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Jesus Appears in Bird Shit

Jesus and his mother, the “Virgin” Mary, have a habit of appearing in odd places, from tortilla chips to toast to bathroom mold. But this may be the strangest one yet. An Ohio man thinks he saw the face of Jesus in bird shit on the windshield of his car.

Lawry was in the driveway of his parent’s Brooklyn, Ohio, home when he noticed the spot left behind by a passing bird. A closer look gave him quite a surprise and left him amazed.

Lawry’s son, parents and friends all came out to look. They too were amazed.

In an email to NewsChannel5, Lawry said he believed it was some sort of sign and wanted to share.

I foresee a new Catholic shrine, Our Lady of Perpetual Bird Shit. It’s a miracle!

Comments

  1. Who Knows? says

    The God who parted seas, spoke through burning bushes, sent plagues upon Egypt, is now working in bird shit?

  2. dingojack says

    At least this ain’t male bovine scat*.
    Dingo
    ——–
    * well any more than is usual

  3. jamessweet says

    Obligatory “it looks more like this other bearded man” comment: Looks more like Kurt Cobain to me.

  4. Phillip IV says

    If your god sends you such “shitty” signs and portents, I think it’s pretty safe to assume you are not his favorite prophet.

  5. says

    I’ve always sucked at pareidolia – at least, I can rarely see what other people seem to see in tortillas and bird shit. With this one: that looks more like a muzzle than a bearded chin. Holy fox, batman!

    On the other hand, I’m always seeing resemblances and patterns that other people don’t, so maybe it works out. But it certainly makes me extra-skeptical of these “miraculous signs”.

  6. says

    Question: How do they recognize it’s Jesus? Did any contemporary artist ever capture Jesus’ likeness for reference?

    It’s kind of like how Americans get abducted by “grays” in “flying saucers” these days. I recall one old UFO sighting sketch: Men from the moon depicted as goblin-like creatures flying a propeller-driven zeppelin.

  7. looseleaf says

    I’m so tired of this kind of wrong-headed thinking. That is clearly NOT Jesus. It is a golden retriever in a 90’s Jennifer Aniston do.

  8. says

    Do you realize what this means? There must be other signs out there that people missed because rain, or not looking all that closely at bird shit, or snow, or the bird missed the windshield and hit the grass instead, or there were no windhshields yet.

  9. says

    This is obvious proof there is no Jesus. Seriously, if i had godly powers, and people thought i, or my superpowered dad, was making my face appear in bird droppings to inspire them I’d be pissed off. I’d make an appearance someplace and tell these folks to stop believing such nonsense.

  10. Moggie says

    I think the Archangel Gabriel must be getting hard of hearing. God told him to send a message via the pope.

  11. anubisprime says

    Why manifest in a dollop of bird poo…?
    Why reveal your holy visage to a relatively few of the brain dead…?

    And why the fuck in Ohio…?

  12. says

    I think the Archangel Gabriel must be getting hard of hearing. God told him to send a message via the pope.

    That’s worth at least a half an internet!

  13. Moggie says

    Lawry said he believed it was some sort of sign

    “Some sort of sign” isn’t very useful.

    The trouble is, poop is kind of a low-bandwidth medium. It’s hard for it to convey a detailed message: about the best you can manage is “hey! Jesus!” Humans have had writing for over 5000 years; you’d think God would have mastered it by now.

  14. says

    Moggie “The trouble is, poop is kind of a low-bandwidth medium.”
    The message is simple. God agrees with whatever I want. I mean, come on! It’s basic coprotheology!

  15. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    Looks more like Lassie the Wonder Dog with a Donald Trump comb-over than Jesus.

  16. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    I see looseleaf@11 sees much the same as I do! However, on second thoughts, we could both have been fooled by the cultural stereotype of Jesus – maybe he did look like a dog with a weird hairstyle.

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