ancient Astronauts), now that the Great Mayan Calendar Collapse disaster is over, to reclaim the Earth. They don’t intend to collide with Mars, they intend to land on it — and use it as a base for the invasion of Earth…

    Being originally from Earth, the War of the Worlds defense — germs — won’t be as effective (or at least so they assume, albeit Europe’s invasion of the Americas suggests there might be a flaw or three there…); therefore, USAlienstani’s need guns! And more guns! And even more guns!!!1!

  22. dingojack says

    blf – Guns? I would recommend Variola Virus. It was a lot more effective than guns.
    :( Dingo

  23. baal says

    Geography, geography…Globe!! oh look, there is an ocean between here and there. I’m guessing the Irani and Syrian navies could be on our door step in another few decades (after they build more than the trivial number of boats they have now).

  24. says

    She might as well have claimed that we need them to repel an invasion from Mars.

    That’s pretty much already been done. See: “Battlefield Earth” and just about every other hackneyed story about a Galactic Evil Empire that devoured, enslaved and/or annihilated a zillion other sentient species, in a millinia-long campaign of conquest, only to find it can’t handle those plucky individualistic (mostly white, American, privileged, survivalist) humans, who invent a new weapon in someone’s garage and retake the Galaxy in a week.

    Back on topic, Iran kinda needs an air force to threaten us, and if they had one, they’d be attacking Israel, not us. And Syria? Really?! Do these wankers even watch real news anymore?

  25. blf says

    Geography, geography…Globe!! oh look, there is an ocean between here and there.

    Nah, just dig down-ish and a bit to the left. USAlienstan isn’t expecting an attack from underground. Should be a easy stroll in the park.

  26. says

    blf: Oceans are created by God. What if God withdraws his protection from America? IS NO ONE THINKING OF TEH (overgrown) CHILDREN??!!!!!

  27. blf says

    Iran and Syria’s secret weapon that ensures victory has just been revealed by North Korea, Did North Korea photoshop its hovercraft?:

    …several of the eight hovercraft in the photo appear to be digital clones, speculating that at least two of them had simply been copied and pasted elsewhere. Another craft raised suspicions due to its “soft edges, lack of visible wake, and color oddities”.

    Invasion by photomanipulation!

  28. caseloweraz says

    This just in: Fox News HQ invaded by Iran & Syria. Angela McGlowan fights them off.

    Film at 11.

  29. noastronomer says

    @John Pieret #27

    “I’d fight for the American Museum of Natural History, the New York City Public Library, The Metropolitan Museum of Art and one or two (hundred) other places in NYC.”

    But would you, as an *invader*, sacrifice goodness knows how many thousands of lives to capture a few rocky islands in New York Bay that have no natural resources and with easily defensible terrain behind the port?

    Mike.

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